AIBU about other peoples visitors

Chewbacca

As annoying and frustrating as it is, you can only control your own behaviour, you can't control any one else's. But if you feel very strongly about it, would you go so far as to report them to the police? And if you did, would they do anything about it? And how would that affect your neighbourly relations for the future? Personally, I'd rather say nowt and let your neighbours get on with it, but it's your choice.

The OP did not say she was considering reporting them or saying anything. She said she was p***ed off and some of us can empathise with that. We know we can’t control the behaviour of selfish people but their behaviour can end up affecting us so we’ve à right to feel annoyed by that. She is NBU

I would try to not let their behaviour get to you although it's difficult.b We have unexpectedly gone into Tier 2 and I have to say that I am glad that we saw the family outside during the good weather. It would have been a long winter otherwise.

Marydoll your bulb planting made me smile. As a child we had a neighbour who would tell us the comings and goings of the whole neighbourhood that she’d noticed “when I was dusting”. My dad commented that her window sills must have been the cleanest in the whole of Glasgow!

The OP did not say she was considering reporting them or saying anything. She said she was p***ed off and some of us can empathise with that. We know we can’t control the behaviour of selfish people but their behaviour can end up affecting us so we’ve à right to feel annoyed by that. She is NBU

I didn't say that she was being unreasonable I don't think suziwuziee? Those of us who are doing "the right thing" can be as pissed off as we like but it won't change a damned thing, because selfish people, who think that "the rules" don't apply to them, don't give a toss what other people think in the first place; that's why they're acting as they are. But getting het up about it won't change anything. So you either have to turn a blind eye to it, or do,something about it. I can't see any other alternative, can you?

I think the point is that being annoyed is fine as long as it doesn’t eat away at you. I don’t think the OP is BU ( or was het up) and posting on here is a way of getting it out of your system imo and emotionally healthy. What I think is BU is throwing around nasty comments about curtain twitching.

Something that I find upsetting is people saying they are not following the guidance because they miss their family too much. That makes me feel as if I am in the wrong and that I can't be missing my family. I miss my family just as much as anybody.

Flakesdayout is right to be angry because virus has no sense of fairness and infects compliant people who try to behave well.

It is best to be stoical and accept there are always going to be people who risk others' health.

As you live in Tier Two FDO, then obviously no one at all should be going into your neighbour’s house, unless they are in a bubble with your neighbour, or people are going in on a caring basis, as caring is allowed. But I’d ignore it if I was you, you’ll still have to get along with your neighbour after this is all over, as I trust it will be in due course.

We can only control our own behaviour. I wish everyone had abided by the guidance. but they haven't. Sorry to be repetitive but Demonic Cummings did Mr Johnson no favours in those early days. Now we have the SNP MP who puts Mr Cummings in the shade so far as blatant disregard for guidance and rules.
Their behaviour hasn't made me start breaching the guidance. I know my neighbours are doing their best and that's what I'm doing.
I suggest we all sing the chorus from Frozen and LET IT GOOOOO

Ilovecheese

Something that I find upsetting is people saying they are not following the guidance because they miss their family too much. That makes me feel as if I am in the wrong and that I can't be missing my family. I miss my family just as much as anybody.

I completely understand this, and it’s such an unfair thing to say.

As to whether it’s worth getting annoyed about others - that is largely down to personality, I think. I am not particularly interested in what the neighbours do, and on the whole I mind my own business, and hate it when others interfere with my choices. Others are exactly the opposite and neither is (objectively) ‘right’. My comment about curtain twitching was not ‘nasty’, incidentally- I was making the point that whoever used the phrase first was probably not meaning it literally, but as a metaphor for commenting on the comings and goings of others, which has become a feature if the pandemic.

Th OP asked for opinions and got them. Getting get up about posters’ opinions about whether the OP should get het up about her neighbours is, to me, such a pointless exercise that it is bewildering to me, but each to her own .

Marydoll same here in Glasgow. The neighbours don’t seem to care and we are sticking to it. If everyone sticks to it it’ll be over sooner.

How do I reply and make the person I’m mentioning in bold please?

Not unreasonable, but getting get up about it will just raise your blood pressure and stress affects your mental health.
Can you sit somewhere where you don’t see it happening?

