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Social distancing...again.. !

(60 Posts)
Gingergirl Fri 07-Aug-20 18:35:57

AIBU to think that distancing amongst families seems a thing of the past?! Are there people on here, who like me, haven’t yet so much as hugged their toddler and baby GC, let alone any of their adult children? We have declined overnight stays because with such young children, we just can’t all stay apart from a practical point of view. And even with a day trip, we are still staying apart. And yet, living in a holiday area, I’m seeing extended families staying together, sitting and eating as if one household etc...and I feel I’m going mad! We have a particularly emotional family event to attend in a few weeks and still, I doubt we will feel it’s ok to kiss and hug. What are others’ experiences please? It’s so depressing!

Jaxjacky Sat 08-Aug-20 12:38:28

Saw DD and DS over lockdown from end of drive (4m) had DD and GC x 2 for bbq last week, all in garden, SD, individual crockery/cutlery straight in dishwasher afterwards. No hugging or touching. It’s weird, I don’t like it, but better than 4m was.

Kim19 Sat 08-Aug-20 12:39:23

D&K, thank you. Great help. I believe taxis are operating. Taxi it will be.

Tweedle24 Sat 08-Aug-20 12:45:51

Two weeks ago, my daughter and her partner came to stay for a few nights. We had decided to ‘bubble’ so they made sure they had isolated themselves for two weeks before they came. I had not seen them since February. First thing I did, when I saw the car come down the drive, was dissolve into tears and rush out to hug her — this from somebody who is normally very controlled.

Gingergirl Sat 08-Aug-20 12:57:34

I’ve never heard of this ‘deciding to bubble’ Tweedle24. I know that someone who is on their own can, form that with one other household but otherwise.....? Anyway, re the GC distancing question in my post, thanks for your comments and yes I am in England so am aware that Scotland is different. It’s comforting to know that others are going through the same as me. It’s just that it never seems to be talked about or acknowledged in the few press conferences we have now and it makes me feel like life is supposed to be fairly normal whereas for me, it’s still far from that!

NannyG123 Sat 08-Aug-20 12:58:27

Next weekend we will be seeing my 4yr old grandson for the first time in 6 months . They are staying one night. I will try my best to to keep a distance . As I have with the rest of my gc. Hopefully we won't forget.

chattykathy Sat 08-Aug-20 13:23:57

Ginger girl, the government have issued guidance, not rules. If for instance your GC haven't been to school /childcare for sometime and your DD doesn't mix socially I can't see what difference ir makes whether you have a DH or not. My DH and I are joined at the hip so for all intents and purposes we are one. This is what we considered when we 'bubbled' with our DD, SIL and GC. Not strictly within the guidance but common sense. We don't mix with anyone else and neither do they. It's been brilliant for us and them, given my DD to have a break from home schooling /entertaining her 3 DC while her DH works from home. I hope you find a happy solution.

Hev61 Sat 08-Aug-20 13:36:33

Haven't hugged or kissed Gd or Dds at all.have had visits in garden.Dd1 now back at work so now looking after Gd 1 day a week.she's 4 1/2 and she tells us we can't hug or kiss till the 'bug' has gone.breaks my heart

Tweedle24 Sat 08-Aug-20 13:39:47

* Gingergirl* I am on my own so I am allowed to bubble with another household — my daughter and her partner.

earnshaw Sat 08-Aug-20 13:41:48

my family and I have refrained from close contact with family and friends but, human nature being what it is, there will always be folks who ignore and just do as they want , i live in southport and although greater manchester is in lock down, the crowds getting off the manchester train goes against what we are supposed to do,its a bit like fighting a losing battle

BonnieBlooming Sat 08-Aug-20 13:51:19

My DD is due to give birth in a few weeks time and DGSis just 15 months old. We have all been extremely careful but 3 weeks ago decided to form a sort of bubble with DD, SIL & DGS so that we can help her with the wee one. We now take him 2 days a week and yes we kiss and cuddle him. DD has found lock down very hard as all the wee classes she took DGS too have closed and she can struggle with low mood and anxiety. We live very near and have done our best to support her (SIL is a key worker) from a distance for 3 months and now in close contact. To be honest I think it has helped both our mental health and I make no apologies. The only other person I have seen in doors is my mum and I social distance from her as she is 88.
I think it is up to families to be sensible but not put each other at risk. I do have another DGS a ferryride and long drive away and I dont know when we will see him as he is about to start school and as a lecturer said at one of my daughters nursing seminars "children are vectors of disease"!

auntiejantie Sat 08-Aug-20 14:04:50

As others have said, children aged 11 and under in Scotland have not had to social distance for some weeks, meaning that I can hug my 7 GC. This is in preparation for schools returning next week. I can't hug their parents though!

NfkDumpling Sat 08-Aug-20 14:22:59

We've stretched the rules too, as there's two of us, and have formed a bubble with DS, DiL and DGS who is on the autistic spectrum. But we still don't see them very often - about once a fortnight - and generally outside. A brief standing hug when leaving (not a face to face hug). The difference it made to DGS when we decided to do this was very noticeable and he's much happier.

And no shielding is finished we're also seeing our older DGDs occasionally. Very occasionally, generally outside and no hugging. They're getting to the age when they don't want to hug anyway! We even had one DGD to stay for a sleepover, but she's old enough to sit apart, sit the other side of the table when we did craft work, make her own bed etc... and I left her room for 36 hours before changing the sheets.

Yes, there are risks but we're minimising them as much as we can as the situation as it is now is likely to go on for a very long time. We're acting with common sense and avoiding crowded situations and using the guidelines as just that - guidelines. At our ages life is precious and we don't know how much is left to us. We don't intend to sit and regret what we're missing while the clock ticks on.

