Hubbies deafness is driving me to distraction

My own life was revolutionised when my Dh got hearing aids. He paid a bit more to get a better type of aid and until recently it’s been well worth the money, if it can be afforded. Everything about our life is better now.

Forgot to say, his aids aren’t so good currently because they keep falling out and the actual ear inserts need changing but he can’t currently get an appointment at Specsavers. ?

It really is worth doing something about it because deafness can have a connection with dementia.

I have had hearing loss since a child but only high frequencies. Hubby on the other hand has just started to loose his but only low frequencies. ie he can hear all the birds and I can't. As I have had it so long I have learned to guess what people are saying and am quite good a lip reading with the sound they are making No good if there is no sound. When we first got married he was often in hysterics if he asked me something and I could not see him as I would answer what I thought I heard and it was often completely different to what he had said. There are some private ones that can't be seen in your ear and they only need to be changed when the battery goes which is at least 2 years. I can see us getting ours in the next couple of years
I am sure when I do I will wish did it earler

I agree with all those who have hearing difficulties especially Illte. Some of the comments here show that hearing problems are much misunderstood. I have NHS aids and they are very good but they don’t make my hearing perfect. As explained to me by the audiologist, there will always be certain frequencies and tones that are difficult for me to pick up. I have explained this to my DH many times but he continues to get cross and frustrated when I don’t pick something up first time. If I ask him to repeat he generally repeats the bit I’ve heard (the last bit), when it’s usually the first bit I’ve missed because I wasn't ‘tuned in’. Turning to face someone when speaking to them is extremely helpful.

And expecting somebody with hearing problems to hear properly when the radio is on and the tap is running is quite unreasonable, although DH doesn’t think so!

I’m glad to hear that others agree that expensive private hearing aids are no better. My father in law paid a lot of money but has never been satisfied with his. I went with him when he was tested and fitted for his and was quite appalled at the service and outdated technology used compared to my experience under the NHS at the local hospital.

I get really annoyed when people make jokes about deafness, too. Why is it ok? Nobody would dream of making similar jokes about being blind.

I have a hearing aid from Boots which is neat and small, very effective. If you can afford it maybe he could go and discuss with them? It doesn't distort speech and generally doesn't irritate my ear either.

Specsavers also do one in glasses ...but I don't know how those work

Thank you everyone, your comments have given me something to think about

they can be uncomfortable, both physically in the ear, and the way they affect the sounds conveyed.
quite honestly i don't think i'd like to use one.
try this OP.
go to poundland or similar. stationery section.
small whiteboard with pen. it's wipeable. about A5 size.
some have magnets for attaching to fridge, to compile shopping lists, or messages. so look in kitchen section too.
good luck.

Please don’t waste good money on private aids. I am profoundly deaf, have been since my early forties. I used to wear only one hearing aid, grew my hair, was embarrassed. But, the audiologist at our local hospital convinced me to wear two, we do hear in stereo! and it has turned my life around. I put, what I call ‘my ears’ in first thing in the morning and last thing at night, do not adjust them at all in noisy situations, life is loud, your brain does adjust. Please me gentle with your husband, hearing loss is very isolating. Private message me if you wish, I have persuaded several friends to wear theirs.

My mum used to wear her hearing aid when she was with my sister as she gave her a hard time about it but I didn't bother so much. My sister saw her a lot more than I did as they lived very close to each other.
Eventually my sister said that it was up to her but she was not to ask my sister to repeat anything and if she misheard something, that was her fault. It was tough love but it worked and my mum started to wear her aid. She always said it was uncomfortable and I tried it on to see - yes, it wasn't the most comfortable thing but if you wanted to be involved in things you had to put up with it. We had all gone through having our grandmother refuse hearing aids and then sitting there with a face like thunder when she couldn't join in with conversations.

If his aids are uncomfortable or not meeting his needs he must go back to the clinic where he got them. There really is no need to get expensive aids; my NHS ones are excellent, and most people do not eve notice that I am wearing them.

Hearing aids are not exactly like normal hearing - it is impossible to totally blank out background noise. But it is a matter of compromise to make life easier for everyone.

I have no idea how you might get your OH to use his, unless you just appeal to his better nature (I assume he has one!) for your benefit.

Are these newer NHS hearing aids hidden invisibly inside the ear? My husband has successfully used privately bought, invisible aids but we can no longer afford them. He wont try NHS ones as he's convinced they are all large behind the ear type aids. So Im now shouting at, repeating back to, or ignoring him. So frustrated!!!

