Family just too far away.

Annifrance, your post has pulled me up and stopped me not to feel sorry for myself and count my blessings. My only son and family live in France and I can’t imagine when I’ll be able to see them. I last saw them Christmas. I find it hard now living alone with no family round me.
I’d be interested to hear how you see it speaking from France - when would you imagine you’ll be able to come to the U.K. or they come to you? Will you fly? I feel very nervous about that.
I’ve even toyed with the idea of driving but this scares me too.
I understand France is practically out of lockdown even though the virus hasnt gone away presumably.
I am sorry you’ve had the disappointment of not being able to go ahead with your wedding plans. I hope you’re happy with your new husband.

I am normally a positive person but today is the first time since lockdown that I am really missing my family. It did not seem so bad before as everyone was in the same position and even people who were within walking distance from family were saying it was hard just shouting from the end of the drive. We were only used to seeing our family once a month anyway. DH and myself still can not visit as one is 2 1/2 hours away an the other 3 hours.
At least we have regular Face times and it is lovely to hear all their news of what they have been doing a home.

I understand fully where you're coming from Gungergirl. We are 60 miles away from our DD & 2 DGC aged 5 & 2. The little one was 2 last month, d I also had a birthday d we've had virtual birthday party over Skype but it's not the same especially without any hugs. My DD is really good about contacting us daily on Skype, but having been used to visiting every week, & childming for our DGD till the recent maternity leave, we often stayed over & just love spending time with them. It doesn't help that my father passed away of suspected C19 & as the adult DGC would have meant more then 10 at the funeral (90 miles away) and only close family permitted, , there were only 4 of us there, my DS & her DH, & me & DH. We didn't even hug each other. Very sad, particularly as Sad was active & a very popular gentleman.
We have been adhering to the guidelines here in Scotland, where we are recommended to stay within miles, & we applaud the Scottish government stance of not relaxing restrictions too soon in the hope we can stop the spread of this horrid virus. However, we long for the day when we can hug those two little ones.
Stay strong. We're doing what we need to do so hopefully that wonderful day will come soon.

Typo. "Sad" should say "Dad"

I too am missing my daughters and granddaughters more and more. They live 50 and 120 miles away and I haven't seen any of them since February. The two year wouldn't look at me the first time we facetimed but I started talking to her about the books I used to read to her and I think she realised who I was. Now she says 'Nanny read me stories'.
I think I am finding it harder because my DH's family all live nearby and we see his DGC , at a distance, more regularly.
My eldest daughter and myself both have birthdays next week but no chance of seeing each other in the foreseeable future.
There are a lot of us in the same position but it doesn't make it any easier knowing that.

I fully agree, Ginger, and we (DH and me) are in the same boat - too far away to be able to make it work and, even if we could, only one of us would be allowed. DGS is 8 months and sees us on Facetime but, really, we are just people on the telly. He saw his other grandparents recently (garden/distanced meeting) and was very wary of them. I, too, am very envious of those who can make this new relaxation of the rules work.

Grandmabeach you raise an interesting point. It didn't seem as bad when everyone was in the same position. The minute you start lifting restrictions for one set of people there is another set who miss out and feel aggrieved.

I’m one of the ‘lucky’ ones, if you call being widowed and alone lucky. I can now visit my DD & GCs, who I haven’t seen since February, in Devon and stay in their bubble. I really feel for all of you who can’t yet do that but I don't think the wait will be too long. I do feel somewhat trepidatious at the thought of exiting my isolation and driving 120 miles. It’s weird how being isolated has shrunk (shrunken?) our lives to such an extent that we hesitate to broaden our horizons!

Ginger girl I know your not on your own but would it not be feasible to have a chat with your husband and for you to go and visit alone, as yesterday’s guild lines say you can stay over the night, that would be better than you being upset and missing them now there is a small window of change.

Gingergirl I am in a similar position one GC 2 hours drive away, another 10 hours drive or usually a plane journey within UK. I did make the 2 hour journey a week ago. Garden chair in boot. Took a flask of tea and my own picnic. Sat outside with winter coat on under a huge parasol. Lasted two hours and it was worth it watching GD play in garden and having little conversations. In spite of the "you must not" ruling about using the toilet I did. Had taken a bag with sanitiser, toilet cleaning wipes (flushable) but also a nappy bag to bring the wipes home as well as my picnic rubbish. Wiped the toilet door handles and the light switch. Also took my own hand towel just in case I did need to use soap for handwashing or wiping flask etc. It can be done!

Apologies for more typos. My hand is quite sore with carpal tunnel & sometimes I hit the wrong key. I should be more careful in my checking. We are recommended to stay within 5 miles of home and we do.

Gingergirl, the main point to bear in mind is - you'll still be alive and well to catch up with them next summer. They won't forget you and won't have to grieve over your death. So the present inconvenience and sacrifice is well worth it!

I’m a granny with three GC who live in Oz, so as others have said, you just get used to it. Haven’t seen them for 3 years, no idea when we ‘will meet again’

Have 2 more who live in our town, have seen them at a distance a couple of times. They normally come for tea twice a week from school. They are 15 and 12, so not the same as little GC.

‘It is what it is’ I’m afraid.

