To see nothing wrong in declining this wedding invitation

When I got married, we didn't actually send out invitations. We just informed everyone of the date and time, and left it to them to decide whether to attend or not.

The church was packed and the reception overflowing. It was a great day out for everyone.

I have been invited to Evening Dos only but never to a Wedding where I had to kick my heels for hours in an afternoon in my Wedding finery..
I would definitely decline the invitation and wouldn’t even make up a reason for doing so .
If the invitation came with a gift list I would ignore that too and send a gift of my choice-if that.

I think this is rude and comes from the overspending of weddings where the real value is lost. It’s all about money; they are not prepared to scale down the wedding breakfast to include all, or afford to give you a place and yet expect you to go the the high expense of attending.
Just wish them a wonderful day. And don’t give an excuse. Really you either invite people to your wedding which necessarily includes the wedding breakfast or you don’t. Buck this trend.

Think I would decline. Obviously not high in the 'pecking order' to warrant invite to the reception so doubt if will be missed. Sure a lot of invites are issued through politeness knowing full well they will be declined.

I would go and turn it to my advantage. It may be a thoughtless invitation but you could still explore the town. I would have a nice leisurely meal, go for a walk, find a nice park to sit in. There is something to do in every town or you could doze, read or watch tv in your hotel room.

Told all family and friends that I don’t go to weddings anymore.Hate all the hypocrisy. Just decline.

I agree too far to not be invited all day.

I hate weddings full stop. An all day one is tedious except for the bride. I daresay the groom would probably prefer to be down the pub with his mates.

We had an invite like that, my husband had opened the email with the time of the ceremony and evening do, but not the attachment with the whole itinerary.
Like you, we were wondering what to do for the interim time but when I looked at the attachment, the whole day was arranged.
It was the best wedding we had ever been to.
Make sure you are invited to the whole thing, if not I would decline.

I can understand that the friends would like to include their friends in their child's special day but they probably have limited funds for the dinner being an expensive part of the day.
My hubby and I would have a look at the area and see if this would be an opportunity to visit somewhere we haven't been before and turn it into a little holiday away from home with the pleasant addition of a wedding and a bit of a party. I have always felt we should look at the positives first.

I have never heard of a three part wedding, here most people have the ceremony around 3pm then the reception about 6pm and that’s it.
I don’t thing we would go to a wedding where we had to hang around all day waiting for a night event(is there even food at that?).
I would decline , send a little gift and then if the friends ask why just say the trip was too much

Just decline politely and say you're no longer up to driving so far.if you feel rude you could still send a card& wedding gift?

Depending on how important the bride/groom were to me, I would accept and completely comply with the invitation content. It's not about me. I would attend the ceremony - no new outfits nowadays, have plenty - go back to whatever accommodation I had arranged and either relax or potter about the area if weather permitted. I would have my own picnic bag and something more relaxed to wear for the evening. A wee memory adventure that has considerable appeal for me. I'm just glad that some people still want to get married.

Another problem I had at a (very posh) wedding was the meal. We sat and I asked for the vegetarian option (the menu was displayed on blackboards). 'Oh, no' they said, looking surprised, 'You have to pre-order that!'

Nowhere on the invitation was there any mention or option of pre-ordering. Why, I wondered, couldn't they have a few spare stuffed peppers?'

I was brought the standard chicken and veg so had to transfer my veg to a side plate to eat. A chap was happy to have my chicken to top up his own meal. Luckily, we had sandwiches in the car!

My son in law was invited to be one of a friends 'best men' at a wedding up in Scotland, with 2 of my Grandaughters asked to be bridesmaids. My Daughter and youngest Grandaughter recieved evening only invitations, yet were expected to pay for the two Bridesmaids full esembles and a kilt dress hire for my son in law as one of the best men. They live a distance of over 300 miles apart from the couple, would need to fly updue to time restraints for work comitments, and hire a room for the 5 of them to stay for 2nights. my youngest Grandaughter is upset that she has been excluded from the bridesmaids, my daughter is livid that she is expected to get everyone in her family ready in the morning, but she and the youngest one are not invited to the ceremony or meal to be held in a big posh Golf hotel, but to a disco and bacon roll do held in the evening when the Grandchildren will be tired and ready for bed.
The financial outlay for attending this wedding is more than a months wages for my son in law, asone of the Best men, hes also expected to plan a Stag do for the Groom as well as attend on the wedding day itself. The final straw came when they recieved the Wedding present list, requesting Guests to tick the box next to the gift of their choice, and the name of the store who would be supplying the items so as not to recieve duplicates. Needless to say that there was nothing listed with a value below £75,which l feel was rather cheeky.
What is it with this 'Best Men' thing anyway? There are an equil number of Best Men at this wedding as Bridesmaids, yet they have cut corners and upset a lot of these lads wives and partners from attending the main ceremony and main meal afterwards. The Wedding is due to take place in July, but the spiraling costs, and the upset its causing, plus the extra travel needed for dress choosing and fittings during school time, it is now looking unlightly that any of my family will be attending. They will just send a gift instead.

My eldest daughter decided to wed at the register office in Stockport then had tea and cakes at our house for whoever wanted to come.
Then a couple of weeks later we had a barbecue at our house in France with gites and hotels organised, and paid for by us, for some, mainly older people, and camping in the garden for others. Some were put up by locals, all of whom came to the barbecue. I was happily shocked at how many came either by plane, car or train. I would not have thought of not providing accommodation. Still, weddings seem to cost so much these days I think we paid far less even with the accommodation.
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V

It's usually a set meal so perhaps that was a reminder to let them know you are vegetarian or vegan when you RSVP.
DD always has to check in advance because of dietary requirements. Sometimes the chef will chat beforehand about what is required, which is always a good recommendation for a hotel or restaurant.

That was to Hetty58*!

In your sister’s shoes I’d decline.

Your sister will also be expected to fork out £££ for a present too, no doubt. Add that to the cost of travel, buying a meal out and the hotel stay plus breakfast the next morning.

Total waste of money.

It does not make much sense to go to both of these events. I wouldn't make any issue of it, if you don't want to go, just send apologies/good / wishes etc and be keen to hear all about it and look at photos at some point. Or have a look and see if there is something nearby to do, gardens etc, whether or not you stay for the evening reception. You could change into more comfortable clothes...

It seems odd to me. Different if you just lived down the road then yes see them being hitched. Nowadays weddings have become so varied that almost "anything goes" with very little thought about impact on guests. Let's face it your guests make the fun part of the day.

Well have been talki with sister and they are going to politely decline, sending best wishes to the bride and groom for their future together along with a gift voucher.

I disagree that the day is all about the bride and groom. The marriage is, but if you're inviting guests to witness your big day, guests who will not only go to personal expense to attend but will also be buying you a present or giving you a cash gift, then you owe them some courtesy and respect.

Why not just elope and save everyone the trouble?!

My second wedding was in France....Invites were sent to all friends and family in UK ….with a letter saying We appreciate you may not be able to join us (it was at Christmas anyway) but we felt we would like to send you an invitation ! and also stipulated we wanted no gifts …...we received nothing but positive replies and nice cards which was wonderful ! Mind you, we were a lot older than perhaps your friends' daughter !

Decline politely (Thank you for your kind invitation....regret we are unable to attend).
It’s a nice gesture to send a card and small gift to the happy couple...maybe a nice bottle of wine or some fizz?
It’s all you need to do.