Hubbies deafness is driving me to distraction

I'd love to be a fly on the wall in people's homes, when one partner is hard of hearing.

I am in exactly the same position as you Muddynails. My DH chooses to wear his hearing aids only when there is a TV programme he is particularly interested in. Consequently he doesn't take interest in any other TV, struggles to follow conversations and often mishears what I say causing irritation. I don't think it's vanity, just a refusal to accept the inevitable- he comes from a family who all suffer hearing problems. I have no solution, I wish I had!

Lots of sympathy my Dh is similar - also has had toothache since prior to lockdown, won't go to dentist, heart failure nurse has advised contact GP re frequent headaches - won't go. Happen to moan to me though - PITA!! Sadly there are many similar

Sorry to have to repeat myself again. Not wearing hearing aids invites dementia in faster. If you do not hear your brain will forget sounds, never to recall them. Find Savlon cream inside ear canal will soothe some occasional slight itch from within the ear.

I work for a company that designs and manufactures hearing loops for commercial installations. What we are finding from feedback from hearing aid users and advocacy groups is that very often installers will just tick a box and not install a loop that will provide a positive benefit so hearing aid users think that is the best they can get. Hearing aid with T Coil fitted are often not activated by the audiologists so once again the user thinks the poor performance is all they can expect. Another thing to note that the very small aids do not have a t coil so at the theatre etc you may not get a good experience. There are small personal devices they will fit in a pocket and you may use your own ear buds and they have a t coil in the, as well. The Williams AV Pocketalker is one I have heard good reviews from. The one thing we have found with our work with Hearing Link is that a lot of people do not understand what is possible and that people with hearing loss rarely complain.

It is often hilarious in my house with my mis-hearing what is being said and I do wear hearing aids. It definately seems as if your husband needs to return for some adjustments or new aids to the audiology department.
Hearing aids will not replace any lost hearing but help you with the hearing you do have making the whole experience better but not perfect.
The new aids from NHS are much better but I have had to go private as my loss is more complex than those aids can deal with.
I have private aids now that are re-chargeable and bluetooth to my mobile phone! Expensive but makes talking on the phone so much better. I can also make adjustments with an app on the phone for tv or noisy situations.
Again this helps but I do still sometimes struggle particularly when my OH talks to me with his head in the wardrobe or from upstairs!

I lived with this problem for years.DH developed hearing issue in his 40s Would not believe me he had a problem until children told him it wasn't me talking softly that he said was why he didn't hear as they could hear me. Two hearing aids and and a big improvement. They do need regular tweaking and adjusting, it's not a case of they will work on original setting forever more. Your DH should persevere and go for monitoring appointments. My DH now has a cochlear implant which whilst a lot better doesn't give perfect hearing. No need for hearing aid in other ear though.

What is it with men ! Same in my house, I have to repeat practically everything.

our daughter in law was direct with my husband - "you're making life more difficult for all of us by not getting and using decent hearing aids". Did the trick in the way nothing gentler from wife and children did. Thankyou d in law - improved our lives no end

Conversation last night with DH who refuses to go for hearing test:?
Do you want a cup of tea?
I didn’t put it there, it was there when I got in!
No, do you want a cup of tea?
OK but I don’t want any horseradish or gravy?
DO YOU WANT A CUP OF THAT BROWN lEAFY BEVERAGE WE HAVE EVERY DAY ABOUT THS TIME?
Oh yes please, that would be lovely dear !

I have learned a new language, he wears glasses and has eye checks regularly so why not hearing test?

My neighbour is deaf as a post and refuses to wear his hearing aids. His wife gets so irate with him and I can hear her shouting at him through the walls. It must be annoying for both of them.

As someone with quite severe hearing loss I can only second suggestions for those who live with someone who is hearing impaired. I wear my very effective hearing aids however DH insists on having long conversations with me whilst he is in another room, has his head inside a cupboard or has the television blaring. When we’re with company and someone is talking to me he will start a conversation with another nearby person which then means that I have two conversations competing in my ears.
We have discussed ways to deal with my deafness such as facing me, one person speaking at a time, being in the same room etc but he manages to do so for a while but then forgets and reverts to previous behaviour.
It isn’t easy living with someone who is hearing impaired and I know it is very frustrating having to repeat yourself but you do need to stop and think before expecting to be heard.

