Still not met three week old grandson.

I think it is rude of your son and dil not to have had you to see the baby. A quick visit within the first day or so to meet him would not have hurt. It would not have to be a long one or one that was repeated regularly but in 3 weeks there surely would have been some times that you could have been asked to pop in for a short time. Particularly as you live close by.
Having said that I don't think not seeing him at this stage will impact on you bonding with him. That may come later.

Oh come on - phone them and say when can we come over? Or "we are on our way"
. Bring flowers and chocs or whatever and don't stay too long.

The longer this is left, the worse it will become. Health professionals have seen the baby.The other grans have seen the baby. What is so scary about you? Is there are problem with the baby they don't want to tell you?

When my DS3 was born at home, everyone and his friend was being allowed in to see the baby. I had to put a stop to it and negotiate visiting times.

The inlaws arrived with a roast chicken and a bottle of champagne on about day 2 or 3. My own DM was far away but I'm sure we saw her as soon as we could.

Puppies? surgery?
I’m outta here. G’ night. ?

Sweet dreams.

Well, if one of my children was being treated unfairly and told me about it, I’d have made sure fairness was restored.

What did you do, agnurse?

Good night happygran1964

Sorry you have had some rubbish replies to your thread.

It's your posts that aren't "FAAAAAAAIR" agnurse and why on earth are you going on about surgery?

I'm glad your son has sent a video of your GS sleeping Happygran, Hopefully it wont be long now until you get your first cuddle.

A great post Newmom reasonable and full of common sense, two things that are missing in some of the responses on here. Good luck with your pregnancy.

Thank you Scentia.
The nice replies were lovely though. Slept tight. X

MissAdventure
Thank you for your support. Xx

As analogies go agnurse, that has to be one of the weirdest I've ever seen

Had the paternal grandparents had a brief visit to see the baby say hello and congratulate the mum and dad I would say nothing to a three or four week break to bond as a new family, get over teething problems etc and I don’t think Happygran would either she sounds a reasonable lady but it’s not normal to keep them away for so long and pretty mean and unnecessary and yes I know all about stitches, mastitis, difficult feeders, colic and all but I wouldn’t dream of not letting the grandparents have a visit however brief ...it’s selfish
Glad you ve at least had the nice video let’s hope it’s very soon a cuddle
Take no notice of some posters rather cruel replies

I now am very confused, what happened while I was away from the thread watching White House Farm?!

you don't sound very respectful of the parents' wishes.
maybe that's why they are not keen on a visit.
remember you have no rights in this situation; if you cannot comport yourself in a way they find acceptable, they may not let you have contact with the child, because maybe they find you hard work.
I am not taking sides here but merely pointing out the reality.
however much you think it is unfair is irrelevant. there is no court to which you can appeal with these claims of unfairness.
so you will have to restrain yourself in order to have any contact at all.
you seem to regard it as a right. but they are the child's parents, and they make the decisions.
you do not have a right, it is a favour which they may or may not extend to you.
if you have an entitled attitude they will not want you around, causing a tense atmosphere.
you have to accept the reality. you need them if you want to see the child.
they do not need you. they have what they need, their child.

Who’s had surgery and given birth to a puppy ! . Just ridiculous.

Why did agnurse's puppy need surgery? Is it ok? What a shame! Poor little thing. Wishing it a speedy recovery very soon agnurse.

In the end it all comes down to whether or not your daughter in law is kind enough to realise that of course you’re longing to see the baby, and just putting her happy face on for half an hour, she only has to sit there, I’m sure nothing more will be expected from her.

I find the whole situation a bit strange, if I was her mother I think I would definitely have tried to persuade her to invite you over for a brief visit, sorry, but they don’t seem like very nice people to me.

That's quite a nasty post welbeck, and you're jumping to a lot of conclusions about the op that are not backed up by anything she's posted.

In fact it's a post that says more about you than the person you're criticising.

I agree Sara65, surely by now the dil's mother should be feeling very awkward about the whole thing.

Katyj, you've just made me choke on my coffee!

Some of the posts on here have got to be wind-ups! So ridiculous, they are hilarious!

Happygran1964, you'll learn to spot them after a while, they spout the same old nonsense on various posts, and some of them seem to be in cahoots together. You'll learn to spot them, just ignore them.

I must say that if agnurse is a real nurse and routinely refers to childbirth as major surgery, then I really don't think much of her training if that's what she's been taught. Hopefully, none of us will have the need for her nursing skills!

I think, what a lot of posters on here seem to forget (those who I assume have popped over from mumsnet), is that the majority of us on the Gransnet community are indeed mothers ourselves (many of us, not particularly 'old'), and we have all experienced the trials and tribulations of pregnancy, labour, childbirth and recovery. It is not something that is new to them. And often, when wanting advice, having had first hand experience, is far more beneficial than any information you can find in a book/online, and even from a medical professional who has never experienced any of the above.

Sorry, I've gone a little of topic there. But, Happygran64, I really feel for you, and think it's totally selfish that you've not even been allowed so much as a quick peek of your new GC! It's total codswallop that in 3 weeks, your DiL has not been able to allow this. But, sadly, I think you're just going to have to ride it out and hope that she comes around soon to arrange for you to visit. Frankly, if it were me, next time I spoke to my son, after asking how mum & baby are doing, I'd have to say something along the lines that his dad & I can't wait to meet our new GC, and we hope he's not wearing long trousers by then!

And, finally, regarding the vile comment somewhere upthread about paternal grandparents. One day, if you have a son of your own, it may come back to bite you in the bum! Unless, of course, you are the unfeeling, uncaring kind of individual that you come across as.

Happy gran, Why don't you just ring at a time when your son is there and ask to just so speak to your dil if she is free, if you speak ask how they both are and end the conversation by saying how excited you both are and look forward to seeing baby when she's up to it and anything you can do to help you would be pleased to, if she can't speak send your love to her and the baby via your don saying the same to him. I can understand how left out you feel, I would, but you don't know the ins and outs and patience will pay off.
Agnurse, once again an unpleasant unsympathetic reply, do you have no idea of people's feelings if they are not your own. To say it's non of her business's, well really. She wasn't making it her business,
Well beck, what a lot of assumptions, the poster is a proud grandmother, not a stranger she hasn't pushed herself, just wants to see her first grandchild as anyone would.
?

those who I assume have popped over from mumsnet

Excuse me?! I ‘popped over’ from MN - please don’t tar us all with the same brush

DIL17 Be useful instead of falling into the paternal granny trap of only giving a thought to yourself

All I can say say is that I’m very glad you’re not my DiL.
What a nasty, unjustified and prejudiced comment to make.
Are you like that in real life or is that just your online persona talking?

This is Am I being unreasonable right? So people should be allowed to say what they think without others completely ruining the post! If agnurse wants to know if she unreasonable she will start a post x

Wow I even know who are the trolls on here
OP I am also the parental mum
We don't see our grandson anywhere near as much as my Dil parents
We are ok with that
However we met (not held ) our grandson at the same time as her parents aka within an hour of him being born (we were rung and asked to come over )
We held him five days later
Like you we just wanted to meet him
I can totally sympathise with you and very much agree it is so sad you can't just meet the latest addition to the family
I hope you are able to see the grandbaby soon

SirChenjin, sorry, I didn't phrase that very well did I?! I know you're not all the same, thankfully! They know who they are!
Please accept my apologies.