Hostessing on Christmas Day

Goodness don’t feel like that. They are probably so used to you doing things for them they’ve got out of the habit of doing it for themselves. If I have my mother and father in law for a visit and offer tea he asks my mother in law what he takes in his tea !!! Because he doesn’t know he never makes it for himself !!! Gasp!

not quite sure what your problem is, are you not happy looking after your husband and sister, believe me there are so many so much worse off, sounds like you wont even need to do much cooking

Lucca-???

I too will be doing lions share of stuff in our house for xmas day& boxing day, as my sons 17& 22 both have a disability, but there are some things i suppose they can do if i ask, but i find You HAVE to ask- it doesn't occur to them otherwise, so maybe you could try ask Carenza123? But i know they can manage some stuff as i was very very ill last xmas so they rang their siblings and managed to knock up the xmas dinner by themselves(after a fashion) with much advice- so this year ill ask for their help if i need it! And I dont even have anyone to make me the dinners and just deliver them! So your day should be a piece of (xmas) cake Carenza123!!??

I can`t see that Carenza has responded to any of these,, perhaps some of us have misunderstood her problem(s) and sound a bit harsh?

I also should say that i too have medical issues/disability ive got osteo arthritis in both knees & other joints as well, but im still not resenting xmas! If i need help, i will ask them &see how we get on.Anythings got to be better than how bad it was last year- i was at hosp urgent care xmas early hours then back by ambulance again early boxing day was in bed all week and then as i was getting up& more normal both sons got ill, one more badly as hes got respiratory problem also.so my turn to look after them even more than usual.(now g.p nurse suspects was probably covid before it was a known thing here.) We'd been to italy end of october.

Yes Polnan, but tbf to us all, shes got it made as far as i can see, someone to make/deliver lunch, only probably drinks to make,? Or maybe serve a pud? As you say, maybe shes other problems, but so have many of us got our own health/moblity issues & still soldier on.im just glad im here this xmas!

My son-in-law offered to cook and plate up a Christmas meal for us( tomorrow actually) and my response was How lovely!
I do have to drive for ten minutes to fetch it and I will have to reheat it. Am I complaining? No way! I think it is a very kind and thoughtful offer.
OP I hope you are grateful to your daughter and enjoy your meal.

Crikey - you don't even have to cook! What's the problem?

polnan
What was there to misunderstand? It was a clear as day.

I think I'm alone here, because I can understsand why the OP is miffed, knowing that of the three people in her home, she will be the one doing almost everything that does have to be done, however little that is, thanks to her DD.

In reality, I doubt of has much to do with it being Christmas - probably just a build-up of underlying resentment towards two people who would seem to take her for granted. She may be the 'fittest', but that shouldn't mean that they take the p* and spend the day sitting on their @***s!

It might seem very minor in the scheme of things, but even small things can slowly eat away at you.

Blimey, there are loads of threads where people moan like mad about the most trivial of things. Cut her some slack!

What about packing up the dirty plates after your meal and delivering them back to your daughter. I'm sure she'd be glad to wash up and it would save you from doing it.

I would love someone to cook and deliver my Xmas dinner.
My Dd won’t be doing that for me, even though she lives a short ride away.

Consider yourself lucky.

Hmmm ... now let me think ... are you being unreasonable? Yes. Happy Christmas ?

You have got to get organised first wether it is two or more people if you are then you will enjoy the day

Carenzal23 stop stressing and chill out. The dinner is ready cooked by your extremely lovely and kind dd. You sound like a worrier and rushing around after your dh and sister will only make you a martyr. STOP! Keep it simple. Don’t do a cooked breakfast - cereal or toast - if they don’t like it they can get their own or go without. If you are having wine get the bottle out and ask dh to open it. Put the glasses out and lay up the table the night before. Put a tin of mince pies out ready for dessert.
Don’t forget to ask for help. They may think you like doing it all. Let them help even if it takes them twice as long as it
would you. All 3 of you need to appreciate how fortunate you are to be together this Christmas and if anything is missing at least it isn’t one of you. Happy Christmas!

It sounds to me as though you have it easy, it's your daughter who is doing all he hard work, making the meal and delivering it. All you have to do is serve it. You should be thankful that you're fit enough to do it. Stop grumbling, get on with it and enjoy!!!!

To borrow a question... why is this day different from other days? Answer: because dinner has been cooked by someone else, and this makes up for having two persons, rather than one, using a cane. A person who is opening a can of ravioli, and downing it with a mug of tea, for Christmas... would say you are being unreasonable... and so would most of us here.

To borrow a question... why is this day different from other days? Answer: because dinner has been cooked by someone else, and this makes up for having two persons, rather than one, using a cane. A person who is opening a can of ravioli, and downing it with a mug of tea, for Christmas... would say you are being unreasonable... and so would most of us here.

It sounds as if some people are being a bit snippy and unkind here.
A good rule before responding might be
1) Is it kind?
2) Is it necessary?

Get one of those hostess trolley thingies good luck

Kwest .... we’ll said. It certainly makes me think I would not post as OP on here. The OP in this post is perhaps suffering anxiety and stress looking after her husband. There may be other factors that she has not wished to post and having read the replies to her post I doubt she’ll ever post again. Where did #BeKind go to.

Oh come on. When people ask if they are being unreasonable, it has at least crossed their mind that they are.

I still don't know what 'hostessing' is involved in having your own husband and another family member in the house if someone else is doing the cooking. As has been said, it is a case of serving drinks and maybe clearing up, although depending on the layout of the house, even that might be able to be left until the next day.

If there are other factors in play, the OP could have said, but all people have had to go on is what was in the post. Nobody has said anything unkind - maybe a few have been slightly sarcastic, and one or two have done the 'Top Trumps' thing of pointing out how their situation is worse, but otherwise, people have just answered the question asked.

OP asked if she was being unreasonable and got a fairly unanimous set of replies none of which was unkind unless you are spectacularly sensitive, in which case why post ?
Getting mildly fed up with the oh don’t say anything remotely negative sermons.

Sorry I may have pretty much repeated what you said Doodledog.