It must be very annoying for you muddynails, love your username btw, it’s strange when he could easily afford a small privately bought aid, which would solve the problem so easily, and then stop the arguments and both be relieved

You have my total sympathy. My DH claims he doesn’t need hearing aids then why am I having to interpret what people say on the TV when the sound is turned up to 70!!!!!!!!!! My head was aching last night and I left him and went to bed soon. Stubborn men!!!!!!!

I feel your pain! Apparently I and everyone else mumbles all the time!

I am deaf, and it started when I was 10 but didn't realise it (thought I just couldn't concentrate at school). Took me a long time to realise I was missing out, tried one when we lived in Aberdeen - it was terrible so gave up. Tried again when we moved to Harrogate. The ear in question wasn't suitable for normal NHS so had a mini op to fit a Bone Anchored Hearing Aid - Wow the difference!! Found out the conventional NHS would benefit other ear. My hearing is not perfect, but it's a hang site better than without. I realised I had tinnitus and the hospital made alterations which improved my hearing a bit more. I can't speak highly enough of the NHS for my hearing aids. DH doesn't understand I still can't hear him when the TV is blaring (which it usually is). I generally use subtitles. How old is your DH? Is he working? How does he cope? He definitely should go back for an NHS appointment!!

I have a permanent sore throat because of my husbands deafness.....I’ve now put up with it for 15 years. Selfish people , who think we should all hurt ourselves so they can remain hearing. We don’t talk now.... no point ...I refuse to injure myself anymore !

I had a hearing aid for 5 yrs due to moderate hearing loss in one ear which was not resolved despite two surgeries. Sadly it became a victim of covid as got flipped off ear when removing a facemask outside a shop. So I am researching what to do now.
There is now a lot of new stuff on the techie side but I have been told that the basic enhancement of sound is about the same. They are now 'bluetooth' and can be controlled by an App but I wonder if I would be bothered to use same? You can also have sound sent directly to the hearing aid from a TV or phone. Also there is facility to track where it might be located if lost. As for comfort in ear, it was never a problem for me as main item was behind the ear. But for others the transmitter piece in the ear has a soft silicone cap that can be altered in size for fit and comfort. Other designs have a larger rigid plastic in ear piece and this can be custom made to match your own ear if standard one uncomfortable. The other item now generally available is the rechargeable batteries. I am wondering about that as I was used to the batteries and easy to have a spare with me at any time. I would worry about leaving charger behind in travelling and it being yet another item to be plugged in to add to clutter in bedroom.

I tended only to put on h aid when I was in company/class/meeting. In the early days I was advised to wear for up to 5 hours a day so the brain adapts to the new source of sound. Also I had it initially set at a low level and the audiologist adjusted it upwards over a couple of months to "prescription level". Lots of finer points that need following up and a pity that people do not persevere to get the best use out of same.

The best advice I got was from an older lady who said not to leave it too late to get an aid as would be easier to get used to if started younger.

For a sideways look at this problem read "Deaf Sentence" by David Lodge. Funny, sympathetic, explanatory, heart rending.

It does sometimes have its funny moments, just made a comment to dh about why some brassieres are so expensive he replied, " perhaps they are difficult to grow" - what are, his reply "salvias"[grin}

I stopped making allowances , didn’t speak up and refused to repeat myself after years of husband insisting there was no problem- he booked for an appt within two weeks !!!

As have posted before DD had hearing loss at 32 and immediately , with good grace and no fuss got hearing aids thus putting her father to shame !

I would like to learn to sign . I am deaf and have NHS hearing aids and signing is so beautiful to watch and probably easier to learn than playing the guitar.

I can do a little bit of makaton. Even easier than bsl.
I wish they would teach it in all schools.

It's best to go back to the audiologist to get them adjusted or replaced. My husband's were carefully checked and he gets all batteries and any repairs free.