Am I selfish, a bad neighbour or just plain spiteful?

I think you need a bigger sofa. What cheeky neighbour's you have.

Hi dont feel bad ,as i would have done the same, they are the ones who should look at themselves and feel bad ,as not even asking if you were ok, take care

I haven’t been able to get a food delivery, but have secured click and collect, and always ask my neighbours if they need anything when I order.

Hi, I think you're a great neighbour, wish you lived next to me, assuming you don't have windchimes

You are not selfish, spiteful or thoughtless, it is your neighbours asking you to do this who are.
I cannot believe the cheek of them....unbelievable.
Maybe you should print off all those replies and post them through their door....they may see how selfish they are then!!

Taking in a parcel regularly without the neighbour even asking gets very tedious, especially if the neighbour works full time and is never there to receive their parcels. I stopped taking in parcels because of the pandemic and didn't want to handle anything that may infect me.

Old woman 70
No you are not a bad neighbour .I would not mind adding items but can only wonder [hmm}what is your neighbours idea of ad.Due to ' panic' buying as all were aware of , or should have been, at the onset of corona, stores were forced to limit how many of an item one could buy so my answer would be no.Why compromise your own order? Tough but let them keep trying for a slot as do many more who 'don't want to queue'. Tough .they'll get over it.

I don't think you are a bad neighbour at all. Some people just take advantage of any kindness from neighbours. A friend kindly took teas and coffees to some new neighbours who were having a second home built across the road even though the building work caused her some inconvenience. Once they had taken possession it was soon requests for letting in workmen, furniture deliveries, parcels. The final straw came when they brought their (large) dog with them for a few days and asked if she could look after it for 24 hours as they needed to return to London. When she refused they pointed out that she already had a dog so theirs would not make any difference!

Your not being a bad neighbour or being unreasonable, your doing what's right for you.

I'd add an odd thing on for a good neighbour but not a whole shop!!

Our neighbours ( young family ) have often said is there anything we need as they have a slot on xxx day. We haven’t taken them up on the offers but it is nice. They also told us about a veg scheme that we now use. I dont think you are being a bad neighbour but maybe be taken advantage of. I think if it was me I would be tempted to say ‘ Well Just at the moment I am having to scale back the support I can give others at this time. So I’m sorry I’m not able to help you today.’

I admire your self restraint. Personally I think I would have told them to swivel.

loaf of bread, perhaps some milk, but no they should not have asked you, some people are born with the nerve to ask for anything, some of us cant bear to ask for anything or any help.

You are not spiteful or selfish, stop thinking of it in those terms as they set out the ground rules when they didn't offer to get by getting some bits for you.

wouldn't it have been different had they offered to get you things when they went to the supermarket, or even said if you're not able to get things online or need stuff from the farm shop just say. But look at all the potential pitfalls, things out of stock, sorting out refund payments after they had paid you, sorting the stuff out and humping it outside so they could collect it [immediately if there is frozen stuff]. And if there is a limit then would you not get stuff for you. Even in that situation if they said could you see if you could get me a couple of bits out of stock I'd probably say yes,but the whole shop - it would save them time but what about your time making the order and sorting stuff out and doing the payment sorting out, it would be you doing the work taking the time it saved them. Cheeky buggers

Responding to a request for an item (free) on our local page I met someone (at a distance) who was very pleasant. She collected the item and she messaged me to say thank you. She did start out as a support volunteer then became one of the unofficially shielded but could not get a letter or supermarket slot.

We started chatting a bit and I offered her a mask (ordered before CV19 for my husband's upcoming transplant).
Within a week she said she had mislaid it and asked if I had another spare, which I gave (but was slightly suspicious).

One day walking past she mentioned she just couldn't get a shopping slot, knowing I'd just got one with Tesco. I just could not imagine sorting through the shopping dividing it up and her picking it up sometimes late in the evening.

She seemed a lovely person and I just had to swallow my guilt, thinking of my shielded husband and son, as while shielding she was out and about.

Then she stopped messaging with news we exchanged and after 4 weeks I knocked her off my contacts. Then last week up she popped up with a 'how are you'. I replied but have not encouraged anything further.

What I have learned in life is that no one person can offer all the support you might need throughout the years. And that one person who was great in supporting you may be in a different place in their lives and cannot offer the same support.

I too used to take in post and like Kalu hardly received a thank you or acknowledgement. In fact one husband just usd to look at the packet and grumble about what is wife had ordered!! ?

I agree Rosalyn69- i certainly wouldn't ask any of my neighbours to do that..i did take a parcel in on 2 occasions BEFORE coronavirus came around! But it hasn't been necessary since, as i said, as deliveries have been just 'left' at houses anyway.But i definitely wouldn't ask them for a whole shopping delivery!

I would have done the same, bit of a cheek from the neighbours

PS You don't have to give them ANY explanation. For whatever they say just smile sweetly and say "sorry, I'm afraid not" or whatever. They'll soon get the message.

A friend did this for a neighbour a month ago and has still not been paid for the extra shopping (despite 2 reminders). Definitely not! (As others have said, being a good neighbour goes both ways. Plus if you do it once, who knows how long they will expect you to carry on doing it?)

Good for you, no, you're not a bad person, @Oldwoman! They're taking mick to be fair. Would they have offered you anything for delivery? Probably not...
Got room for another behind the sofa?!

Gosh, that sofa must have reached the other side of the room now as l am joining you too.

Honestly what a diabolical liberty, tell them there’s a limit to the number of items you can order (true) - they should have known better than to ask you. Ignore it - it’s not you who are in the wrong here.

They seem to want as the saying goes me me me you have been a good neighbour and they think she gives a pinch we will take a mile they might not speak to you for a while but you can't go out anyway but when this is all over they will become who's going to have their key or take a parcel in I'm sure you have double glazing so if they throw something it might vouch back and hit them on the nose

These neighbours are rude, selfish and cheeky ! How dare they assume you will add their shopping when they are able to go out themselves AND they may be unaware that you are only allowed so many of each item on an order so probably would not be able to duplicate the basics. By now they would have been able to get themselves an order if they had tried to !!!!!

Room for one more behind that ever expanding sofa??!!