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Phones etc and manners

(110 Posts)
ClareAB Fri 21-Aug-20 12:54:51

My OH drives me mad when, in the middle of a conversation, he picks up his phone or computer and starts scrolling, answering messages etc. It feels like he's simply not interested, disengaged and bored.
It has got to the stage where if he picks up his phone and looks at it whilst I'm talking, I simply walk away and tell him I think it's rude.
He either doesn't get it, or simply doesn't care. Am I being unreasonable to find this aggravating and rude?

B9exchange Fri 21-Aug-20 13:18:40

No, it is rude. If you want to talk to him about something important, I would take his phone away first! grin

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 21-Aug-20 13:24:08

It is bad mannered. I expect the only thing is to walk away even if you're in mid-sentence. If he asks why then say that if he can't give you his full attention you're not going to engage in 'half a conversation.'

Chewbacca Fri 21-Aug-20 13:29:57

This really irritates me; I consider it the height of bad manners. My ex did it constantly and, as lovebeige suggests, I just stopped speaking and walked away. It didn't stop him. And that's another reason that he's "ex".

The other thing that annoys me is people being served in shops or supermarkets, who continue with their phone call conversation, whilst not even acknowledging the existence of the person serving them. Damned rude.

Doodledog Fri 21-Aug-20 13:39:00

I agree that it's rude. Before Covid, I was in a city centre pub and saw a group of young people sitting together. None of them spoke to any of the others - they were all on their phones, tapping away. It went on for far too long for it to have been a case of checking on missing people - they seemed set for the night when we left. I was with my son, who was around the same age as the young people, and he thought it was strange behaviour too.

Elegran Fri 21-Aug-20 13:51:22

Clare Fight fire with fire. Next time he telling you some rivetting account of his day, pick up a magazine and start to read it. Out loud if you feel like it.

timetogo2016 Fri 21-Aug-20 14:27:23

Yes you are right Elegran.
Another idea would be to just stop talking to him.

rockgran Fri 21-Aug-20 14:30:09

Maybe you should call him on his phone for a chat!

annep1 Fri 21-Aug-20 14:58:52

My husband does this too. I have been known to take his phone off him and close the cover before continuing. He also scrolls through Facebook and plays silly posts out loud. I have to keep telling him to use his earphones. I don't want to hear!
He is an intelligent person. I just don't get it.
I think they are a bit obsessed.

Bathsheba Fri 21-Aug-20 15:09:13

It’s very rude. I also get irritated when someone visits me, sits down for a chat with a cuppa I’ve made them, and then proceeds to answer every phone call and text message that comes in. One who does this regularly will jump on her children if they interrupt, but seems incapable of recognising the irony of allowing her phone to constantly do the same ?

phoenix Fri 21-Aug-20 15:51:28

I remember a few years ago, when Mr P was working away, I invited 2 friends round for a meal on my birthday.

One was the perfect guest, brought flowers and a bottle of wine, the other brought nothing, not that I was expecting anything, but I always take something when invited to dinner/supper.

The one who brought nothing also put her phone on the table and responded to every text and email that she received!

I was less than impressed, they were invited for their company and to share a meal together, hoping that we could have a fun evening, not for me and the other friend to sit there while she texted her new chap in America!

AGAA4 Fri 21-Aug-20 16:49:09

It is very rude to check your phone when someone is talking to you.
I have noticed in coffee shops people meeting up and first thing they do is to put their phones on the table in front of them.
I would much rather have a face to face conversation than answer texts.

Grandmabatty Fri 21-Aug-20 16:49:57

Happened regularly as a teacher at parents nights. I would be giving my report and one of the parents would answer their phone.

honeyrose Fri 21-Aug-20 18:45:13

Very rude. It seems the phone is king for many people!

LadyBella Fri 21-Aug-20 18:51:06

Everyone I know does this! My best friend, when we are out for the day, checks her phone constantly for messages and sends replies. I am supposed to just sit and wait. She always shares the "fun" with me and reads out the messages or the jokes but it's usually from someone I don't even know. It is SO RUDE but what can we do!

annep1 Fri 21-Aug-20 18:51:11

I don't take my phone wirh me any longer when I go out. I feel so free.

Esspee Fri 21-Aug-20 18:56:51

It is an addiction so they need to want to overcome it, just like any other addiction.
Personally I would have to say something.

MissAdventure Fri 21-Aug-20 18:59:12

I used to work with someone who was always on her phone.

She had the cheek to hold her palm up to you, in a "shhh! Be quiet!" gesture, if you tried to interrupt her to talk about work. angry

annep1 Fri 21-Aug-20 20:31:28

wirh with

ClareAB Fri 21-Aug-20 22:35:20

I just can't understand why people are so distracted by life online, when the real thing is right in front of them...

MissAdventure Fri 21-Aug-20 22:36:36

My ex was always glued to his phone.
It's an addiction, I think.

PipandFinn Sat 22-Aug-20 09:35:26


I don't take my phone wirh me any longer when I go out. I feel so free.

I'm going to do this. Great idea....

Mooney59 Sat 22-Aug-20 09:36:53

Time to leave. If he is more interested in his phone he mustn’t care anymore. That happens. Cut your losses and separate.

polnan Sat 22-Aug-20 09:39:05

I see in the media etc. that this is a common complaint against most mobile phone users.

this is the difference between mobile phones and landlines

didn`t we just used to ignore the landline phone ringing, if we were in company? or talking?

mobile phones rule!

Suzey Sat 22-Aug-20 09:39:17

Yes rude he's obviously not interested in what you are saying my husband doesn't have a phone but when I talk to him his eyes remain on the tv screen