AIBU not to want to look after one year old while parents are abroad for 4 d.

Good Luck! I don't think they have thought this through properly. A wedding abroad is not the most important thing to get to IMO.

Sometimes people are quite glad of an excuse to pull out.
4 days and nights is a long time, especially as the parents will be out of the country.
My DGD became very sick on her first sleepover with us aged 10 months and had to go to hospital.
It would be no from me. Unless of course they take you with them as babysitter?

Ynabu to be concerned. You would be unreasonable to set conditions (must be weaned, etc) but I don’t disagree it will likely be difficult and unpleasant for baby and for you. I would go along if they will cover your expenses and babysit while they attend the wedding.

vegansrock I think you have to do what you feel is right for you. Some in your situation would think it fine, others, not so much. Stopping breastfeeding /co-sleeping should not be determined by a social event IMO. Would you feel inclined to have a trial run for a couple of nights? FWIW, my DD1 has to do a 1 week residential school trip each year and has left older babies with Dad or me and resumed the breastfeeding when she got back. Obviously expressing while she was away, but not all that often. In your heart you will know what's the right thing for you.

If you agree I would have him overnight before hand so that you can see how he goes. However it doesn't seem that his needs are being put first.

There are no absolute answers and only you can decide.
I certainly think there needs to be a conversation as soon as possible about breastfeeding and co- sleeping.

I would suggest you ask if they will pay for you to go as well so you can babysit during the wedding.

There is nothing wrong with grandparents babysitting, if they are in good health and are willing to do so..
I looked after my granddaughter for several days and nights each summer whilst her parents were working.
My mum offered to have my daughter for a week when I was heavily pregnant with my son.
Both times it was no trouble, good fun, in fact.
But you have to want to do it, not be coerced.

YANBU. You aren't obligated to baby-sit. If you feel it would be too difficult given the situation, you would be well within your rights to say no. They can take the child with and have someone watch him wherever they are staying, or one can stay with him.

I think a slightly older child would be absolutely fine, but he is still a baby, old enough to be aware but not old enough to have any concept of time.

vegansrock, perhaps you could have an overnight trial run before deciding.
But going with them seems to be a really good idea.

Maybe it depends on life experience. When I was 18 mths I went to live with my grandparents as my mum was expecting twins. I loved it and my grandparents. After that we all went to stay with both sets of grandparents off and on throughout our childhood.
In turn, my MiL had our two to stay for overnights and holidays. All much enjoyed by children and MiL. With that experience it never crosses my mind to say no to my DD when she asks if we'd have the DGSs to stay. Yes it's hard work but, remembering the quality of the two way relationships forged in this way I really value the opportunity to take my turn. It's what the Grans throughout the generations have done.

Perhaps that's true, for various reasons neither of our mums could, although I know mine would have done had she been able.

TBH I would not have wanted to go abroad for 4 days and leave my first child at that age.

Exactly Jane10. I think that's why I'm so whole heartedly involved with my grandson. My paternal grandparents adored their grandchildren and although my granny has been dead for over 40 years, I STILL have fantastic memories of her. And I want the same for my grandson.

I'm trying to persuade my daughter to have a weeks holiday and leave darling boy (1 1/2) with me. We'd have a FANTASTIC time.

totally up to how you feel. That said I have had my dgd for 2 or 3 days a few times from a similar age and absolutely loved it and would have loved to have the chance to do the same with the DGC who live in Sydney. I count myself privileged to be trusted ! However I’d say off the co sleeping and breastfeeding is quite essential

Four nights sounds like a long time for a one year old.

Maybe a practice run of one night to see how that goes?

I would be concerned. I used to have one of my granddaughters to stay for many days at a time but one time something in her wanted her mum more than anything.
I had to get a friend to drive us the long journey back to mum because she was inconsolable.
It didn't affect any visits after that. Not at all just that one time.

I would be nervous to be honest as mum will out of the country.
I would try it for one night and see how that goes and then decide.

I am sorry I am not sure are you saying that he sleeps a night with you?