Too many people begin their sentences with ‘I was only...’ ‘I’m just...’ ‘Dominic Cummings did...’
It is everyone’s civic duty to comply - the virus doesn’t move, the people move the virus!

Quickfire9 add an asterisk before and after the name.

Quickire, you can either use the Quote function or if the post is very long, put a * at the beginning and end of the person's name. No spaces.
* Quicikfire * won't work, there must be no spaces.

Welcome to another Weegie!

Trouble is people have lost all respect for the government. I will follow rules when they make sense, but right now I follow my own rules and like your neighbour if I want to have friends round I will. Of course I make sure we all keep our distance and wash hands etc but I am not locking myself away. Trust me, the government's rules will change again as they can't make their minds up!
So many nosey neighbours, twitching behind their curtains. To be honest makes me sick!!

QuickFire9

How do I reply and make the person I’m mentioning in bold please?

You put a * at the beginning and end of their name, with no spaces. I can't show you as it will just show a word in bold .

I agree with Illte who is saying that you have to apply common sense. We know that close contact with someone who has the virus must be avoided, we don't need a rule to tell us that. We don't know for sure who has it or who doesn't so we have to avoid close contact with everyone except your own household. My Dh and I would love to go back to some of our clubs and interests and also visit our family but we don't want to be ill. Simple really.

So many seem to think it’s ok to break the rules. Reporting people will only cause bad feeling with neighbours, probably better to keep your distance from rule breakers. I think we all need to consider if we did catch Covid, apart from ourselves who could we come into contact with and whether catching Covid could be serious for those people. Do you want someone’s death or deteriorated health on your conscience? Personally I prefer to reduce visitors to my home and visiting others at the moment, it’s hard but hopefully things will get better soon.

There are many people out there who consider themselves "entitled" to do whatever they want, despite the guidelines. My neighbours came back from a French holiday several days after the quarantine restritions came into force. They did not quarantine and were quite blatant about going in and out and having visitors. And there is an elderly, vulnerable parent in the same household (who did not accompany them on the holiday). Also they are always having people visiting and are currently having work done in the house with builders and decorators coming and going. It makes me angry especially as my husband and I are shutting ourselves away to keep safe. It is not clear how to report such people and remain anonymous (we have to live next door and don't want a war). I think those of us who are toeing the line will need therapy when and if this all ends!

Hi and no I don’t think you’re being unreasonable feeling fed up with this and especially when you’d love to see your family too! That said, some people seem to think that if their visitor is from tier 1 when they are in tier 2, it’s all ok! Likewise with the bubble thing, which apart from a support bubble, or those providing child care, I’m heartedly sick of hearing about them! If you’re friendly with your neighbour, you could drop into conversation that you’re confused(even if you’re not) and could she clarify who you can and can’t have in your house....it would be interesting to hear the response.

I have found among my friends/ neighbours and relations that the majority have tweaked or even gone against the guidelines to suit themselves. If talking about it ( as it’s such a hot topic, though getting like politics and religion and should probably be avoided) they quite happily say that they do what they feel comfortable with and are always saying of course we know you are very cautious!! I’ve now given up saying I just follow guidelines and try and get on with life , but avoid meeting in person the ones that have really ( imho ) gone too far ie. had folk staying overnight etc.

My next door neighbours on one side have not stuck to the rules all along - from several visits a day to the local shop (to the point where the manager of the shop had to speak to them) and various visitors at odd times over the last few weeks.
My son worked from home for 3 months, then went back to work when told to- apart from grocery shopping (that we now do online click and collect) he hasn't been out socially.
As for me, the furthest I have been from the house is to go by car a few miles away to take my cat to the pet crematorium!
Frustrating as it is and knowing that other people's lack of care is probably not helping the control of this pandemic, there isn't a lot that you can do but keep yourself as safe as possible

I've seen the very same with our neighbours. My wife and I were shielded for 5 months and are now facing another lockdown. You cannot say anything as it's their life even though we know they are doing wrong. We have neighbours having visitors inside and one that travels in and out of the next county to see his girlfriend. It's wrong and we know it's wrong. Still, we look after ourselves. To keep the peace just ignore them.