Am I selfish, a bad neighbour or just plain spiteful?

I think they are being selfish and unreasonable so do not feel guilty. Infact tell them to sod off!!!!!!!!!

You are definitely not being selfish! I was adding my daughters weekly shopping to my online order at the start of all this. She is a key worker, couldn’t get an online slot and just didn’t have the time to queue, whereas I had a weekly priority access slot.
It took me ages to add her shopping having negotiated all the out of stock items and checking what she would like instead. Then, when it all arrived it took so much time to sort out hers from mine. Obviously I was really pleased to be able to do anything at all to help her out, but there’s a big difference between a gorgeous daughter and a grumpy neighbour.

You need a bigger sofa. They are self absorbed twats.

I know exactly where your coming from Old Woman 70.
My neighbours post always comes to me. I’m number 89 and they are 89a. Postmen and parcel delivery people can’t be bothered to walk up their driveway.
When the lock down happened they had two other lots of family delivering them groceries. But they would never ask what or if I needed anything. When I had a delivery twice they asked me could I add a few things on which I did. They never once offered to pay for them. Apparently their shopping is free. As mentioned in previous post, 2nd week of lock down my washing machine blew up. Did they offer help. No...
I did have friends who were fairly local offer to help if I needed it. ( but the sun was shining Therefore I could hand wash clothes so I felt it wasn’t justified). Did my neighbour offer no.
A short while as Fter I would see my neighbour going past with shopping. So despite having deliveries she was still going to the supermarket almost everyday. Then she asked me if I had sugar or could get her some.....
What do you all think I said....... NO.

Taking in parcels is what most neighbours do but they are taking the Michael a bit asking you to add on some of their shopping onto your super market delivery. Like you say, if they were ill and self isolating you would do it, but not just because they don't want to queue. You are not being a bad neighbour.

Move over behind the sofa?. I think you are a good neighbour. Taking in parcels is fine. A few items of shopping not to bad. A full shop? No. As has been mentioned it could lead to all sorts of complications,substitutions,items near sell by date etc but most of all payment. Chances are your neighbours are honest people but its asking a lot of trust on your part,plus the time spent working it all out. As a word of caution I lent £250 nearly a year ago to a friend of over 20yrs. He was experiencing genuine financial difficulties and at the time I could afford it. There were promises to pay it back in months. Despite frequent promises and him spending money on weekends away nothing back yet!

Oldwoman70, I feel so sorry for you, these nasty neighbours are well out of order and have created bad feeling. What a cheek. They are horrible people, you don’t need them in your life. If you see them in the street, just smile at them and then walk on.

No good turn, goes unpunished.
Another sofa ducker-behind here.

I would have done the same as you. I have shopping delivered but when I can get a slot I order for both my Mum and myself. Most supermarkets are limiting the number of items you can order at the moment.

Take it you pay for the delivery spot. Don't suppose they offered the money to offset having to queue. If they got up early they would find hardly any queues. Definitely a set of "chancers". You are nit a bad neighbour and I am sure others will know that and probably know what the lazy lot are like too. Don't give them a second thought.

Sounds fair enough to me...

Good for you those neighbours are inconsiderate and selfish not worth worrying about.

No not unreasonable to refuse either. The shopping slot request is very cheeky. I normally take neighbours parcels but in lockdown don't see why it should need to happen as deliveries are contactless and anyway can be rearranged to suit the recipient.

This is what they would say in Yorkshire!
“Cheeky Buggers!”

I would have done the same, that's unreasonable. One or two items is fine, I've done that a few times, but a whole shop, no way!

I have always been happy to take parcels for neighbours, but stopped when one neighbour, who is in the forces, was away for 12 weeks and I got left with 11 parcels for him. When he returned home I rang him and he asked me to drop them off to his house . Thought that was taking the Michael. I refused to take any more parcels as I'm not a delivery service. A delivery man once turned up with a very large running machine for a neighbour 4 doors down, nothing had been arranged with me. It would have effectively have blocked up my hallway, I couldn't have moved it, I refused. The delivery driver was annoyed (as he had to heave this thing about) but I felt I was right in not inconveniencing myself. Sometimes you just cant be a mug. There's a line some people just cross towards being selfish and using others. Kindness works two ways.

Neighbours are not friends. You live side by side inevitably, but they are strangers, so even taking in a parcel is a security risk, as it could be anything! I like to say good morning/afternoon or evening to mine with a smile of course and that's the extent of my contact with them. In an emergency I would help anyone however.
I like to live peacefully and not disturb others with loud music, parties & problems, and expect the same from them.

They should NOT be asking you to take in parcels either during the pandemic! Our posties& couriers have taken to just leaving them where its best for us to bring in when theyre gone, (or later) for us its a cupboard in porch, but they can let them know also- online etc, e.g. behind bins or just in porch etc. So they should do that in future.i think most people are doing that now for 'contactless' deliveries. And no, i dont think youre being unreasonable at all.As others have said- if they had at least asked if you needed or wanted anything at beginning or since but still,theres a big difference between say maybe, asking if you could get them a loaf, or a carton of milk, as opposed to a whole shop isnt there! (As you say, might be different if they were ill, or self-isolating with symptoms?) But Just because they dont want to queue! Im afraid id have let them have it in no uncertain terms!

Sometimes you just have to take a stand and that takes courage. Weather the storm and hold your head high.
On Easter Sunday my next-door neighbours had guests in their back garden. One was a child who was told to stop hugging. I called them hypocrites and pointed out they clapped for carers in public but cheated in private. The next day I attempted to greet them, but they refused to speak. No loss to me.
Stay strong and good luck.

I agree with you, they sound selfish and arrogant.

I think you are the best of neighbours, wish our neighbours were, well neighbourly, many will walk by and not even speak... tenanted property, or does that show some snobbery on my part? not really, I just do NOT understand , how in these days, people can`t even say "hello" immediate neighbours know my recent bad time, dh died, but no one said anything to say, can help, and I am clearly elderly!
not that I particularly want them to,, just feel lonely,
and yes, I do speak to them

What a flippin CHEEK! I certainly wouldn't feel bad about refusing them. Some people are SO self absorbed. I would say hello to them when you see them, and be the same as you have always been. You don't have to feel uncomfortable when you see them? That is their job.X

GrannyGrumps1- your neighbours really are cheeky buggars as well!!

Good on you for standing up for yourself and saying NO. People will take advantage if you let them. If your neighbour does not get over being refused after all you have done for them then you have lost nothing other than find them out for what they are...Users! I think a lot of people are finding out other people's behaviours regarding this pandemic. Some people have been kind, thoughtful & helpful whereby others have not. Distance yourself from the the latter. xx

If you said yes to them, others may have asked. You could end up doing the shopping for loads of neighbours. That would be my reason to say no.