NfkDumpling Sat 08-Aug-20 14:25:23

Oh, and when anyone other than my DH and myself have used crockery etc in our house, it goes in the dishwasher at a 60c wash!

Bluecat Sat 08-Aug-20 15:11:23

I have seen my 3 grandchildren (the other 4 live in the USA) but haven't hugged the eldest 2 since March. I have had one cheeky cuddle, after donning mask and gloves, with the baby because I could no longer bear that I had never touched her.

It is so hard to keep my distance. I was in their front garden last week, talking to their mum, and they came out of the house in tears. The 8 year old had cut her own hair and immediately regretted it, and the 10 year old was crying in sympathy. DD cuddled and calmed them, but I longed to rush forward and hug them when they were sobbing. (She didn't need scolding - she was filled with remorse.) It feels so unnatural, to be afraid to touch people. However, both of my DDs worry that, if I get Covid, I won't survive and I know that that is very possible. I am going to carry on being careful for as long as seems necessary.

DGD has a hairdresser's appointment next week. The damage was too bad for her mum to rectify.

Teacheranne Sat 08-Aug-20 17:04:20

Earnshaw, those of us who are from Greater Manchester are not confined to the area, we are permitted to leave to work, go on holiday or for days out. What we cannot do is have other households in our garden or house, nor go inside to the pub with another household although we could sit outside. So people on the Manchester train are not necessarily doing anything wrong, it depends where they go when in Southport.

2mason16 Sat 08-Aug-20 17:36:33

Met up with my lovely sister ladt weekend after 6 months apart. We were so good keeping our distance all day. When it came time to say goodbye my husband said lets get a photo of you both. We smiled and hugged each other!! Completely forgot! We had been so happy - whoops!

honeyrose Sat 08-Aug-20 17:38:31

I have not hugged my 2 year old twin GDs since before lockdown and absolutely aching to do so. Have seen them in their garden a few times and sometimes helped with gardening whilst there and, being only 2 year olds, they come up to us as before this pandemic, we were really close. DH and I used to look after the twins at least twice a week whilst DD and SIL working. DD back to work as a teacher next month and we don’t know whether we’ll be able to look after the twins. Hard to SD when they’re so young and don’t understand. Have seen other grandparents hugging their little GC and it really hurts that we feel we can’t. DD has anxiety problems and COVID has only made matters worse. It’s so strange - those things we would normally have taken for granted, we can’t now do.

Sparklefizz Sat 08-Aug-20 18:47:30

I have not hugged any member of my family since before lockdown. It feels awful. I was worried I would burst into tears just when I first saw them on Zoom but I managed to hold it together. We have socially distanced garden visits but no one has come into my house. I live on my own.

You're not alone Gingergirl.

Daisymae Sat 08-Aug-20 19:49:51

We are just like you, distanced, seeing relatives and just last week friends, in garden and no contact. My neighbours are looking after GC and other people I know are having relatives to stay, that includes doctors. But you have to assess your risks. The infection rate in our area is low but to be honest I do feel that we may be in for a tense autumn/winter. So although I am torn, this is by no means over and I feel that we are taking all sensible precautions. I have allowed family members to use the loo over the last week or so, but taking special care with regard to sanitizing. When the weather changes I will allow family into the house, but distancing as much as possible. That assumes a low infection rate, if it starts to build then its back to square one.

Jillybird Sat 08-Aug-20 20:02:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aonk Sat 08-Aug-20 20:08:05

We are now spending some time with our AC, their partners and the GC. We have come to an agreement that we should do this for now. The GC will be back at school soon and the AC will eventually stop working at home. The weather will get colder and there could be a second wave. So we are enjoying this brief respite.

ElaineI Sat 08-Aug-20 20:24:06

Meema that's what I thought and also you can meet people indoors from 2 other households and even stay over socially distancing as much as possible. It sounds like some are being extremely cautious beyond the guidance though I can understand it. However it is not fair to criticise people who are following the guidance but not being as extreme as yourself if you are over cautious. My DD1 is a teacher and could not go back to work next week if we didn't do the child care and many teachers are in the same position. You can't have it both ways. DD2 is a nurse and formed a household with us just before the start of lockdown. She had no option but to go to work though was classed as category 2 as mental health and not dealing with Covid. Teachers were not classed as key workers so DD1 had to stay home with her own children when schools closed. It's all a bit of a muddle. It does sound like the recent outbreaks are mainly young people with minor or no symptoms so I wonder if they are partly creating the herd immunity that was mentioned. Perhaps someone who is a doctor could answer this.

MarieEliza Sat 08-Aug-20 21:28:47

I hugged my 2 grandsons aged 5 and 3 after four months. I couldn’t resist but have been sensible otherwise. They didn’t stay overnight and we played mainly in the garden with them

Jaxjacky Sat 08-Aug-20 21:42:34

Two GC, 7 and 12, we’re in England, first bbq last week with them and DD, no hugs, SD, separate cutlery, plates. DD has asked if we can have them overnight next week, distancing they both understand, but I’m undecided. I have managed BP, DH nothing.

Soniah Sat 08-Aug-20 21:46:11

Have had our son, DIL and two grandson's staying now the rules have relaxed a little, they didn't come until they had isolated for two weeks so low risk. You have to do what is legal and what you are comfortable with. Not been to a shop, pub etc. but have had a couple of takeaway meals from trusted sources all very well organised, had a picnic on the beach with a friend and had friends, individually to the garden for a cup of tea. I'm making the most of it while the weather is good and we can as once the children are back at school we won't see them unless the virus incidence in the area is very low and I fear we will be in lockdown again this winter. The risk has lessened but the virus is still with us, you have to balance the risk with your mental health and quality of life