to think the length of time UK friends have to wait for funeral is cruel

Calandergirl, you are right,It is so difficult to keep a grave in a churchyard looking nice.
If you live near and are prepared to tend it then no problem but the family/friends are responsible for the grave. Not the church.
I think a lot of people are unaware of this. Flowers that have been lovingly placed can look pretty awful a few weeks down the line.
I’m going to the carol service tonight and am sure that Christmas wreaths will be in evidence, unfortunately some graves will still have last years on them.

jura2 Fri 20-Dec-19 18:58:17
POGS I responded to you yesterday at 17.59.03
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Sorry but I could not see an answer in that post to my question as to why you stated " the UK ' is cruel' and a shortage of facilities is ' responsible'.

Was it the account of just ' one' of your friends that led you to ask the question in such a format?

I thought you had some factual evidence to support your point re a shortage of facilities being ' responsible' and led to such cruelty in the UK.

I hope you have had your concern allayed and you are happy know there is no cruelty here in the UK, at least I see no evidence of it.

Two weeks for my Dad's funeral, at the time I felt it was a rush to let everyone know at a time when you are grieving, but then after I had done all the necessary things, it seemed a long time until 'the day'. We don't have a choice really, it depends on the availability of everone involved.

I've just come back after visiting my next door neighbour. I put a Christmas card through her door (addressed to her and husband) over the weekend. Got one back from her this morning saying that her husband died on 3rd of November ( I had no idea). Apparently, his funeral has been booked for 24th January! So about 10 weeks after his death, as there has been a problem with his death certificate ( I had this too, when my husband died 8 years ago, but his funeral took place on time).

What a long time to wait! Poor lady is not in the best of health herself (both nearly 90), and feels in limbo at the moment.

I agree that most UK funerals seem to take place within about two weeks, which gives time for all the arrangements to be made, but a 10 week wait is (in my opinion) very unsatisfactory.

My son died (suicide) on December 12th 2008, the funeral took place on December 29th.

I had no say in the planning, was all done by ex husband and his then partner.

I'm not aware of any unwanted wait before a funeral. Our nieghbour died recently and his funeral was held 9 days later. He'd stipulated that it was to be for family only and to have a cheap coffin. His poor wife was embarrassed as lots of people wanted to attend but their sons insisted that their father's wishes be adhered to.
I don't want to make anything at all awkward for my family when I go. They can do what seems best for them at the time. I always think that funerals are really for those left behind. The dear departed have, well, departed!

My BiL died and due to a post mortem having to be carried out for an inquest (O/D), it was 11 weeks before we could have his funeral. It was an incredibly stressful time, I spent the entire time in tears.
My sister died and I couldn't get an appointment to even REGISTER her death for 30 days afterwards. Only then could I organise her funeral which was a further 4 weeks.
Both funerals had unacceptable delays due to officialdom and bureaucracy.

Coroners courts etc also hold up funerals for weeks/months in countries that usually bury within 3 days too though.

Thats not a UK thing so presumably not what the OP is talking about

Here in Ireland the funeral is usually 2 to 3 days after the death. If a close family member has to travel from abroad it might be delayed for a couple of days.

My father died on a Wed night and there was some talk of an autopsy and my mother was distraught that we might have to wait beyond the weekend to have the funeral. We would see that here as prolonging the agony.

My neighbour's husband passed away on the 5th of this month....funeral was yesterday ...basically 2 weeks.

10 days for my husbands friends funeral and it could have been sooner .When my parents died we stuck with the 3 day schedule that family had always kept to.Its NOT a party so there didn't need to be huge guest lists .A service and a restuarant to book for the usual soup and steak pie that we do here .An approximate number for the meal and they charge for who turns up.I did work with someone who thought her family all needed to have hair appointments before her dads funeral,I thought that was quite odd.Beswitched we tend to do it the irish way too a long wait wouldn't work for us

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