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Aibu to think people really don’t get it?

(63 Posts)
Youcantchoosethem Sun 29-Nov-20 17:45:41

I tested positive for COVID on Thursday and have had to isolate from my partner and two of my children and my two grandchildren. My third child is in my home but has tested negative so we have had to split the house in two. I can’t console him. I can’t hug him. He can’t go to school. I still have to feed him - he can’t cook for himself and that is a massive challenge. I have to wear full PPE. I’m using separate plates etc for him. Cleaning constantly. I have to keep telling him to keep back and not to come near and it feels so shitty to keep doing that and even spraying the air with an aerosol disinfectant after I have been in the transfer area we have set up. He can’t open his door whilst I’m on the landing. Everything has to go through the dishwasher at high heat - I can’t just rinse a spoon in case it is still contaminated. Obviously neither of us can go anywhere. I can’t hug my partner. I am asthmatic and have other underlying conditions - I had a mild stroke in September and had organ failure 8 years ago - so I am in constant fear of what happens next. At the moment it’s mild. But if it goes to my chest? I get chest infections every year. Is that the last time I will ever have seen my partner and my other two children? Given them a hug? Will my other son be ok locked in his couple of rooms? Can I keep him safe? He’s asthmatic too and has complex special needs. The mental side is so awful. I followed the rules too. Was fanatical about everything clean but I still got it. I don’t know how. But at the moment it’s just a mild case....

Lucca Sun 29-Nov-20 18:01:06

Every good wish to you for a good recovery. I hope people who claim it’s not that serious a situation read your post.

Dorsetcupcake61 Sun 29-Nov-20 19:47:29

Sending best wishes that the infection stays mild and for a speedy recovery💐

cornergran Sun 29-Nov-20 19:53:38

Oh what a horrible situation. Please keep hope, the infection could well stay mild. Every good wish to you, if you can please let us know how you are. flowers.

Casdon Sun 29-Nov-20 19:57:02

Good luck, I hope you escape lightly and the rest of your family aren’t affected, it’s so hard to keep everything virus free.
I do think you’re right, there are plenty of people who really don’t understand the nature of this virus - it’s more comfortable to bury your head in the sand I think, I bet they won’t post on this thread.

FannyCornforth Sun 29-Nov-20 20:01:13

You are correct, many people do not 'get it'.
But for now you need to concentrate your energy on taking care of yourself and your son.
If I were you I would call my GP first thing tomorrow.
I hope that you get some reassurance flowers

Urmstongran Sun 29-Nov-20 20:03:14

Your underlying health concerns are adding to your anxiety and making you upset. I hope your case stays mild.

My daughter and son in law tested positive at the end of September. They had extremely high temps, breathlessness and fatigue - much more than tiredness. Their two jumping bean children at 8y and 3y had to isolate with them for 2 weeks. It was very hard. They tag-minded the children so they could take turns having a couple of hours sleep each during the daytime.

Yes, a ‘mild’ case but debilitating and exhausting for them to cope. No one allowed in to help. The children had a garden to burn off energy fortunately.

I hope you get better soon.

This is a nasty virus.

Atqui Sun 29-Nov-20 22:02:49


Iam64 Sun 29-Nov-20 22:16:18

Sorry to read of your situation.
You are right, many people continue to believe this virus "only" affects a few people badly.

Urmstongran - your daughter's family experience is very similar to that of a young family we know well. Their children are a similar age and the parents were exhausted and quite poorly with the virus. Family delivered food to the door step but as with your family and the OP's, no one can step in to help.

I do hope you recover well yccthem.

Hetty58 Sun 29-Nov-20 22:19:18

Youcantchoosethem, I'm sorry to hear of your illness - and yes, people generally don't really 'get it' until it's close to home or in their family.

Make sure that you get plenty of fluids and rest. Delay doing anything that's not essential (keep meals simple, leave heavy housework) and try to keep your spirits up by maybe watching films or reading books. The time will soon pass.

Lucca Sun 29-Nov-20 22:48:07


Sorry to read of your situation.
You are right, many people continue to believe this virus "only" affects a few people badly.

Urmstongran - your daughter's family experience is very similar to that of a young family we know well. Their children are a similar age and the parents were exhausted and quite poorly with the virus. Family delivered food to the door step but as with your family and the OP's, no one can step in to help.

I do hope you recover well yccthem.

Yes, plus some people argue that it’s only those with underlying conditions who are seriously ill as if those people don’t count.

welbeck Sun 29-Nov-20 22:57:03

OP, could you not get your partner or other relatives/friends to deliver some meals to your door, so you do not have the burden of cooking.
what about take-aways, deliveroo.
the less you have to bother about, the better.
good luck.

