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Hostessing on Christmas Day

(104 Posts)
Carenza123 Sun 20-Dec-20 19:55:36

AIBU when I say I am not looking forward to Christmas Day? We are staying in our home rather than going to our daughter and son-in-laws for Christmas Day because of covid. Our daughter is preparing dinner for three of us and she is delivering three Christmas dinners to us at our house about 10 minutes from her home. My husband 74 and I, 72, are having his sister (80) at ours. Thing is, husband and sister walk with a stick and I know I will be up and down most of the day, as the hostess, waiting on my husband and sister as basically I am the fittest.

Jaxjacky Sun 20-Dec-20 20:02:39

They may be a bit slower, but can probably help themselves, I expect, if you can resist hopping up, I assume your sister manages at her home.

avitorl Sun 20-Dec-20 20:03:25

You are so fortunate to be having a cooked meal delivered by your daughter and being able to share it in your home with family.
If you were at your daughters would you be sitting still whilst she ran around waiting on you?

Hetty58 Sun 20-Dec-20 20:04:15

It sounds like hard work (assuming you're not in tier 4 and it still goes ahead). If you have to get on and make the best of it, just keep everything as simple and labour saving as possible.

I know the feeling of dread. I used to work hard (from dawn to dusk) on the day, with a big family and guests. I preferred Boxing day, when, at last, I could sit down and chat with people!

EllanVannin Sun 20-Dec-20 20:08:20

I'm sure if you asked nicely they'd peel you a grape.tchhmm

Daisymae Sun 20-Dec-20 20:11:13

Well as you are at home presumably you won't be doing any more than usual, except there's one extra? You don't have lunch to make and Xmas pud can be microwaved in a few minutes. Most people don't want much more after that. Which is where the Xmas cake and a mince pie can keep people going if need be.

Lucca Sun 20-Dec-20 20:14:22

Gordon Bennett

Marydoll Sun 20-Dec-20 20:21:24

All you have to do is serve up, since all the hard work has been done for you, by your daughter. To be honest I think you are very fortunate in having such a caring daughter.

Lucca Sun 20-Dec-20 20:22:13

Well,that’s what I said!!

Doodledog Sun 20-Dec-20 20:26:57

I can't see the problem, really. I may be missing something, but you are getting meals cooked for you and delivered, spending the day with your husband, which is presumably the usual arrangement, and having one guest, who is family so can probably be asked to help herself.

What sort of fetching and carrying are you expecting to have to do? The food has been done, so there's only likely to be drinks afterwards if you all retire to the sitting room with a bottle of your favourite tipple. You could always give the others a bottle each, so that they can pour their own, if getting up to refill their glasses seems like hard work. Washing up for three with no pans doesn't strike me as onerous, particularly as there will be no pots and pans.

What am I missing?

MawBe Sun 20-Dec-20 20:28:08

Well aren’t you lucky that you are the fittest!
And having your cooking done for you too? I don’t actually get the “hostessing” element involved confused

This has to be a wind- up nobody could be so “entitled” - I too am 72 and would be happy to cook for and host the entire extended family (3x DD, 3x SIL, 5xDGCs sisters in law(2), BIL, nephew , old Uncle Tom Cobbley and all - if circumstances permitted
My DH walked with two sticks for the last years of his life and in the last few months with a walking frame. So what?
You’re having a larf!

MawBe Sun 20-Dec-20 20:28:50


Gordon Bennett


sodapop Sun 20-Dec-20 20:29:11

What Doodledog said.

Revolucion Sun 20-Dec-20 20:34:01

Be happy that you are the best at walking. It must be awful needing a stick to walk. How much “waiting on” can there really be if the meal is delivered to you?
Bah humbug!

JuliaM Sun 20-Dec-20 21:03:17

The one thing that I cannot Manage to do is to Hostess the prepared food out of the kitchen and carry it onto the Table whilst using my trusty Walking stick, any Guests must be prepared to do that bit for themselves!

Grannybags Sun 20-Dec-20 21:10:38

You most definitely are being unreasonable!

Callistemon Sun 20-Dec-20 21:58:56


Gordon Bennett

Is he going as well?

It's only one day
Who does it all the rest of the time- have you given the staff the day off?
That is kind.

I used to find a trolley was useful until the day the dog wolfed down all the sandwiches and cake from the bottom layer while I was making the tea.

Callistemon Sun 20-Dec-20 22:01:06

It sounds like hard work

Not my idea of hard work although it could be yours, Hetty58

Hemelbelle Sun 20-Dec-20 22:06:05

Is it that you feel taken for granted and not appreciated? If so make sure you have some 'me time' (would retiring to your room for an hour or so or going out for a walk help?).

Marydoll Sun 20-Dec-20 22:47:53

It's the OPs daughter who is doing the all hard work. Shopping, preparing, cooking, delivering the meal, probably run ragged and too tired to enjoy her own meal. I know how it feels, because I did it for my own mother for years.
I hope the OP shows her appreciation of her daughter.

The answer to your question? Yes you are being totally unreasonable and entitled into the bargain, unless there is more to the situation than you are letting on.
I would be too embarrassed to ask a question like that on a forum like this.

Callistemon Sun 20-Dec-20 22:59:04


Yes, poor daughter.
Does she have her own family to cater for too?

MawBe Mon 21-Dec-20 00:04:24

Come on, OP this is a wind-up isn’t it? tchgrintchgrin

MawBe Mon 21-Dec-20 00:04:58


I'm sure if you asked nicely they'd peel you a grape.tchhmm


Hithere Mon 21-Dec-20 00:32:34

How nice of your daughter

Why do you have to be the hostess? His sister, he hosts her

They both use a stick all day so they know how to manage and make everything work.

If these arrangements are not suitable for you, feel free to say so and cancel

Lolo81 Mon 21-Dec-20 00:32:44

Not being funny here, but won’t it just be like every other day with your husband? How does it being Christmas change the amount you need to help him (or not)?
Enjoy the free dinner and count your blessings would be my advice.