Still not met three week old grandson.

I think you should follow Chewbacca's advice OutsideDave and "get a grip".

And that suggestion is cruel. I don’t understand why you claim first that there is no separation, then that the child would be separated but it doesn’t really matter. And the unnecessary separation would be avoided if DIL just gave in and let her ils into her home because we all know you don’t care about DIL. Because newborns are well known for their grasp of object permanence I’m sure it will be totally comfortable with being removed from its entire universe to again, please extended family.

you seem to be deliberately ignoring the folks suggesting that the baby be taken from mom to go visit the ils

What's wrong with that OutsideDave? You make it sound as though the child will be ripped from its mother's arms and sold I to the slave trade for eternity. It's a visit to grannie's house fgs! Get a grip!

Yep! A baby should bring joy ; not all this angst.

No OutsideDave I am not ignoring posters who have suggested that the OP's son take his baby to see his parents, the baby's paternal GP's who live just a short distance away but that is not separating a mother from her new born child.

What's wrong with the suggestion? If the OP's d.i.l. wouldn't be happy with that and yes, I can understand why she might not be, all she has to do is allow her p's.i.l. to see their GC.

A GP's first cuddle with their GC is all important; why the snide comment?

That would be lovely wouldn't it MissA

I too think HappyGran has forgotten this thread.

No update from happygran yet, I see.
That baby is going to be smiling by the time she meets him, and i'll bet he saves his biggest smile yet for her.

smileless you seem to be deliberately ignoring the folks suggesting that the baby be taken from mom to go visit the ils so they can get their all important ‘cuddle’. Who have accused dil of being cruel for refusing to allow said cuddle.

. Gillybob.

Bathsheba don’t go, there are lots of lovely people and threads here on GN.

As my mother would say, empty vessels make a lot of noise!

Bathsheba please don't go. Smileless is right.

Oh sugar .... now you say that SueDonim . I’m so gullible...

Exactly Smileless ! Don’t give up Bathsheba . Gransnet needs good people like you .

I didn’t really do that, Gillybob but it makes a good story.

Don't "throw towel in" Bathsheba GN needs fair minded, reasonable and well intentioned posters. We can only hope that the OP ignores the unpleasant responses and takes comfort from those of us who are trying to be supportive and understanding.

Me too Gillybob
Popped back in to see if any news from OP but just seems to be a few ridiculous comments instead!

I haven't commented on this thread until now, but have read it from the beginning. With increasing horror. I am utterly appalled at how the OP, who comes across as a lovely lady, has been so viciously harangued and torn to shreds by certain posters.

I am really saddened that GN seems to be attracting an element of deeply unpleasant, hard-nosed people who seem to want only to push their personal agenda, derailing threads to the point where the OP disappears, never to return. I cannot imagine how she must be feeling to read all the vitriol on here, but I for one feel desperately sorry for her.

Gransnet is not what it once was, and to be perfectly frank right now I feel like throwing the towel in. This thread is only the latest in a long line of threads which have turned nasty, mostly due to the usual suspects. I don't really want to be associated with the site any longer.

Gillybob

Same here! And they know I will!

Just what my DS and DDiL would say SueDonim ..... and if I can (like most other grandma’s) I do !

Gillybob

Also if It’s not to share opinions and perspectives in order to support each other, which are born from our individual experiences, What is the point of an Internet forum?

Hithere said <<< What did you reply to your kids when they were asking for a toy another kid had? >>>

I told them to go and ask grandma to buy it for them.

I'm absolutely sure OP hasn't come back because the problem is resolved now and she has forgotten all about the wait after the meeting. Same way we decide 9 months of however rubbish the pregnancy and birth was, was worth it when we hold a lovely newborn x

I was just trying to reassure the op that there may be very good reasons and that as hard as it is for her it’s unavoidable. The criticism of dil on here makes me really sad and there is a theme of dil and son being totally unreasonable. Only trying to point out they may Not be unreasonable at all. I hope my mil doesn’t talk about me like this when she disagrees with a decision me and her son have made.

I told them they had to wait at least 4 weeks, maybe longer as I hadn't made my mind up.

For goodness sake what does children wanting what their friends have, have to do with a GM wanting to see her GC for the first time?

gillybob Or the 3rd scenario

Brilliant!