Oh dear I'm feeling pretty surplus to requirements and all over a cake. My eldest GD (my daughter's daughter) turns 18 in a few weeks and subject to CV19 rules on gatherings her family are planning a garden party/bbq.
I've been very involved throughout her growing up from child minding her for 2 days a week from the age of 3 months through to doing the school run a few days a week, taking her on holiday and generally helping daughter with her and her younger sister whenever needed. SIL is away fairly often on business and D works so I've always filled the gap in childcare.
One of my hobbies is cake making and decorating and it's been a privilege to have made a cake for her christening and all of her birthdays. Any kind of design she's wanted I've done, ballerina on a stage, fairy castle, Hannah Montana guitar, watermelon (yes that was a thing a few years ago) pair of tap shoes, replica of her favourite leotard etc. Ive always done these at my own expense too. So yesterday when I was chatting on the phone to D I happened to say about GD and no doubt she will want the usual birthday cake only to be told that GDs friend is making it. Then D said it was because they didn't know what were were doing. We are currently away in our motorhome and have been for 4 weeks and I'd sent a text last Friday confirming we'd be home this coming friday. That's a good 3 weeks before the party so they did know what we were doing!
I mumbled something about of course we would be coming back in time as how could we miss such a milestone birthday and I'd already said when we left we'd be away about a month or so.
I really am quite upset that I won't be making her 18th birthday cake. It's not like it's just any old birthday its a significant one. I suppose that sounds pathetic but if GD or D had just phoned or texted to say the friend had offered and would I mind then yes it would still be a bit disappointing but at least they'd have considered how I might feel and been good mannered enough to ask or whatever. I'm also upset, given how involved I am helping out whenever they need me to, that they could even think we would miss her 18th!
D is quite a prickly person at times and while she seems to have endless patience for her service users (she works in the mental health sector) she often gets huffy with me or loses patience if I complain about anything. I know if I tell her I'm upset that I won't be making the cake I will get the eye roll and it will be turned back on me as my fault for going away, for being childish and made to feel bad. Husband says stop caring so much and doing things for them but I'm not made that way. I should just swallow it down and move on but I can't get the feeling of being surplus now out of my head. GD has asked my husband to help teach her to drive and when he phones my D she always answers yet I can ring a couple of times and she will not pick up or phone back if she's busy but she's soon on the phone if she needs help with something.
I know as children get older their friends are more important than their parents or grandparents but I still feel like I've had a slap in the face. Sorry just needed to vent
Good Morning Saturday 25th March 2023
Out of the mouths of babes ........