Another vote here for NHS aids. Earlier this year I was diagnosed as needing aids - and I have NHS ones. A friend who's has a hearing-impairment for decades, advised me (as did the audiologist) to wear them all day, every day. Problem solved. For me, it really has been as simple as that.

We have it to a lesser degree in our house.
Its that vague 'simple' expression on his face when he looks as if he can't process what I've just said.
However he gets really angry if I say "Which part of (for instance) salad or casserole, don't you understand?
He never wants me to ever say it again and I am trying not to. I am thinking it though!

It must be so annoying, my husband wears two earrings aids sometimes it hurts his ears and he leaves off for a day, even wearing these earring aids the tv is on full blast . And I have to raise my voice so he can hear me. He says I speak too softly. Not much fun in my house We do have rows about this, sorry I can’t give you advice. Sorry for a moan ?

My OH has been very deaf for many years, English isn't his first language which doesn't help. He's had expensive private aids which were adjusted several times, he didn't like them or use them. Then super NHS ones, he won't wear them either, except when family visits. I admit I rarely bother to have a conversation with him a lot of the time as he doesn't hear me even if I'm right next to him, facing him. He 'guesses' what I say & is frequently wrong....so frustrating!

I've worn two aids for years. Nothing really to add to the above thread except for are all you hearing aid wearers aware that you can buy a disabled person's rail card?

You can travel on any trains - apart from Hi speed - at anytime to anywhere in the country. You get 30% discount and can also take another person with you who also gets 30% discount. I'm amazed at how many people are not aware of this.

It's more than aggravating. The volume on the TV is on 93! Total refusal to have a hearing test. I now find it easier to write post it notes!
It's tiring to constantly shout! He no longer sits on the sofa, but removes the cushions & positions himself
on the floor about a foot from the TV. It's compounded by the fact that he has had only ONE eye test in the last 34 years!
He doesn't use the specs
so I drive for my own safety.

I don't see this as being 'disabled'. There's a simple solution. I see it as a sort of weird vanity ?

Simple. Sit him down and tell him you will no longer shout or repeat yourself. Unless he is very self contained, he will find himself feeling very isolated,and looking forward to rejoining the human race. He probably doesn't realise how different digital aids are in that they won't amplify all the ambient noise.

Pretend to be deaf and give him a taste of his own medicine. He is being obtuse and uncooperative so deserves no sympathy.

It's very difficult. My DH mainly lip-reads . He had nhs hearing aids about 5 years ago. He used them for 2 days. We have asked for him to be referred to audiology but how long is that going to be?. Social events are a nightmare.
I rarely speak to him now, just listen when he talks to me.

My late husband suffered from hearing loss but was, I think, too vain to get hearing aids. There were several years lived to the litany of “What did you say?” Or “Say again”, and eventually one day I said to him “There is nothing on this earth that will make you appear to be a deaf old buffer MORE than constantly asking me or others to repeat what we’ve just said.” He did in the end get aids and never looked back.

I have privately bought hearing aids. Best thing I ever did. They can't be seen. What is his reason for not getting them?

I often wonder if my DH is going deaf, but mostly it’s a concentration thing. If he’s got his eyes glued to his computer screen or the telly, I stand no chance of being heard, but if I start a conversation/ask a question or whatever by saying his name quite sharply his attention comes back to me and he will engage and hear me perfectly. If, however, I speak to the dog (she always hears me) he will usually hear that no matter what he is doing!

I have a hearing loss and have had NHS aids for about 5 years. They are ok though not good where there is loud background noise as they amplify that sound (eg traffic noise or the engine noise on a bus - not a problem I've had for the last 3 months (what's a bus?)

I recognise others' frustrations. My DH often speaks to my back from the opposite end of the room. Frustrating for both of us but I don't think he'll change now despite reminders (aka nagging). Also annoying is when he points at something he wants me to look at and speaks in that direction - he can't seem to coordinate the act of facing in one direction (towards me) and pointing in the other.

I wear headphones when watching TV - they take the sound directly from the TV so the volume can be as low as my DH likes it (he has very acute hearing).

I first realised my hearing was poor when on holiday in the US. A waitress reeled off the menu and said "elephant tuna". Well, I thought, US food portions are large.... But apparently she said "yellowfin" tuna.

Yes, same in our house. Feel like Fred Elliott off Coronation st! I get so frustrated repeating myself continuously. He even admits that he now automatically says 'what?'even though he did hear me. So annoying!