Gransnet forums

AIBU

I have a tricky friend.

(70 Posts)
PamelaJ1 Sat 25-Jul-20 17:55:56

She is quite needy and I give her as much time and support as I can
She has a project at the moment and a new man in her life. I am very happy for her and for me because she will need me less.
She sent me a message , see photo of the conversation . I turned up for tennis- she didn’t.
I could have done something else this afternoon.
If she had apologised profusely and said she had forgotten I would have understood. Even I am not perfect and have forgotten things!
But she didn’t. AIBU to expect more of an apology or is it her way of saying that now I am no longer important?
I’m in blue.
I need a witty comment that shows her, in a nice way, that I am p*** off.
Suggestions welcome.

rosecarmel Sat 25-Jul-20 19:40:11

She asked you to play tennis, you said yes but then she never comfirmed- You went anyway- Then turned around and asked where she was, as though it was her fault you showed up, even though she didn't confirm-

Sounds to me like "both" of you are playing more than tennis-

Chewbacca Sat 25-Jul-20 19:41:25

hmm

B9exchange Sat 25-Jul-20 19:42:42

I feel very uncomfortable reading a private text sent specifically to someone else. But having read it, the 'MRI negative' at the end could have had huge implications.

MissAdventure Sat 25-Jul-20 19:42:58

I think she would have said "I didn't realise the tennis was on" if that was the case.
Why would she say she was too knackered?

rosecarmel Sat 25-Jul-20 19:45:38

B9exchange

I feel very uncomfortable reading a private text sent specifically to someone else. But having read it, the 'MRI negative' at the end could have had huge implications.

Yes

Cher69 Sat 25-Jul-20 19:47:50

Just read the text as I would read it and she says about 3 on Saturday would be good. As in is that OK with you ? But you don't answer her to make the arrangement definite. Its left open ended. I would have text her back saying yep 3 on Saturday is great see you then. That way you could have real go at her for not turning up. I just feel its a very loose arrangement and not one that is definite. However your friend does appear quite disrespectful in the way she responds by saying she was too tired. No real apology in fact she is making it sound like she is the one put out. There fore I would dump her as a friend because obviously she only cares about herself.

rosecarmel Sat 25-Jul-20 19:48:18

MissAdventure

I think she would have said "I didn't realise the tennis was on" if that was the case.
Why would she say she was too knackered?

Why would she go to the court without a confirmation?

Oopsminty Sat 25-Jul-20 19:49:30

She didn't say that it was OK. No confirmation. No need to be annoyed. Just a misunderstanding.

MissAdventure Sat 25-Jul-20 19:49:58

Because that is how some people text.
As I said, she would have pointed out that it wasn't confirmed if that was the case.

PinkCakes Sat 25-Jul-20 21:57:15

If it were me, I'd wait for her to suggest meeting, then stand her up. She's not much of a friend.

Lucca Sat 25-Jul-20 22:09:15

MissAdventure

Because that is how some people text.
As I said, she would have pointed out that it wasn't confirmed if that was the case.

I agree.

Grandmabatty Sun 26-Jul-20 08:12:52

I think you need some time away from her to clear your head from irritation. The fact you posted it here shows that it got under your skin. It does read that neither of you confirmed definitely but maybe that's your phone style to each other. Her saying she was 'knackered' is an attempt at an apology that maybe she feels she shouldn't be making? If she hadn't turned up, didn't you contact her right away to ask if she was delayed?

GagaJo Sun 26-Jul-20 08:27:02

I'd reply with 'Thanks for letting me know. I wasted an hour waiting for you. Ask John next time.'

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sun 26-Jul-20 08:34:05

I used to have a 'friend' like that OP who'd not turn up if a better offer came her way. Needless to say she is no longer a friend.

Urmstongran Sun 26-Jul-20 08:46:29

Texts & WhatsApp have their uses. Cheap or free. But every now and again a phone call is better I think. Less misunderstandings that way.
?

Missfoodlove Sun 26-Jul-20 08:48:58

Perhaps she was upset that you hadn’t asked how her MRI had gone or how her health was.

Callistemon Sun 26-Jul-20 08:53:16

She didn't bother to reply to confirm that 3pm on Saturday would be fine, so I would have phoned her to make sure that she was coming.

However, her flippant reply was very rude.

Callistemon Sun 26-Jul-20 08:54:52

Is there another thread somewhere where someone has said that her friend didn't bother to ask how her MRI scan went? All her friend was interested in was a ruddy game of tennis?

hmm

PamelaJ1 Sun 26-Jul-20 08:57:23

I do take your point about the MRI scan but I have been very supportive.
She did have 2 days to say she wasn’t going to turn up, before she was knackered! We usually make our arrangements in this way. Whoever makes the suggestion books the court. The court was booked. She must have booked it.
I’ve got it out of my system now. It’s just par for the course.
It’s a beautiful morning, we are having family round for lunch, onwards and upwards.
Thanks for letting me vent.

PamelaJ1 Sun 26-Jul-20 09:00:17

Callistemon, that comment was unfair.
I have been through a lot of scares with her. I was supportive through this one.

Callistemon Sun 26-Jul-20 09:07:35

Sorry, Pamela
However, I was trying to look at it from the other point of view as I know neither of you.

But it doesn't seem very fair to post her texts on here - she could be a Gransnetter too.

Calendargirl Sun 26-Jul-20 09:19:07

Callistemon

Sorry, Pamela
However, I was trying to look at it from the other point of view as I know neither of you.

But it doesn't seem very fair to post her texts on here - she could be a Gransnetter too.

If she is a GN’er also, she might get the hint that you weren’t happy.

Callistemon Sun 26-Jul-20 09:39:34

Perhaps she was having a dig because Pamela didn't first ask how the MRI scan went.

There are always two sides to every story, I was just trying to look at the discussion from the other point of view.

Tangerine Sun 26-Jul-20 09:42:44

I am inclined to agree with everyone who says you can do without this friend.

Possibly, in your shoes, I'd ring her up and ask politely for an explanation.

It depends on how much you wish to have this friend in your life.

harrigran Sun 26-Jul-20 09:49:40

I know someone who sends a vague reply and leaves arrangements to me so I send a message with date, time, venue and what time we will be picking up. If I don't get an ? or a proper message I resend it a day or two later.