Phones etc and manners

That's so rude. Tell him plainly. I refuse to talk when my husband used to do this. My husband's a good man, but spends a lot of time scrolling or on fb. Even our grown up kids have had words with him about this obsession! He cannot see he has taken on the behaviours we used to criticise so much in others! I've told him that he is not 'here' when he spends so long doing this, while he 'virtually' talks to all sorts of people, and we might as well be in separate rooms. Often he'll pick up his phone as a signal that he's bored with what we're watching (often my choice), and I have that annoying movement of the finger swipe out of the corner of my eye. He tries to put the phone down more often lately, but the 'retraining' is hard work! I shall persevere. Sometimes he'll leave the phone out in the hall now so can still hear it if it rings.

We are many who find this kind of behaviour very rude, but we never hear the other point of view.

It is as if those who check their phones constantly have given up trying to explain why they do so.

It would be interesting to hear their reasoning.

Very rude, and very irritating. My Husband is obsessed with his phone, as soon as he comes home he takes out his mobile and can sit any length of time looking at everything, FB, texts, stupid videos people have sent,I often think I am invisible,I have stopped talking when he is like this as he doesnt hear/ listen.I make sure when I have something to say, he hasnt got his phone near him,this is very seldom I might add. So many rude people about because of mobile phones,its ridiculous.

I got rid of my phone a couple of years ago ,sadly we have a friend to puts our names on her posts from anywhere we go together ...so its with Mr and Mrs Paddy at venue .If I wanted folk to know my comings and goings I'd tell them myself .No matter how many times I explained it to her she still does it .

PipandFin
Please continue to take your mobile with you when you go out. And if you haven't, please put in ice 1 & ice 2 numbers.
These are numbers the emergency services can contact if you have an accident etc and are unconscious.

He clearly doesn’t care what you have to say, so off he goes to his phone as it’s more interesting. If it was me I’d stop telling him anything then when something happens and he said well you never told me , then you can tell him why. Stop putting yourself through it when you know what he’s going to do and it annoys you, or what others say take phone away first then talk to him then hand it back afterwards like he’s a child.
Unfortunately it’s the way of the world.

A famous quote is “He is just not in to you”. Go, it does not have to be permanent, but see how he manages your absence, about four months should do it. Your might enjoy his total absence?

It is rude. Next time he does this, text him and said you'd like a word when he has a minute. I don't use face book, but I'm guessing if you posted that on his page it might be even more effective.
I had a friend that would invite me to the pub and then check in with everyone else she knew on her phone. I put kindle on my phone and read a book while she kept up with her social networking. She was miffed!

I feel annoyed when I see a customer using their phone when they are being served by an assistant or cashier. I would be tempted to sit there until they had either finished their chat or got the message that I wasn't impressed before serving them.

Our chemist has a brilliant sign on the counter "we can see your call is important to you, so we won't interrupt by serving you"

My daughter has decided to buy a basic phone to take out and about, just in case her children need her urgently. Apart from that her smart phone will remain at home. Two reasons:

1. The tracking ability of companies. Who knows what they are doing with data.

2. She’s fed up with being available all the time.

Phones are not allowed at the dinner table at all, for anyone.

I also feel it’s extremely bad manners to spend time on the phone in company. I tend to leave my phone at home. Very little is so urgent that it can’t wait a couple of hours. We managed to survive with public telephones and landlines without stressing.

As for DH! Well, I won’t talk to him if he has his face in the phone, watches tv etc. It drives me nuts, especially as he is partially deaf.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

My kids used to to this at the dining table so they weren't fed until the phone was off or in their rooms.

I just stop talking. And then when, or IF, he wants to pick the conversation up again I just say I've forgotten what I was saying... which annoys him. Touché. One does begin to wonder if there is actually anything worth talking about.

Book a short break with a friend, when he complains (he will), just tell him you mentioned it several times and as he didn’t say no you assumed it was okay.
He will start listening to you in future. If he doesn’t buy yourself a new car.

It’s telling you straight away that he is not overly interested in what you are saying, really rude and bad mannered .... so many people are like it now tho. The art of normal conversation is getting lost !

I would do something similar when he is talking to you about something and wants you to listen. Pick up a book or magazine and start to read it intently. Or look out of the window and start singing to yourself softly but audibly. When he says something about your behaviour, point out to him that now he knows how it feels when he does that sort of thing to you. If he does it again, get up and walk away, even if you are mid sentence. It's awful to feel ignored or as if someone (specially your OH) is bored by what you are saying. He is incredibly rude to you and needs to stop doing that.

There was time when we were pleased to have a phone interrupt one of our concerts. Our conductor told the audience that her daughter was in labour, and put her phone on the music stand. Luckily it rang between songs. There was a deathly hush while she answered it, then, “It’s a boy”. He received a standing ovation!

It's rude and demeaning

Before mobile phones we did have nearly as much communication whether warranted or not. How many times did your landline ring in a day? There is this compulsion to have everything instantly now and a mobile certainly feeds that. Anyone persisting in looking at a phone mid discussion would find me disappearing and leaving them to it. There would be no further verbal communication. I would message them no matter how insignificant and then ignore any written response. Height of bad manners. Is that why so many people shout nowadays, the art of speaking is disappearing.

My husband is the same with his iPad. He’s on it from the minute he gets up to the minute he goes to bed. No conversation and very often he ignores me if I try to start one or mention something to him. On rare occasions he answers but still with his head in the iPad. It’s hurtful and I’m left feeling lonely and of no worth.
On occasion he has complained that I haven’t told him something, when I say that I did but his head was in his iPad he refuses to speak.
If the tv is on during the evening he sits in front of it still on the iPad, I really don’t know what to do or how to cope with it any more.
This has caused so many rows that now we live pretty much in silence and in separate rooms He also spends time on the main computer which is his so I have no access to it. All of this started nearly four years ago, I don’t think he will change now as we are both mid to late sixties.

Ps we were once at funeral when a ladies phone rang with Mission Impossible music (honest) she was so flustered she couldn’t find it in her bag for ages! Yikes!

Your OH actions are extremely rude and dismissive towards you. I would fight fire with fire, when he wants a cuppa, his dinner, clean socks etc just sit back and ignore him, he will soon get the message.

I get very irritated by people who ignore a simple request via email or phone call for information which will ultimately be in their best interest; these people seem to think that I have a crystal ball!

Walk away when he starts a conversation. He needs to know how it feels to be disrespected.

We were invited out for a meal to meet our son's girlfriends parents and we sat there for some time, feeling very uncomfortable, when both of her parents, and my son and his girlfriend, were busy on their mobiles. It is not only rude, but embarrassing. So it's not only young people! We've since learnt that her parents constantly post photos of their meals, or their glasses of wine on social media with the message 'out for a lovely meal'!! Hence, I loathe seeing photos of other people's meals and drinks now!!! I just don't understand the reason - is it to show off, to make others jealous, to show what fish and chips looks like, or perhaps to tell the burglars you are out so they can break in??!!!!