In all honesty people need to get a grip how do you think people coped during the war! Loads of people have lost love ones since this all started and have been grieving alone with no support or proper funerals. I know family where their 2yr old GD has leukaemia but can’t visit. My neighbour has had a new GD who she won’t be able to see . My own husband has cancer but can’t have chemo currently due to COVID. My daughter who lives alone hundreds of miles away has serious mental health issues Our other daughter and family live hundreds of miles away and therefore no hope of visiting. As my dad says life owes you nothing. I won’t allow myself to be sad. I take every day as it comes. We are very fortunate and have a garden, no money worries and our dogs. Things could be so much worse.

We are in a similar situation as OP. Both our daughters and their families live 300 miles away so too far for tea in the garden etc. I take comfort in the fact that they live across the road from each other so have been able to have distance contact. I'm just grateful that this has happened when we have technology to keep us in touch visually so the younger children are less likely to forget us. Hardly a week goes by when I don't get a message from my daughter to see if I'm free for a video call as the 3 yr old needs to show me or tell me something and even my other daughters 19 month old runs up to the screen and says hi. It's the 12 and 11 yr old boys who don't communicate much, even if I text them it can be a couple of days before they remember to reply lol.
I shall just keep looking forward to when I can go to stay and alternate between their houses and of course give them all big hugs.

Same here I agree if our DGC live abroad we are used to it but we still miss planning next time, especially if far away. Still let's be optimistic!

Thank you SheilasM and Oldbat1. That's exactly the response I was hoping to evoke! Some people seem to feed off other people's misery and so indulge their own. This is NOT helpful in this interim situation and won't improve anybody's wellbeing. How are they going to feel when things improve, as they will, and see how weak they were.

I find sympathy and empathy with many people's situations, have talked to friends having a difficult time with sympathy and none of them are being wimps. Just getting on with it because it is what the situation requires.

Thank God for Macron. He dealt with it strictly and early which why we are in a good position now. We can travel more or less anywhere and see quite a lot of people, best outside, and observe all the PPE. Our book group began again with 8 of us and social distancing. Cafes, bars and restaurants about to reopen. Life here is pretty good. Thank you Macron.

We have to wait and see how it plays out 're visits to and from France, exacerbated by Bojo's daft ideas. UK could have been like here if only. It is a case of wait and see and better not to dwell on it which could lead to disappointment and unhappiness.

So is that a ban on sharing our feelings ?

Juicy Lucy I fear the guidelines state that one person may visit and stay but not if they live with someone eg husband.

I haven't seen either of my AC since Christmas as DD lives in Glasgow and DS and DiL in Bristol, while I'm just outside London. At the end of the month DS anDiL are moving to Suffolk to live with her parents for a few months prior to moving to Germany later in the year. I am so excited that they plan to use me as a loo stop on the move - about half way - but I guess still no hugs! Just hope it isn't raining so we can at least spend a short time in the garden together. Meanwhile my DD is looking to apply for a new job in London. We assume the initial interviews will be done remotely, but if she gets to final interview she may have to come down. If that happens she will take a few days holiday and stay with me in a bubble. We are both desperate for a hug as we both live alone! Isn't it crazy I can clearly remember my last 2 hugs. One was a with colleague who was leaving work back in February and the other was a friend at church at about the same time. We take these normal human interactions so much for granted and being deprived is so hard! DS and DiL are expecting my 1st GC so I hope hugs will be allowed when he or she arrives before they leave for Germany and more long distance relating. Thank goodness for Facetime and zoom!

I'm totally in your boat, Gingergirl so let's keep to our own ends ?. I'm in the bows and you can have the stern! Seriously though, I'm in Northumberland and my three grandchildren live in Bristol. The youngest was born on May 1st so I haven't held her. My daughter is struggling and I want to help her.

I must agree with the post from annufrance. I live abroad and was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer last year so have not been to England since November 2018 to see my large family. We usually visit 2 to 3 times a year. We have had 3 DGGC born and plans had been made to be in England just after the youngest would be born in April but obviously Covid19 put an end to that. So I haven't even had a cuddle and I wonder if I will ever see them or the rest of the family again given my health and the bleddy virus. At least you are all.most likely to see your families again.
Like France our Portuguese President and Prime Minister have been very sensible and have done every thing in a very sensible order so we are coming out of lockdown and know precisely what can and can't be done. But the advice is still Fique em casa - stay at home. It's even in the top right hand of our TV screens.

I am yet to meet my 10 week old granddaughter who lives 6 hours away and I have not seen my other 10 year old granddaughter who is 5 hours away since February, I have had moments of sadness, anger and just been in floods of tears but I just hope as each week passes we will get closer to seeing our family and giving them such a squeeze. Mind you my new granddaughter will see us as strangers so I will have to make do with just squeezing her beautiful chubby legs to start with.

We live in Wales and are not allowed to travel further than 5 miles. Our kids & grandkids live in Surrey so we can't visit them and they can't visit us. We haven't seen them for 4 months now and it's getting harder and harder. Thank God for Zoom that's all I can say.

Grannyrebel7 I am the opposite to you, I live in Surrey and my grandchildren are in North Wales, it’s very hard not seeing them to cheer you up