We teach people how to treat us. I would start with making your own plans and then just letting them know you are going to busy on these days. This will give them a chance to make other arrangements and will show them that you are planning on managing your time more for yourself. If you have committed to looking after grandchildren for years, then you can say you are going to change your schedule in 6 months ( or some reasonable flexible time) and no longer able to watch them monday to friday or whatever fixed period you have. Understand you do not have to defend your actions. Your actions are just factual, not emotional. Therefore if emotion is thrown back you just say the same thing. You are adjusting your life schedule and as of x date you are only available once a week, or once a month, or whatever YOU have decided. Every time they throw it back (guilt) you just repeat the same thing. If you change what you say, it means you are negotiable so its extremely important you just factually state what you are able to do. As a 6o year old grandma, I can only do one half day a week. No overnights. It's just too difficult for me. So, it is okay to say what you can do, and what you can no longer do. Try practicing your dialog before you speak with them. Keep it very short. Say, i have so enjoyed watching the grandchildren. (no buts) I love them dearly. I am going to have to change our arrangements. I'm getting older and I need more rest time. This is what I am suggesting. Then you tell them what you are willing to do, and when it will change. - It's a positive way of speaking to them without being defensive (you shouldn't have to be) and they are grown ups, they can figure it out. Good luck and let us know how it goes. Make some plans! You earned it!