Gransnet forums


AIBU to be fed up with some posters who cannot accept others have different opinions?

(168 Posts)
aprilrose Mon 24-Feb-20 06:06:39

I am about to go to work so dont expect me back soon.

However, I have to ask - is it unreasonable to get fed up with some posters who seem to feel that they have to have the last word on anything and everything? Who constantly need to preach some political or social agenda, no matter what the topic? Who cannot accept others do not necessarily care about the things they care about and feel the need to "educate" you into sharing ( or at least expressing their views out of fear)?

Surely we are all old enough to recognise we have differences and we do not all share one brain cell, one life experience and one set of opinions on things?

I would love to just be able to declare my views sometimes and not have to meet with the "shock and horror" of others who think I am being too hard, or not caring for the rest of society . I am not sharing their views or their bigger picture.

Why cant we have our own views, listen to others, realise some may have different views and opinions and accept that? I dont mind a debate any time but to throw rude words , phrases and comments like " you are uneducated, you are stupid , you are an idiot and to belittle people I feel goes too far. Am I over reacting? Maybe I should just give up GN?

GagaJo Mon 24-Feb-20 08:41:20

Suzie, but we can keep that for the posts where she is disagreeing wildly.

We can all be reformed OR make an effort.

If a kid at school has been an a**e and genuinely apologises, as far as I'm concerned, that is it, over and done. Move on. Life's easier that way.

Teetime Mon 24-Feb-20 08:44:20

Civilised reasoned debate is a good thing but I too have been put off Gransnet even though I have been here from the early days. I juts disappear when it all gets nasty and preachy. I come back every now and then because there are some very nice people on here.

Riverwalk Mon 24-Feb-20 08:45:10

Maybe I should just give up GN?

Oh, give over you're hardly a delicate wallflower who's being got at!

I always give a little chuckle when a poster asks this - it's entirely up to you, your choice.

annep1 Mon 24-Feb-20 09:02:17

Oh dear, I didn't get the context either.😕

suziewoozie Mon 24-Feb-20 09:33:59

I think there are clear ‘rules’ for behaviour on certain threads such as Bereavement and Relationships and it seems they are very rarely breached. There are other threads where it’s irrelevant such as the Games threads. There are threads that, whilst I looked at when I first joined, are not for me in the sense that they are not what I joined for? They meet an important need for people and are clearly an important support for some. I wouldn’t dream of going on them and making sarcastic or sneery comments. There are threads where people want factual information - I’m astonished at how often posters offer incorrect information on these threads without bothering to check. When I post on these threads my information is verified -I point out the mistakes. I have to say I think it’s very irresponsible to give false information on threads like this - I’ve seen posters getting upset when tge facts with a link is all that is needed.

And finally, there’s the political threads which is what this is really all about. As vegan says there are a variety of ways in which people are not particularly nice on these threads. Tge other day , for once, we had an amusing lighthearted politics thread. People across the board joined in and then aprilrose came on and was very critical of our fun because we were being childish. Then another example, I started a thread on the H of Lords following the report on its increase in spending. Within a few threads, a right winger comes on with a snide comment about my having nothing better to worry about accompanied by the sad face. That type of comment is not uncommon on political threads but often passes under the radar of being judged rude and insulting ( which in fact is).

annodomini Mon 24-Feb-20 09:43:20

I've been around long enough to know that I will never change the views of anyone who radically disagrees with me, so I don't bother with political or religious threads. What would be the point of starting a hare? As a local politician, I was pretty good at finding and establishing the middle ground, but from what I can gather from occasional forays into political threads, there doesn't seem to be a middle ground on Gransnet.

Callistemon Mon 24-Feb-20 10:01:01

Wise words

Deep breath and count to ten
Or, as in a book I am reading, say
Jabberwocky, Jabberwocky, Jabberwocky under your breath and keep quiet!

dizzyblonde Mon 24-Feb-20 10:03:26

I believe that you will never be able to change someone’s views if you are rude. By all means point out total inaccuracies but do not hurl insults. You just make people more entrenched.

Callistemon Mon 24-Feb-20 10:03:43

annodomini you're right and those who want to take the middle ground are accused of either being to the extreme left or, more often, the extreme right and pushed into the gutter!!

When you're in the gutter, some of us look up at the stars
And realise how insignificant this all is.

GagaJo Mon 24-Feb-20 10:05:25

Good old Oscar.

H1954 Mon 24-Feb-20 10:05:37

You are spot on aprilrose! Some seem to think GN is their personal platform to belittle, criticise and generally berate others!

Yes, we all have a different point of view, it's what makes us individuals but why do folk have to be rude and cruel?????

Callistemon Mon 24-Feb-20 10:09:31

GagaJo grin

And Peppa Pig wink

Witzend Mon 24-Feb-20 10:10:48

Some people do just enjoy an argument. And I suspect that there are a just a few whose reasons for joining forums include the ability to have a safe, anonymous go at other people.

I’m reminded of that little cartoon - wish I could post it here! of someone bent over a screen, someone else saying ‘Aren’t you coming to bed?’
‘I can’t! Someone is wrong on the internet!’

GagaJo Mon 24-Feb-20 10:10:53

Hahahaha, Gruffalo in our house.

suziewoozie Mon 24-Feb-20 10:11:07

The agenda of the OP is nothing to do with opinions - it’s about posting opinions based on totally false information. It’s not a valid opinion that today is Tuesday <sigh>

vegansrock Mon 24-Feb-20 10:17:56

But we aren't talking of belittling or berating are we - we are talking about posing an alternate viewpoint and maybe calling out offensive remarks- when the offensive remark might be someones "view". So what the OP wants is to say something which others find offensive but not be challenged because its her "view".

Callistemon Mon 24-Feb-20 10:23:51

It is Tuesday somewhere in the world.

suziewoozie Mon 24-Feb-20 10:24:55

The OP wants to be able to post false information and not be corrected - it’s not an opinion who BJ’s great grandfather was, it’s a fact

suziewoozie Mon 24-Feb-20 10:25:40

Haha Call but do miss the main point

GrannyGravy13 Mon 24-Feb-20 10:27:14

Basically we are all entitled to our opinions however they are formed.

If we post something as factual we should be able to back it up, as so many people on GN and elsewhere are dubious about the legitimacy of all and sundry nowadays.

I have been told that I have got what I believed to be a fact wrong, and after rechecking gone back to a thread and gave my source, and had to apologise as the source was questionable.

I try always to be polite and respectful on line as I am polite and respectful in the real world.

kittylester Mon 24-Feb-20 10:31:52

There is still no need for personal insults!

GrannyGravy13 Mon 24-Feb-20 10:32:46

Totally agree kittylester

suziewoozie Mon 24-Feb-20 10:32:57

Exactly GG and instead of doing that ( two instances) she started this thread. And then people piled in who knew nothing of what her agenda was

Missfoodlove Mon 24-Feb-20 10:34:46

One of my posts prompted a nasty and uncalled for response.
It really upset me.
I see it as a complete lack of intelligence to resort to insults.

The political threads leading up to the election were vicious.
I suggested on a thread that some of the posters were new and political plants.
Lots of protestations.
Funny that at least one prolific poster suddenly stopped post the election!

My daughter told me that it had been a political ploy for members of certain parties to infiltrate forums to try and sway opinion.

I try to stay away from the political threads and avoid responding to certain posters who behave like the playground bullies.

Such a shame people can be so infantile.

suziewoozie Mon 24-Feb-20 10:35:18

Well if that’s what april believes * kitty* she could lead by example rather than play the victim.