AIBU not to want to look after one year old while parents are abroad for 4 d.

GagaJo ?

Not I just think its a big ask on BOTH the child AND the babysitter.

Fine to be overnight babysat if Im near by and its all fine. But I could go and "abort" the situation if child became ill or unsettled or a tooth acted up etc.

Once youre overseas you cant just change your plans and pick up the kid if they cant settle/get a fever/teethe

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all, Four days is a long time in a toddlers world, you need to get all the facts and then make up your mind, if you are willing to do this, they need to start in preparation for you to do this, you seem a lovely grandmother who likes to help out , good luck to you whatever you decide to do,

Also I just wouldnt want to push my luck. I was grateful for my babysitters and wouldnt want to put them off by asking them to bite off more than they could chew IYKWIM.

So if it was sonething that involved travel meaning a couple of days away we took them and tag-teamed. Keeping our evening babysitters sweet! Days on end is a BIG big ask.

Or didnt go. Ive turned down wedding invites: still friends!

Thank for the advice folks! I do think its a big ask, especially as he's not settled well in nursery, and seems to have caught every bug going whilst there. Will have a serious discussion about it this week. Its not Spain, but not far from it!

I think it’s much too big an ask too distressing for the child and exhausting for you. I wouldn’t do it.

Some times parents just have to accept that they have to miss things in life. Tell them to turn the wedding invitation down or just one of them go.

We travelled to Spain with my DD andSIL so they could attend a friends wedding. GS was only 4 months old. Worked well as we got to spend time with him and enjoy a weeks holiday. My DD paid for our flights and the villa.
This year we are having same grandson now 2 years whilst they travel to Italy for a wedding. Luckily GS in nursery for two of the days so at least we get some ‘down’ time. The new GS of 7 months will be staying with other realatives as I’m not sure I’d cope with them both. ??

When did all this malarkey become the new normal anyway? Yes, I get the occasional overnighter so the parents can party but mini holidays, really?

Some times parents just have to accept that they have to miss things in life.
Yup.

Totally agree quizqueen I was just going to post the same thing.

Quite apart from anything else, I think I’d decline simply because looking after a one year old for that length of time would be exhausting - for me anyway, since I’m an older granny.
I’ve had Gdcs for 3 or 4 nights while their parents went to a wedding abroad, but they were 3 and 4 and therefore easier, didn’t need watching every second.
Still knackering, though!

I've just read OP again, I thought that he stayed overnight one night a week but realise now, only until 6pm.
So, he's got 3 months to stop breastfeeding, stop co-sleeping with his Mother while getting used to Nursery and then left with you for 4 nights, where he has never slept before.
I can see where you're coming from regarding being worried about how it will 'pan out '.
I was going to say, just go for it and muddle through, exhausted but it's not just about you, it sounds as though this baby is going to be very unsettled being left for this amount of time, so it's not fair on him.
So, the only way that I would do this, is to go away with them and look after the baby for the day of the Wedding and make a little holiday of it.
If no flights or accommodation have been booked, you could share a villa or if it's hotel, just book another room.
Let us know what you decide after your discussion this week.

I am horrified that your DD is even considering going abroad without a young toddler. Neither of my DDs would ever do that! Older 2 DGC have stayed overnight at mine but together and youngest was about 2 and was only for 1 night - Mum and Dad were having a meal out.
Going with them sounds like a good alternative though. Also if he is so upset at nursery why don't they try a different one or a childminder instead. I feel heartbroken for the baby and could not bear to think of one of my DGC crying a lot of the time at nursery.

Yanbu

Can they go to wedding and get a sitter there?

Having kids means making choices and not being able to do what you used to do prebaby

I look after my 2yo GD regularly and have looked after her overnight a couple of times but there’s no way I’d want to have her for four nights. By the next morning, she’s always so happy to have her mummy back, even though she doesn’t seem distressed while with us.

