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Husband always ‘ill’

(64 Posts)
EllanVannin Wed 09-Dec-20 22:37:52

Some sort of a depressive illness I'd have said.

Jane10 Wed 09-Dec-20 22:37:25

M0nica- is right. There could be something going on. Alternatively keep a diary and note all his symptoms and says off as they happen then present him with a record of his day's off. Either he's really unwell or he hates his job. Time for you and him to have a think about this.

Luckygirl Wed 09-Dec-20 22:30:08

I can see that this is putting you under pressure; but I suspect that if this thread had been started the other way round and it was the wife who was constantly feeling ill, we would all be telling her to go to the doc and her OH should be more sympathetic!

He may actually be ill poor chap!

BBbevan Wed 09-Dec-20 18:55:12

Think that is called ‘lazyitis’.

merlotgran Wed 09-Dec-20 18:54:37

Tell him to see the doc or pull his socks up.

M0nica Wed 09-Dec-20 18:54:09

Be careful, he could be ill. Not every illness has clear symptoms and a lot that are missed start like the way your husbandis now acting.

When DH started diabetes, his symptoms could have been mistaken for sloth, likewise before his blocked arteries were diagnosed and he had a heart attack and bypass surgery.

Get your DH to see a doctor, preferably with you present so you can describe his behaviour.

I think it is shocking that so many threads just assume he is a lazy sloth amd never even consider illness.

MrsThreadgoode Wed 09-Dec-20 18:50:58

I’m surprised you only ‘feel like’ saying anything, next time he starts telling you how ill he feels tell him you aren’t listening, unless he rings the Doctor and walk away.
It’s a bit worrying if he is taking time off though.
Does he feel that even if he only works infrequently, that he is still earning enough to keep you both once you retire? If so then I can understand him wanting to stay at home!

BlueSky Wed 09-Dec-20 18:49:05

First of all a check up with his GP to see if there’s an underlying illness or deficiency. If clean bill of health, then time to discuss your plans for retirement/part time work and how you are going to manage. These things need to be brought into the open and discussed by the two of you.

lemongrove Wed 09-Dec-20 18:06:41

Some people are just like that, you must be used to it I suppose? Is he almost retired a year or so to go? It sounds as if he has had enough of working, is it a tiring physical job?
Do you enjoy your own working days? If so, suggest that he scales back on his jobs, and does a bit of housework while you go to work.If neither of you is happy working, can you manage if it was part time?

glammanana Wed 09-Dec-20 18:02:22

I would make sure any income I earned was put in a separate account from his and let him try paying the bills out of that and when he says he can't afford it tell him to get out and earn it.
It certainly sounds if he is taking you for a soft touch why would you do this ? When I was working full time a certain amount went into a joint account for household bills/food and everything else stayed in our own accounts.
Sounds as though he needs a shake up and a talking to.

Ohmother Wed 09-Dec-20 17:58:43

Yep. To the docs for an MOT pre YOUR retirement.

Calendargirl Wed 09-Dec-20 17:56:59

He obviously doesn’t enjoy his job, whatever it is, so perhaps ought to try and do something different.

Also prefers sitting at home watching day time tv? Sounds like he is the one who is ready to retire.

25Avalon Wed 09-Dec-20 17:56:09

Sounds like he’s having a laugh at your expense. Why should you sub him? If he really isn’t well he should see the doc.

Daisy2018 Wed 09-Dec-20 17:52:27

Please tell me if I’m being unreasonable: my husband has always got something wrong with him. Either a cold, sore throat, aching feet etc. He will tell me his ailments each day which I can ignore most of the time, but over the last few years he is taking more and more time off work. He is self employed and then doesn’t get paid. He’s a few years younger than me and I’m due to retire soon but feel responsible for our income incase he takes too much time off, so not sure if I should carry on working. I just feel like saying man-up and get on with it. He then watches TV all day when he’s ‘ill’ which also drives me mad !