Christmas lunch

Yehbutnobut, thanks so much for the form of words you suggested which I do like.

Dinahmo, I won't, Thank you for the warning.

I assume it has been in the fridge. I think you are being a bit paranoid about food poisoning.

Maybe you don't realise how very, very lucky you are to have a son like him, prepared to come and cook for you and share Christmas day with you, in spite of your unwarranted criticisms. Many would envy you. He sounds lovely, and I hope you can lighten up and really enjoy and treasure the day with him, and show love and have fun together. Perhaps a Baileys or two early on would help! Enjoy.

You don't realise how lucky you are - how sad. I will be alone, my son is going to stay with my daughter & her partner & my granddaughter, & although they have asked me to join them I don't want him coming a long journey to collect me ( also not too happy about his driving ) & as I'm not well I can't contemplate driving myself at the moment. I'd be over the moon if he'd offered to come & cook me a meal, even if it was only a packet meal. Just be thankful & make sure he realises how much you appreciate him.

Just read your post seacliff - completely agree!

If the use by date is 27th I am sure it will be fine. If it hadnt been bought it would have just been stored in the shop so there isn't really any difference than if he had bought it Xmas eve. I woukd eat it an Di am a stickler for dates. Much to my husbands annoyance I won't eat anything past its Use By date.
Enjoy Christmas with your lovely son.

Have a lovely day, Alexa

I question his reason, unless asked by yourself, in giving you the use by date.Were it me, and lacked confidence in my son's capabilities, would provide the turkey myself
The choice is yours.

I hope you have a lovely meal and an enjoyable time with your son. I have not seen my son on Christmas Day for over twenty years.

By coincidence, the question of how long a turkey crown will keep for came up for me. I bought one last Thursday, use by 26 December. Today we decided to cook it and eat some of it, not because I was anxious about it going off, but rather than defrost something out of the freezer. We will now slice up and freeze the rest for sandwiches, and have something different on Christmas Day. What does it matter? There is just the two of us.

Just relax and enjoy. Don’t make your son feel inadequate.

I was smiling to myself remembering some of my turkey “mishaps” in bygone days (before people were so aware of food poisoning). I can remember leaving the turkey outside for days! (Too big to fit in fridge). I remember seeing puncture wounds from gawd knows what .. and cooking it anyway! I remember trying to defrost in bowl of water and on radiator ?. I also remember our cats got tucked in one year, bite marks all over raw chicken!!! I don’t remember anybody getting food poisoning.

You will know if the turkey isn’t cooked thoroughly by looking.
Enjoy and what a lovely son.

Usually, use by dates err on the side of caution. I'd jump at the chance for somebody to cook my Christmas lunch. Just be grateful and accept.

27th December is 2 days after Christmas Day so what’s the problem?

It is Sunday so phone and say you hope he has had a good weekend and tell him how much you are looking forward to being looked after on Christmas day.

Well done you on raising such a thoughtful son. I suspect he realises you sometimes get anxious about things like hygiene and use by dates and was trying to reassure you by telling you the use by date was 27th.
Enjoy your Christmas meal. Use a thermometer or check the juices run clear to reassure you it's cooked
Honesty is usually best, so an honest but light-hearted apology is probably the route to take with your son.
I do wonder if you would benefit from discussing your anxiety in a bit more depth with a close friend or counsellor if it impacts on everyday life. Maybe even explain to your son how it affects you if it is causing you problems and you think he can handle such a discussion.
I hope you and your son have a lovely day. x

You need to relax and eat in the company of a generous loved one.
It will be fine. I doubt he's negligent.

Why do you think he can't cook,
he seems to have managed OK so far and not given himself food poisoning! If you think back to when we were young, we didn't have sell by or use by dates and we survived without them. I hope you enjoy your meal and his company, he sounds very caring.

Alexa Enjoy Christmas with your son.Do let us know how your meal goes.

So, if you went in the shop today and the turkey had the 27th on it you would think that was fine. People wasting good food because of sellbuy dates. Do you know the sell by dates on the food you eat out? I think you are being really stupid.

Alexa, do you always have an issue with use by dates on food? Is this something you are anxious or obsessed about? Has your son, or someone else close to you, had food poisoning? It seems a very strange post and a very strange worry, to suggest you will get food poisoning eating a cooked turkey that is well within its use by date. Are you worried your son won't cook it right?
I'm sorry, I don't really understand what the problem is? What use by date would you want to see? I eat stuff days after the use by date, as long as it looks alright and smells alright.
Is there something else going on in your life that is causing you to focus in the negatives of your family coming to cook you Xmas lunch? I would be ecstatic! You mentioned food poisoning a number of times, as if you are expecting it, even though the turkey is perfectly safe. Have you had it before? Or lost someone close to you because of it?

Razzy, what a good post! I am particularly interested in factory farmed poultry for its salmonella and campylobacter content. But as you surmised there is something else going on.

I am obliged to my son for all his care of me , hated maybe to have hurt his feelings and was hoping for grans en masse to tell me what to do about weighing up the danger of an inexperienced cook cooking turkey against being nice and grateful to my kind and well meaning son.

Personally I can take Xmas or leave it either way I don't care a lot what I do about Xmas. I tend to eat veggy anyway.

I had a phone call a few mins ago and my concerns have vanished. There was an invitation for both of us to my easy going veggy other son and his wife.

I am very confused.

Why cant you eat a turkey crown on the 25th that has a use by date of the 27th?

Thanks Elaine. I have a high opinion of grans together for couselling and advice. There is a big benefit from various opinions and from grans' consensus too .

" ---can handle such a discussion." Probably not!

"honest but light -hearted apology". That is what I will do. One of the other grans too has suggested this.

Glad you will now have the veggie meal you wanted. So now your son has the turkey to eat and cook just for him, by 27th?

He will also be aware that you would rather eat with your other son and his wife. I hope he is as easy-going as his brother.

When you phone to tell him of this new development, why not suggest that as he is also invited, and so doesn't need to eat the turkey on Wednesday, he could cook it before then, carve it, and freeze it for eating cold later. That would save him quite a lot of cooking in 2020.

The turkeys BOUGHT on christmas eve arent fresher than ones bought before. They're the same batch.

You are being irrational