Vegansrock the fact that you're asking on here for our opinions indicates to me that you're not happy about the idea and you have misgivings, and that in itself is a good enough reason to say no.
It doesn't mean as some have implied that there's anything lacking in your love for your DD or your DGS or your relationship with them, and if you were a 'normal' grandparent, you'd be jumping at the chance.

Given DGS's anxiety around nursery, his age, and the fact he's still breast-fed and co-sleeps, 4 days is too long, for DGS, for you, and for DD.

Personally I would offer to go with them and pay my own way, so that it wouldn't seem as though I was holding them to ransom, if you see what I mean.

I would not want to do it. I would not want the responsibility and it sets a precedence. If you say yes this time what reason would there be to say no in the future.

vegansrock, the fact you've asked for opinions here confirms you aren't entirely at ease with what you've been asked to do. I see you have 7 grandchildren and I don't see how that can't be a factor. We have six and trying to be fair about how often the children stay whilst parents are off at weddings, parties, Christenings as well as child minding when they're at work, can be a balancing act.
Can you go to the hotel they're staying in? That way you get a bit of fun in the sun with your grandchild and the little one gets to spend time with his parents as well as special time with you. They should offer to pay your costs but maybe you can negotiate on that or maybe its something you can just do, so they can't feel put on the spot,

If this is their first baby, they may not realise how much you are involved with your other grandchildren. It's a big ask but that's what families do xx

My comments made in 11.04 posting still stand. Doesn't look like the OP wants to do it.
I didn't mean to imply a lack of love in my other posts just that it would be an instinctive yes from me. I wouldn't have to think about it.
Honesty is the best policy. Discuss it with the child's parents.

There are always going to be different opinions on how feasible the plan is, and that will depend on the various experiences of people replying on the thread Vegansrock. I feel that the bottom line is whether or not you feel that you are able to do it and that you want to do it. For what it's worth I have had my dgc many times overnight and sometimes for 2 nights. I have always found that while they love being here and never ask 'when is mum coming' they are really pleased to see her when they've stayed two nights so personally that would be my limit.

I do think, as a previous poster touched upon, that sometimes some gps are reluctant to draw the line at where they feel comfortable regarding childminding in case of causing offence. If you don't feel that you can comfortable cope with 4 nights I would tell them rather than struggle with something you don't really feel up to.

I think I would offer to go with them. They will need to organise accommodation anyway so I think, if I could afford it I would offer to pay my own 'plane fare if they paid for an apartment/villa big enough for all of you. That way the anxiety of overnight with breast feeding would be avoided, you would have adult company until they set off for the wedding and maybe a whole family day for all of you fitted in. Good luck with what you decide

My DGC have lovely memories of my DM too GagaJo, even though she was physically unable to look after them by herself.

A distressed child left with a stressed grandmother for four days and nights is not likely to make lovely memories.

I think each person knows their limits and want the best for their DGC within those limits.

I have looked after mine but not for that length of time especially for the first time.

Sorry, my DC have lovely memories of my DM.

I totally agree Callistemon. Its nice when GCs can be comfortable at GPs house but to HAVE to stay for the best part of a week no matter what, because both parents are abroad, could run the risk of making OP "bad cop" rather than her house being an exciting treat for shorter sleepovers.

Fine if it was for a funeral or work. But it is just a wedding. And they both dont have to go/dont have to go for so long etc

don't do it.

YANBU. 4 Days is a long time. If the child was fretting you couldn't unite her with her parents if they are in another country.
I would be worried leaving my child for that length of time at such a young age in case they missed me.
Of course it's lovely having gc to stay but I don't think 4 days is a good idea yet.
Being practical it could be extremely tiring. And you need to ask about feeding. Also your fears about future visits are valid.

If able to postpone all other commitments for the 4 days, you could consider doing it on the condition that you and your grandson are both happy after 2 trial runs eg. One of 2 days and another of 3 days. I looked after my grandson at roughly the same age. I like a challenge! Mum had left bags of expressed milk in the freezer and he slept with me at his home. Naturally he missed Mummy and Daddy but I managed to keep him happy. However do say "No" if you are not 100% happy to proceed. You must not feel " pushed in" to doing something you don't want to.