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AIBU

Hubby re-opening small shop in Lockdown

(69 Posts)
skunkhair63 Mon 27-Apr-20 03:03:13

As a small family business, we can't afford to remain closed any longer. We are "allowed" to open as it's a Hardware shop. DH has held off as long as poss, but now feels the time is right to re-open (as B&Q etc have already done). We have decided that I should stay home - if he gets ill I will have to care for him, which seems a sensible move. But I have also told him we will have to self-distance at home, with designated rooms/areas for both of us, 2 metres apart at all times. I feel guilty though, and wonder if I am being "over the top". AIBU?

harrigran Mon 27-Apr-20 07:06:27

If you really must open the shop then I think you are right to isolate the best you can.
It does sound cruel to tell a spouse to keep their distance but you really don't have a choice.
Best of luck and do everything you can to stay well.

BlueBelle Mon 27-Apr-20 07:12:44

How will you manage bathrooms kitchen etc is it really possible to self isolate in the same house
How are the rest of the country with workers in the family managing I really can’t imagine how this will work

Esspee Mon 27-Apr-20 07:14:58

Not being able to have physical contact would depress me immensely.
Personally I would ensure he changed, showered and put all his clothes in the washing machine when he got home then continue life as normally as possible.
Are you extremely vulnerable?

Calendargirl Mon 27-Apr-20 07:29:42

If you’re reasonably healthy, then yes, I think it does sound over the top.
How do supermarket workers manage for example?

oldgimmer1 Mon 27-Apr-20 07:32:15

I can't see the issue with distancing at home either.

I think you are doing the right thing in opening though. Needs must.

Good luck with the business.

Ginny42 Mon 27-Apr-20 07:32:41

My SiL has to work where he deals with members of the public, so he wears a mask and gloves and keeps the required distance at all times. When he arrives home, he strips and puts everything in the washing machine, then goes in the shower. They are fortunate enough to have separate showers and plenty of room to live in what I would call semi-isolation. No hugs!

BazingaGranny Mon 27-Apr-20 08:03:21

Agree that washing all clothes etc, leave shoes outside if possible, as soon as your husband returns, would be good.

However, it is possible to stay fairly separate in many homes, Clare Gerada (GP and I think former Chair of the RCGP or similar), wrote that she successfully isolated from her husband when she had Covid19 and he didn’t. Helpful if you have two loos, otherwise lots of cleaning and organising of loo timetable, I would imagine.

Do remember that most people who get Covid19 have some symptoms, and only a small percentage of people go to hospital or worse. An ITU doctor friend said, ‘Don’t be stoic’, ie get medical help, as you need it.

Good luck with the shop, very difficult times for many small businesses. 🌺

Marydoll Mon 27-Apr-20 08:06:21

skunkhair63, good luck and stay safe. A very difficult decision for you.

Follow the advice for people who are sheilding, but have a patrner, who has to work. It explains what to do to keep safe.

Oopsadaisy3 Mon 27-Apr-20 08:11:39

Skunkhair firstly are you in a ‘risk’ group ? If not , then reasonable precautions for your DH should apply, masks, gloves etc. also he needs to protect his customers with distancing rules in the store, maybe sanitizer when they enter as well.
But if you are youngish and are fit and well, then just a total change of clothes (washed at 60 degrees, separate from your own) and a shower when he get home, with no touching door knobs etc. Until he is in the shower, then I don’t think you will need to do the distancing at home.
However if you are vulnerable, then I’m afraid it’s as you described in your OP.
If your DH is at all vulnerable then he shouldn’t be opening the store at all. A tough decision if this is so.

sodapop Mon 27-Apr-20 08:18:16

Unless you have other health problems skunkhair63 I think sensible precautions are all that's needed. Your husband can shower, change clothes etc as soon as he gets home.
Good luck.

SirChenjin Mon 27-Apr-20 08:42:38

My DD is a nurse so we’re making sure she showers, washes her uniform at 60 and washes her hands as soon as she comes in - other than that, there’s not much we can do.

