to think the length of time UK friends have to wait for funeral is cruel

I ve just seen an advert for second hand caskets How’s does that happen ??

We waited 2 weeks to bury my Mum. I didn't think it was cruel at all. We used that time to clear her house, come to terms with her death and plan a funeral that truly reflected her character. I felt I needed those 2 weeks and wouldn't have wanted her funeral to take place any earlier.

Monica I saw a wicker one on line fir £200 but honest if I had my way cardboard box would do fine or just wrapped in a sheet suit me fine don’t like the thought of being nailed in I d rather have a lift off lid ???

BlueBelle Fri 20-Dec-19 16:47:38
I ve just seen an advert for second hand caskets How’s does that happen??

The mind boggles!

Simple enough - they use the casket to take body to burial or cremation, wrapped in sheet inside- then take body out last minute and bury or cremate without. Great idea.

Jura

I remain intrigued by your OP accusations and feeling the UK ' is cruel' and a shortage of facilities is ' responsible'.

I will repeat my question:-

'You have started a thread about the UK v Switzerland but what is your evidence that there is a shortage of facilities which in turn ' is responsible' for a funeral to take place?

I think this thread has shown very clearly that the OP was misguided and that it has got far more to do with custom and tradition and what we prefer, than the provision of facilties.

Muslims are meant to be buried within 24 hours, but I think most of us have no more desire to emulate them than we have to emulate the Swiss 5 day deadline.

OP surely if there was a "shortage of facilities" they would need to bury people quicker to free up mortuary space!

Your conclusion makes no logistical sense. Please explain how facilities holding deceased for longer proves a lack of capacity? It's illogical.

Waits for burials would also be getting longer, rather than static at around two weeks.

for cremation notanan2

POGS I responded to you yesterday at 17.59.03

My two family members were cremated. One was in around 9 days, and the other 2 weeks.

Also attended two cremations this year, and both of those were a two week wait, although their relatives were given a choice of dates.

My Brother died over in Ireland.they bury/ cremate over there on the 3 rd day.( we his family brothers/ sisters ect ) Did Not know this No one told us either. So when my Brother passed we were left dangling trying to come to terms with his death and how to get over to Ireland for his funeral. Although we all knew he wanted to be buried with his late wife here in Cleethorpes. We were informed about the funeral and burial with 1 day to try to organise flowers ferry times ect. Unfortunately for us all no flowered or anyone of his family attended his funeral. We all feel bitter about this and it seems like unfinished

Where I live, in ne Spain, its 48 hours for funeral. Any longer you need special permission and embarment. It's quite usual to have the funeral the day after the death.

Re cremation, like anything it depends on how particular you are. If you want a full service or particular time of day etc you'll have a longer wait that someone willing to slot into the next available with minimum "wrap around"

There is no enforced delay.
If you dont have coroner issues etc you can do it quickly if you want. Or not if you have a lot of "must haves"

My Dad died 22nd of Dec & we were offered New Years Eve or have to wait another 4 weeks as it was a busy time of year. Needless to say Christmas was ruined & every New Years Eve is a sad reminder even 28 yrs later.?

notanan2, my direct cremation includes a plain pine coffin. I don't see that burning some wood is environmentally unfriendly, it just releases the co2 the tree took up. It's the energy use for cremations and the mercury pollution (from dental fillings) that are of more concern.

Burial is considered better for the environment (providing there's no embalming - always optional and unnecessary anyway). It costs a lot more, though!

www.theguardian.com/environment/2005/oct/18/ethicalmoney.climatechange

I think the funerals of almost everyone in the older generation of my family– and, indeed, in my own generation – have taken place within a week of their deaths. It was a bit of a struggle to sort out dates when my father-in-law and my mother died on the same day but several hundred miles apart from each other. Even so, I am pretty sure that both his cremation and her funeral were within 10 days of their dying. Similarly, when a beloved cousin died in Christmas week, her funeral took place on Christmas Eve.

I dont want to be buried. And a grave is a burden. I dont want my family to feel guilty if weeds are growing on me, I like weeds anyway.

I just dont see the point in a coffin for direct disposal, who is going to see it?

Back in 1972, my father died suddenly on a Sunday, the church service in our little village church was the Wednesday, three days later, followed by cremation after.
Nowadays there is often a wait for the crematorium, about three weeks seems the norm, but of course it could be choice that the bereaved make to allow for folk to make plans.
Burials are probably ok if in a municipal cemetery that is cared for, grass cut regularly etc. My maternal family are in a lovely quiet little village churchyard, but am very aware when I have died, no one will come and put the occasional flowers on, or tidy it up. Their graves will end up like so many others, overgrown, untended, illegible headstones, forgotten, unloved.

My Mother died on the Wednesday morning and was cremated on the Friday afternoon and to be honest it was too quick. A very close friends Husband died suddenly and it took 3 weeks to cremate him, that really was too long.

Well at the end of the day we ll know nothing, so immaterial
There’s so much in the world to get uptight about that a one week two week or three week funeral has no place in my head at all
No I don’t think U.K. is cruel in its traditions, in hot countries I can understand why it’s pretty quick In Ireland they re embalmed because they leave the coffin open I m not too keen on that one prefer my memories People took photos of my son in law lying in his coffin that seemed very unusual to me but each to his own it’s what you grow up with The Irish love their funerals (no disrespect to any Irish on here) but you only have to have met Patrick once to be up there at the funeral ?

Funerals, like any spot to commemorate the loved one, are for those left behind. I wouldn't want to constrain my adult children in the way they mark my death.
BlueBelle - I was at the funeral of a much loved Irish friend recently. I know you didn't mean to cause offence but your comments were less than sensitive. My friend had lived in England for 40 years but his funeral was attended by a huge group of relatives and friends from his village in Ireland. Alongside our service, a Mass was taking place in that village for people who couldn't attend. Rather than saying 'the Irish love their funerals" I'd say that faith is a big part of the commitment to funerals.
No offence meant BlueBelle and I hope none taken.

Not wishing to be disrespectful but has anyone read the books about Stephanie Plum by Janet Ivanovich?
Her Grandma's favourite hobby was visiting the funeral parlour, along with her other friends. They are the social hub of the neighbourhood.

It was the anniversary of my fathers death yesterday..but we only had the option to arrange for his cremation in 2nd week of January. Not only is this n obviously busy period but new laws have reduced the amount of cremations that can be held in a day for environmental impacts. Not easy to have to endure the Christmas period with this hanging over us but to be honest it felt like the right time for reflection in the end.