I’d also question whether your DD really wants to be away from her baby for that length of time. I suspect she might find that after one night she’s missing him badly and won’t enjoy the rest of her trip.

If your DD is co-sleeping and breastfeeding I don’t think there’s any way she’s going to be happy leaving her first born for four days (and three nights?). She’ll miss him just as much as he’ll miss her. Are you sure she’s not secretly hoping you’ll say no?

It will be hard work for you and possibly your having to co-sleep too. Unless you’re used to it you’re going to be exhausted!

I looked after GS when he was 6 months old with GD, she was 18 months old , when my DD went to a wedding across the other side of the world, I loved it but the nights were very hard, DH had to take a day off half way through the first week as I was exhausted.
this was 14 years ago when I was much younger. If you are going to do it make sure that he is not being fed at night.
Better still, have him for a whole weekend (2nights) and see how it works out, it might mean that your DD has to cancel her trip at the last moment. But if it distresses your GC it could have repercussions when they return, he might not want to be left with you alone for some considerable time.

Well I had a 14 month old for 10 days when my daughter and so. In law went on a belated ‘honeymoon’ to Cuba and all was fine in fact we had a ball even though she was poorly for a few days
It’s all personal to you but I wouldn’t think twice to help out My parents helped me why would I not help my children
I don’t share your horror elaine I don’t understand why you would fine it so horrific to ask your mum or mum and dad to have your child I wouldn’t have had it any other way

I do think the breast feeding time is a 'put up and suck it up' time for mums in particular. Unless they are great pumpers. In which case, lots of preparation by mum and large freezer stocks of breast milk. But a year old, getting on for 1 1/2 by the holiday time, is plenty old enough for weaning.

I see nothing wrong with leaving children with grandparents. We used to spend weeks on end with my grandparents when I was young and that was 50 years ago. It's certainly not a new thing.

I don't think you're being unreasonable vegansrock. There's no way IMO you could even consider doing so while your GC co sleeps with mum even without breast feeding during the night.

If your D's going to stop that she'd need to be getting on with it pretty quickly so your GC is used too and settled with his/her new routine sometime before being left with you.

As others have suggested, a couple of 'trial runs' before hand would be the way to go if you are thinking about going ahead.

I think it's a big ask on two counts, firstly the bride and groom marrying abroad and expecting their guests to make child care arrangements for baby/child/children for what might be as long as four days. I think if you marry abroad, you must expect that some guests will decline the invitation, it's quite a big ask really just from the expense side. It depends on how old and robust the grandparents are, a few days of childcare for a baby/toddler can be incredibly tiring. We have ours overnight fairly frequently now they are children, maybe the odd night when they were babies, certainly not 4 nights on the trot. A very big ask and your anxiety, not unreasonably, is palpable from your post.

It's a minefield really, grandparents are expected these days to play a large part in child care, some are really happy to do that but some feel put upon, you are doing quite a lot already OP. I agree with notanan about the parents "pushing their luck and appreciating what you do already" and as quizqueen has succinctly pointed out when you are a parent "you can't just do want you want anymore" sacrifices do have to be made. I remember having to cancel a birthday week-end away when one of our children fell off a climbing frame at school, we were told on his head, and having taken him to the doctor her advice was, it would be advisable to be on hand over the next couple of days, as it happened he was perfectly fine. That's life though! goes with the territory of being a parent I'd say.

Tricky one.But I generally think if my gut instinct for something is no there's a reason for it.We had our little DGD for a full weekend when she was slightly older,properly weaned and had already stayed overnight regularly when DD went back to work.Plus the parents only went to the Lake District.
Maybe me but DH and I have had way too many badly delayed flights,and I now never expect to arrive home on time !So 4 days abroad is a big ask in the circumstances you've described.I rarely say no to our DD re babysitting,and I'm sure you wouldn't. But they are so lucky you help out,and do so much with GCs,and will gor them in the future.