Gransnet forums


AIBU to get a bit annoyed every year with SIL giving us a Christmas card from a pack.

(318 Posts)
Kandinsky Tue 15-Dec-20 13:26:10

She’s my DH’s only sibling - you’d think she’d buy a special, ‘to my brother & family’ type card rather than a card from a box that she probably uses for the neighbours & milkman too.
I always buy ‘special’ cards for immediate family.
Also, they have money so that’s not the issue ( I’d completely understand if it was )


Dottynan Tue 15-Dec-20 14:20:54

We are buying hedgehog food for our local wildlife sanctuary instead of cards

Casdon Tue 15-Dec-20 14:22:28

Individually purchased cards for Christmas are an absolute rip-off in my opinion, I don’t buy them for anybody - what’s important is the message inside, although for very close family I might make a card. So yes, I think you are being unreasonable, sorry.

Froglady Tue 15-Dec-20 14:24:52

My sister and brother-in-law had a card from a pack from me as well.
I think there's more important things to fuss about than sending the 'wrong' card to someone.

25Avalon Tue 15-Dec-20 14:25:14

In previous years I have bought separate cards with titles but even from the cheapo shop it still worked out quite a bit of money. This year whilst I can’t get out I have bought charity packs on line which work out cheaper still and the charity gets a contribution. So my family will have a smaller untitled card but know they are helping.

Minerva Tue 15-Dec-20 14:30:31

....and the milkman too! Reminds me of my father forbidding my mother from shopping at the open market in town because she might be recognised by the wife of one of his employees. Kandinsky’s post gave me the same uncomprehending feeling that I had when I heard him.

LauraNorder Tue 15-Dec-20 14:33:07

Sorry Kadinsky, I agree with most others. Nice that she sends you a card at all.
I do make a 'special card' for the grandchildren, usually something that tickles them.
I did buy a 'special' card for Orlin a few years ago because it was hilarious but didn't say husband on it, it now comes out every year because it remains relevant.
I do buy charity cards and that's what everyone gets. A personal hand written message inside is what's special, in my opinion.

Elegran Tue 15-Dec-20 14:39:58

I am sure everyone is important in their own way, even the milkman. Possibly the milkman is one of the most important ones at this time of self-isolation and relying on regular deliveries.

felice Tue 15-Dec-20 14:42:01

We used to send Christmas cards abroad, but not now, as the postage is expensive and square cards for instance are not normal post so extra.
I just received one from a cousin and it cost £1.45 postage, goodness knows what it will be next year.

Ladyleftfieldlover Tue 15-Dec-20 14:47:43

I don’t buy special cards for anyone! I simply buy packets of charity cards from museum shops, I would never consider buying a card with ‘to my brother’ etc., on it.

Callistemon Tue 15-Dec-20 14:53:19

I used to buy special cards but haven't been near the shops this year so everyone is getting a card from the box of charity cards.
Apart from DH, who is getting a 'special' card which I saved from last year tchgrin

Be thankful you get a card

biba70 Tue 15-Dec-20 14:54:30

AIBU on speed.

Baggs Tue 15-Dec-20 15:00:37

Yes, you are being unreasonable. If I found out that a brother- or sister-in-law of mine felt as you do, I'd be tempted to stop sending a Christmas card at all because what's the point of being cheerily and ordinarily friendly towards someone so unappreciative and picky and full of their own importance?

I would find such an expectation ridiculously manipulative, not to mention childish.

Chewbacca Tue 15-Dec-20 15:02:35

2020..... a worldwide pandemic, millions die, millions more lose their livelihoods, millions of people in poverty, millions of people living in fear and isolation. And someone has sent a Christmas card from a pack.

Marydoll Tue 15-Dec-20 15:04:02

I too think you are being unreasonable. Worse things to worry about at the moment.

I buy nice charity cards, which I think have more meaning than special cards.

Alishka Tue 15-Dec-20 15:11:54

Those shmalzy rhymes inside crack me up! Memories of concocting rhymes in the pub on a Saturday lunchtime with a journalist friend who'd landed such a commission. Much beer drunk while we came up with rhymes.
Happy days!grin

Septimia Tue 15-Dec-20 15:15:53

I sometimes buy a special card for DS and DiL and always for DGD. Everyone else gets one from a pack and that's all I expect from other people, whether family or friends.

A lot of 'special' cards are cringingly saccharine and I wouldn't give them to anyone since I wouldn't say such things to them!!

All the cards I send are charity cards.

welbeck Tue 15-Dec-20 15:16:51

perhaps OP has been over doing it, with binge watching box sets of Hyacinth Bookay.

GagaJo Tue 15-Dec-20 15:19:18

You're lucky you get a card Kandinsky. I've done away with them altogether.

Urmstongran Tue 15-Dec-20 15:26:09

I find the ‘From our House to Your House’ and most ‘specials’ a bit cheesy to be honest. Then again, I’m obviously not consistent as I get grandson and granddaughter cards! I think though that’s because we are the only set of grandparents - our son-in-law’s parents didn’t live to see their grandchildren, sadly.

annodomini Tue 15-Dec-20 15:27:49

I think those 'special' cards are pretty gross. I prefer, as some others do, to choose charity cards and use my own words.

Ilovecheese Tue 15-Dec-20 15:29:45

While I agree that you are perhaps being a tiny bit unreasonable to be annoyed, I must admit that other years I have bought Granddaughter and Grandson cards and "From our house to your house". I rather enjoy the cheesiness. Not this year though as have not been able to go to those sort of shops.

crazyH Tue 15-Dec-20 15:37:02

I buy special cards for my children and grandchildren and my only living brother...and I receive special cards from them. I like the sentiments they contain.....that's just me.

Callistemon Tue 15-Dec-20 15:38:12

"Merry Christmas to Our Dog" anyone?

But I have bought him a present tchblush

Charleygirl5 Tue 15-Dec-20 15:43:19

You are lucky to be receiving a card at all. There are many on GN who have sons who no longer give their mother a thought for various reasons and would be delighted to receive anything.

MiniMoon Tue 15-Dec-20 15:43:31

My mother didn't give "special" cards to family, and when I married DH the first Christmas I didn't either.
My sisters in law thought that I had rather snubbed them when they received a card from my box. Since then I've bought sister and brother in law cards for them, but I don't do it for my own sisters.

It's the thought that counts, be thankful that she sends any type of card.