I imagine your DH made sure he, his staff and customers are protected? 1 in, 1 out, screens, card payments, one way travel around the shop, spray for baskets and trolleys, hand sanitiser, that kind of thing? If so, he’s minimising the chances of spreading and catching it, which is all anyone in a shop can do.

BlueSky Mon 27-Apr-20 08:43:21

What no sex? Not a problem for us over 70 but what about the younger ones? grin

Susan56 Mon 27-Apr-20 08:49:43

My daughter and son in law are both still working on opposite shifts.They have a two year old so difficult to isolate within the house.
They have a storage box with a lid by the front door which their shoes go straight in,they were advised to just keep to the one pair of shoes.They then go straightupstairs,shower,put clothes in a pillow case in the washing machine.
Hope it all goes well with your business.Stay safe💐

skunkhair63 Mon 27-Apr-20 10:56:08

Thank you for your comments everyone. We don't have health issues - just maybe age is against us (early 60's) DH is just serving one customer at a time from the doorway, with minimal staff - a bit like Argos, the shop has become the back store room with no customers in it. We have (charmingly named) spit guards on the counter, hand sanitiser, cleaning sprays etc. Fortunately we can have separate bedrooms (one with en-suite, for him). There are now only the 2 of us at home, so will have our own designated areas (dining room for him, kitchen for me). I'm blocking off doorways as a reminder! We can sit far apart in the living room in the evenings. It just has to be done! I am also shopping for DMIL and DD's family, so can't risk myself, or things could get REALLY tricky! I so feel for all the other key workers, especially medical staff, and those with children... please let this ease up soon! Need a [praying] emoji!

SirChenjin Mon 27-Apr-20 11:57:25

If Im being honest I think you might be going a bit OTT but it’s difficult not to feel worried and anxious so I completely understand your concerns. It sounds like he’s doing everything he possibly can tbh. I noticed that Germany are now making it mandatory to wear masks in public as a precaution, so until the evidence is absolutely clear on that one he could perhaps do that as well and use sanitiser between customers?

One or both of you could also catch it at the supermarket, of course!

Sparklefizz Mon 27-Apr-20 12:12:25

Better to be safe than sorry.

Esspee Mon 27-Apr-20 13:49:50

@BlueSky. I’m over 70. It may not be a problem for you but where on earth did you get the idea that the rest of us want to be celibate?

SirChenjin Mon 27-Apr-20 13:52:40

I’m 51 and in lockdown with our three children aged 22, 20 and 13. Privacy is non existent - it’s not a problem for us grin

Esspee Mon 27-Apr-20 13:56:29

@skunkhair63. I am surprised by your latest post. You are in your early 60’s with no health issues?
Why are you going to such extremes? Do you normally suffer from anxiety?
I had assumed you were elderly with perhaps underlying medical conditions.
Now I think you are completely OTT.

BlueSky Mon 27-Apr-20 14:05:27

Esspee of course good for you 70+ with an active sex life. I know it's not defined by age alone. I should have put 'perhaps' in my post.

skunkhair63 Mon 27-Apr-20 16:57:43

Anxiety? I know of 2 friends of friends who did not survive this - both younger than me and DH. One of them struggled on a ventilator for 4 weeks before he died. We may only be in our early 60's, but we would love to have a bit of the retirement we have been planning for, for 30-odd years.

Bossyrossy Mon 27-Apr-20 17:03:33

Have you applied for the Retail and Hospitality grant which is worth £10,000 and is available from the government via your local authority? Perhaps with this he could hold off opening for a while longer.

notanan2 Mon 27-Apr-20 17:16:28

Its a bit overkill to live separately when hospital workers arent.

You could do one in one out in the shop and he could set up a mask and handgel station at the door.

notanan2 Mon 27-Apr-20 17:18:50

He could also chose not to accept cash. Or even to have a click and collect style service.

But I dont think living in separate rooms is either needed or actually effective if one of you did have it.