Love and life in lock down without booz?

One way to look at the issue is in terms of cost. One bottle of wine a day at, say £6.99 for something pretty undistinguished, comes out almost £50 a week. That alone would restrict my intake!

So OP used to live with Mum who was a heavy drinker (February this year)and has now moved in with a man who thinks she drinks too much too.
This sounds like an unhappy situation all round. I think OP needs help with her drinking habit and with her relationship. As a grandmother herself this is no example to show her grandchild(ren) surely she can see this is leading nowhere?

Why on earth would anyone presume it's another person 'in disguise'?
From a few paragraphs.

It's hardly unheard of for people to be heavy drinkers.

Why do people get their kicks from this silly attention seeking behaviour?
Although I thought it was a bit odd, I took the time to read the post a couple of times and mulled it over, I wanted to give an honest but kind response.

I think if this is the case then the poster needs some professional help.
Now.

He has lived with an alcoholic and doesn’t want to do it again.

Hmmmm wondered why there was no response from the OP

I can't help but notice writing (and replying in blocks) style - despite the deliberate (after initial) neglecting to use full stops, yet including exclamation marks, in the post - sorry!

Yes I thought that was Naty. Last I heard she’d gone back to Canada with baby as it was safer whilst this virus is about.

I am also confused with the naty's comment

As for dortie, this is another issue that makes sense in the long term pattern painted in your background thread.

Hi Hetty58, I thought Naty was the Canadian person with a husband and baby, living in Italy, with the Grandparents living close by and her Mil being intrusive.

Well, that's funny dortie145! (or is it 'Naty')

In February, you lived with your Mum (who, allegedly, drank half a bottle of whisky a day) and constantly rowed.

You said then:

'We both drink too much, probably because we are unhappy.'

You do get around a lot, don't you!

I really do think you have a problem, and so does your partner.
Did he no how much you drunk before you moved in with him?
Re.the previous partner who was a alcoholic.

In the early days off a relationship as you probably know it’s all moonlight and roses.
But to move in after 6weeks...what was you thinking.
Yes I no this lockdown has put a strain on a lot of people,financially and emotionally.
It’s none of my business what you spend your money on but how much is a bottle of wine? £5 or more I don’t drink so wouldn’t no. I use to in my 20’s 30’s
Anyway I’ll let you work the maths on that!

How about doing something else at 5pm? It sounds like your both clock watching until then

If your happy the way you are move out,and perhaps get outside help.
But like any addiction you have to WANT to give up.

dortie145, It comes down to what you love the most, the wine or the man.
If it’s the man then why not have a pact?
Try and reduce your intake together.
Have some alcohol free evenings and limit yourself to two glasses when you do drink.
I can almost guarantee you will sleep better and feel better almost immediately.

If you choose the wine then that is a great shame and you are probably on the way to having a serious problem.
It will be harder to kick it alone

I think you know the right answer, now it’s the hard bit.

It sounds as if all was magical until you started to actually get to know one and other.

Maybe you could move out and just see eachother so you can see if it's worth compromising so you have a future together?

Only having known him for 6 weeks could be the root of the problem

It's a big ask to suddenly end up living in close quarters with someone you barely know!

I'd go home if I was you

I’m not saying that your new man isn’t drinking too much as well - he is, according to the government guidelines of 14 units per week.

But 4 half pint bottles a night of 3.6% beer adds up to 4 units per night, which is well below the 10 or 12 in a bottle of wine. So if we’re just talking about who drinks most, he could be right. Of course if he’s drinking stronger beer or bigger bottles, he could be having a lot more!

Yes, OP, you have an alcohol problem.
1 bottle of wine a day is excessive - flag no. 1
You dont get drunk - flag no. 2 as you have built the tolerance

He also has an alcohol problem but it is for him to address.
You fix your own problem.

Moving in and being stuck with someone after 6 weeks was always a bit of a risk really. But I guess you knew that.

Thank goodness you have the choice to move out.

You may have less of a choice as to how much you drink, but I guess you know that as well.

Thank goodness you can choose to tackle that if you so wish once this wretched virus is stamped on.

You have lots of choices.

At 5pm every day you start a bottle of wine to keep pace with his four beers? And he complains about your bottle of wine. Sounds like a pair of alcoholics in denial.

If your bottle of wine is more important than he is, move back home. Simple.

Or you could suggest that you will halve your wine intake if he will halve his beer intake? If he refuses and still complains about your intake maybe another poster was right, and he is looking for a way out.

The first few weeks are usually the best and then some people try to change the other person.

If it goes bad are you able to go home?

I have to agree that a bottle of wine a day is way too much.
The healthy limit is 14 units per week and most bottles of wine are between 10 and 12 units, so you are drinking at the very least 70 ? units a week.
It looks like the alcohol consumption is going to be a problem with your relationship and possibly your future health.
Why not, cut the booze out completely for a few weeks and then maybe start drinking a couple of glasses every other day, keeping to the 7 glasses per week, also you could try non-alcoholic wine or beer.
Good luck, with whatever you choose to do.

I agree with Esspee that is far too much for both of you. I would also pack my bags and return home.

At present I am drinking a bottle of wine a week and I consider that well OTT for me. Your liver will be addled by now.

Both of you are drinking too much.
And I think you both should take a step back.

A bottle of wine a day! Four beers a day? Both of you are excessive drinkers so why not use this situation to dry out together. Your health and wallet will benefit.

Alcohol and Covid19 don't mix. At the best of times alcohol saps the immune system. Try the next few weeks without it or else just a glass of his beer.