My friend has multible support bubbles

Nan0 that’s quite a selfish attitude, luckily we don’t all do that or the numbers would be in thousands per 100,000 again.

I am 82 have no family. Have two friends both in the same situation. I see both if them separately. None of us meet anyone else. I drive so shop for them. It's ok if you live with someone. People's mental health has to be considered.

I am confused, my DD and grandson are in my bubble (aren't I lucky), but her DH is in a bubble for work.
Obviously we don't see him, and she doesn't see his work colleagues, but surely the bubbles overlap?

If I was your friend I’m not sure I would be telling you my secrets?
It’s probably not appropriate putting things about your friend on here? Maybe a quiet word would be better?

recklessgran
I think caring duties are excepted from the bubble set up.
I'm sure you're fine

Dear Recklessgran
You are not breaking the law as you are caring for vulnerable adults. Here is the link to the government website
www.gov.uk/guidance/local-covid-alert-level-high
Sending big hugs x

She should only have 1 bubble...my friend had to choose which one of her daughters she had and as she had a number of hospital appointments chose the one who was more flexible...what your friend is doing is wrong

recklessgran, you are just doing what you have to do. I can't speak for the rules in your area but where I am, care giving is allowed.

I don't think it is quite as clear cut as some are suggesting tbh. There are issues of grandparents giving care to grandchildren, for example, which will muddy the waters.

In my own case I live alone. I have long term mental health issues to deal with and physical problems emerging. I have one adult sin living close by but he has a mild learning disability and is autistic. He is very vulnerable and has found his way into the justice system because of this. I am his primary support in the community. I guess we are in a support bubble. But what about ME? I really cannot manage my way through this without support from another son and daughter-in-law who live 15 mins away. I try to give support with their 2 children (5 and 3). So if I were choosing a support bubble I would choose them not my oldest son! I cannot exist with providing support to a disabled person who is operating at a low level. I love him very dearly but it can be very draining and I need to make sure my own mental health stays as stable as possible. Having said all that it does sound as if your friend is conveniently forming 3 bubbles. I think they should have considered the needs of disabled people when putting rules in place.

Thank you so much all for your lovely comments and hugs. Much appreciated. FWIW we are not in a high tier area but even if we were it wouldn't make any difference to my stance on doing the right thing. It's just that I've been creeping around worrying and feeling that I need to be looking over my shoulder every time I go from mum's house straight to my daughter's. I know it's ridiculous - I am a very happy, confident and cheery person normally. Just finding the rules so confusing and feeling as though I'm working to my own agenda which doesn't feel right for the "greater good" if you see what I mean.

Your friend is one of the reasons why we're not making the headway in reducing the virus as much as we should be. ONE support bubble, not umpteen. She may be lucky and not get infected or anyone in her support bubbles. BUT we cannot know that. That's the whole point.

To those of you who say we should mind our own business, it is ALL our business. It's a knock-on effect. All it takes is ONE person, one infected person who may not show symptoms, and then we start all over again.

I've seen my boyfriend once since March, and since the introduction of the Tiers I cannot see him as his support bubble is his brother & family who live nearby.

Probably get hung, drawn and quartered for this comment.
Having being widowed at the beginning of lockdown I find it very difficult to choose between my daughter and son as my bubble. The thought of not being able to support them after their father's death or not seeing them for perhaps another year is awful. I manage my situation by isolating myself for two weeks after either one of them has visited and before either one of them visits again. They obey the prevailing rules regarding crossing county borders, they do not stay overnight and never meet at my house together; we don't hug and I do not mix with the general populace - technically I am bending the rules - one size doesn't fit all so I await verbal execution on Gransnet!!

The more individuals you meet the more opportunity for the virus to spread. We ALL should be keeping physical meeting to an absolute minimum. No wonder 'it' is thriving. I weep for the officials whom everyone is blaming. They are doing their best.

Hugs to you @Thistlelass. Solidarity sister - I am of the opinion that you are doing nothing wrong. The vulnerable need to be cared for and I think that includes you. Please try to be kind to yourself!

@ therustyfairy so sorry for your recent loss. You must be going through hell. Terribly hard in normal times but during a pandemic, absolutely awful.
Sounds to me that you’ve devised a really workable plan that enables you to have contact but mitigate the risks.
If only the rest of the population could come up with similar workable plans.

If people cheat the lock down instructions why are earth do they brag about it?

No one stays at home because they may have a car accident that day. Viruses are the same thing. Everyone dies of something some time. I am being careful with this virus just as I am being careful when I drive but I am not letting it rule what I do.

Therustyfairy I'm so sorry that your darling DH has passed away. Hugs and flowers to you. I don't think you are doing anything wrong at all - you need each other right now and are doing whatever it takes to get through hard times together. I'd take a bet that you're all observing all the other obligations on the Covid agenda!

I would agree with poster who said keep out of it. I have great sympathy with those lives don't easily fit into whatever rules have currently been imposed on where they live and also those who find much of it illogcal.
Slightly off topic 'selfish' is my new most hated word, or rather seeing it bandied about constantly as an accusation.

therustyfairy - So sorry to hear of your loss. You are allowed to provide emotional support which your family needs at this time. As CleoPanda says you've got a perfect working plan, very well thought out.

Exactly as Su

I only know one person flouting the law. She has told the children they are in a bubble with 2 different households. What message does that send to the children? If you don't like the law you ignore it! The selfishness of people always amazes me because I wasn't brought up like that.

We were taught in schools to put the other person's name first when speaking or writing as in 'Fred and I are ........................' No one says that anymore now its 'me and Fred' which sums up the attitude of always me first. Sorry for that rant.

Oops hit the post button accidentally. Exactly as suziewoozie says!

ExD. Your 'friend' sounds very unkind. To accuse you of being heartless in your situation was horrible. You are doing the right thing, and I think perhaps she feels guilty.

Your friends claims she has multiple support bubbles????? In reality, she is putting herself at multiple risk by associating in her home with so many people who, no doubt mix with other people, teachers, employers, work colleagues, friends, other relatives!!!!!! Stupid woman! With a mentality like that we will never be rid of this virus.

You seem to have a more responsible approach though.