Still not met three week old grandson.

Happygran I can understand how you are feeling, I would just hold on for the time being, the new family may well be struggling a little. You can always send flowers/gift for baby with a card to say you are there if they need help, I am sure it will be appreciated.

In time you will see lovely little grandson and can offer practical help when face to face.

Congratulations on becoming Grandparents. Hold on tight, it will happen eventually.

I totally disagree with agnurse as well. The op is not some pushy neighbour trying to claim equal status to a grandparent. She is the baby's paternal grandmother and it is pretty insensitive of the dil and her family to make her feel unwelcome and that even one visit is not wanted.

My síl and her mother (who are both lovely normally) tried something like this with my parents after her and my brother's first child was born. My brother took matters into his own hands and rang my parents and told them they were very welcome to call over.

I find sons can be fairly clueless about how we mothers/grandmothers feel. For some reason they are led by their wives. It has always been like that. I think a quiet word with your son is what's needed here. You should definitely be involved with the little one by now... and from now on. I don't care what anyone says about gender differences - men, generally, do not feel the same way about things as women. Note I only say generally because there are exceptions. As an example - when my DH was ill his DD phoned him every day. He got a bit fed up with it and said once a week would be enough. Whereas if I was ill I'd WANT my children to phone me every day.

I totally disagree anurse.
I happen to think the extended family is extremely important both maternal and paternal and frankly find it odd that you have so little empathy that you don’t understand how painful this is for me.

Hi everyone, thanks for all the replies.

Yes basically told no visitors until further notice but I’m not just a visitor I’m granny.
As I said I understand that she wants her family around her, I know I did but I made sure my husband’s family were made welcome and involved from the beginning.

As the mother of daughters, I feel for you HappyGran. Often (not in our family thankfully) the new father’s extended family can often seem like ‘second division’ players. It must seem awful.

Personally I think 3 weeks without being given an opportunity to peep at the new baba is mean. I hope you meet him very soon.

I think new mummy is being too precious. Sorry.
??

1. It sounds as if she is having difficulty and she's still adjusting and recovering.

2. You don't need to "bond" with the baby. His parents need to do that. Just because you don't see him for a few weeks does not mean you will never bond with him.

3. How much time her family is over there is, frankly, none of your business. How many times did your children tell you "But so-and-so is allowed to get/have/wear/eat x! Why can't I?" What was your response then? Do you realize this is exactly how you sound right now?

Can't you just ask if you can visit for an hour to see the baby? I'm not sure what the problem is here. Have they actually told you not to call?

Oh no I wouldn’t ask you ds to bring baby round without his mother, that could open a can of worms, I would just be patient and wait

Please don’t try to separate mother and baby, especially not at this stage. That will win you no favours.

I hope you are invited over soon.

dont suggest your son bring the baby round to your house without its mother; that is a non=starter and could go down badly.
you'll just have to wait. this is not an unusual scenario. don't shew any annoyance or impatience as it could come across as entitlement, and that could alienate them entirely.

Have y been specifically told not to call around or just not received an invitation?

What a shame. You must be feeling very sad and rejected. Most new families love to show off their new baby so I am wondering what is wrong here.
Can you not have a quiet word with your son and say you would love to meet the new baby but you do understand how tired dil must be, so would it be possible to drop in for half an hour just to see how gorgeous he is.

Sounds very hard, but anything you say or do will go against you.

Luckygirl is right, when things settle down, they’ll appreciate your patience.

You never know, she may be sick of her mother being there everyday.

Could your son bring baby to you? It will give mum a break and you will get the baby to yourself.

Hold back now and be patient and you will reap the rewards later on as she will be kindly disposed to you for tactfully biding your time - I know it is hard.