Youcantchoosethem Sun 29-Nov-20 23:11:51

Thank you all for your comments and support. @wellbeck unfortunately my partner is also having to self isolate because of close contact with me. He has his own house still which he mainly uses for work so is staying there where he was anyway when we got the results - he is desperate to come and help but I won’t let him as he has underlying issues too and is also vulnerable. I couldn’t live with myself if he got ill and had it worse and I recovered because of him helping me. If he had tested positive as well then he would have been with me but he and my son both tested negative. A friend has also offered to have my son at hers but again he could develop symptoms and then be tested positive anytime within the incubation period which is 11 days generally and again wouldn’t want to put her at risk. Luckily I did have a shop slot booked that came on Saturday from Tesco - have to say they were brilliant and did it all properly as I had let them know I was positive. Thankfully that meant I could get some supplies and did include some ready meals to try to help. Just feel exhausted and all out of sync at the moment x

Hithere Mon 30-Nov-20 00:09:50

What a difficult situation

Hope you and your family will recover soon

Daisymae Mon 30-Nov-20 08:58:35

Don't know how much your son could do, but maybe you could show him how to get some cereal, yoghurt or make toast if you are poorly in the future. I wonder though whether it would be better to take your friend up in her kind offer? For most people it's relatively mild and I really hope you are one of those.

Youcantchoosethem Mon 30-Nov-20 10:12:35

@daisymae he does normally help himself to some things but wouldn’t be able to do a dinner or anything like that, but can’t risk him going through to the kitchen. If anything normally he tries to take too much and eats the wrong things and have to hide things to make sure he doesn’t eat too much sugar/sweets and then not his dinner so I suppose an upside is that at the moment I can control more of the snacks and treats! He is actually coping remarkably at the moment - we’ve certainly had some very upset times and he’s scared of what might happen and I have been sitting on the stairs at times to talk to him at a distance to reassure him but I do think he realises now that he has to be careful too. He knows how much he coughs with his asthma and how an attack feels so we are both wary. Still mild today so that’s a positive - just a more sore throat today added.

cupcake1 Mon 30-Nov-20 10:14:37

Sending flowers and all very best wishes to you and your family. I do hope the virus remains a mild case and you recover soon. x

Helen2806 Mon 30-Nov-20 10:20:34

I’m sure you already know this but are you all taking vitamin D

jaylucy Mon 30-Nov-20 10:25:45

You said your son takes too much food. Would it be possible to bag up things like a serving of cereal and leave it on the work top for him to have - possibly labelled with his name and the day ? If you do a weeks worth at a time and then hide the ones for the other days and put them out the evening before so he can at least get himself breakfast so that if you haven't slept well you can at least grab a couple of hours extra sleep if needed?
Can you reach out to any support groups in your area ? You may well be surprised what they can come up with to help you!
Very best wishes to you all and hope that you feel so much better soon.

Callistemon Mon 30-Nov-20 10:35:47

Wishing you a good recovery, Youcantchoosethem and I hope no-one else has caught it.

You do need to rest as much as possible, so is your son able to help himself to ready food and perhaps microwave some ready meals just for the time being? Let's hope it will be just for a short time before you feel better.

crazygranny Mon 30-Nov-20 10:48:16

Sending much love and all good wishes to you and all your family!

Shalene777 Mon 30-Nov-20 10:49:46

I hope you make a speedy recovery and that the rest of the family stay negative. Just keep thinking of all the things you are going to do for Christmas and into the summer to keep your mind away from negative thoughts. xx

PJN1952 Mon 30-Nov-20 10:51:34

I hope you can recover quickly. My DD and SIL had the virus in late March and the symptoms were not too bad. DD is asthmatic and sadly she is still experiencing unpleasant symptoms. She is v tired, has low iron, has palpitations and chest pains - twice she has been blue-lighted to hospital with suspected heart attack but it is her heart muscle in spasm. Long Covid is a real problem for many folk and is not understood yet. I believe this virus will affect her for a long time to come. ☹️

Cs783 Mon 30-Nov-20 10:55:55

I think you are right ycct in that it takes terrible focus to really 'get it'. Understandably the media (haven't avoided but) aren't crammed with the distressing personal stories. It's tough enough to deal with what we do know. Perhaps this is what happened with the 1918-on epidemic and others that faded from our consciousness.

In contrast there is the long-term impact of the arts in showing the UK WW1 experience - all that literature, painting, sculpture, music, film. I think the some of the bereaved from this epidemic are already working towards having a public memorial that may speak to this.

Cs783 Mon 30-Nov-20 10:58:03

And of course flowers for you