Is it worth voicing my concern over safety?

I seem to be in a minority here but I'm very nervous with children. A boy in our street died in the local river. A friend broke her arm on the slide on a dry sunny day! Accidents do happen.

Hetty, couldn’t agree more. Children learn by doing, if they fall over then they learn ouch that hurts best not do that again. Unless they are playing with matches, or running with scissors or something equally as life threatening I’d keep my own counsel OP.

janeainsworth

One of my childhood memories is of going out into the street in the dark, in the snow, with the other child inhabitants of the street and making icy slides in the road. You ran up to the start of the slide, & then slid at high speed for at least 10 yards, probably more.

No one died or even broke anything.

That is one of my favourite childhood memories! We were allowed to do it in the playground at primary school.

It's definitely an age thing. I am way more concerned about DGC than I was about my own children. I feel utterly responsible if they fall and bump themselves and dread telling DDs but they both don't bother and reassure me that is how children learn. Actually 2yo's do remember things PollyDolly and 4yo's definitely remember at least ours do. It doesn't always stop them doing it again but they remember or how would they learn anything.

Hmm! Dark and wet playground just don't go!! Expect trouble!

eazybee

Four adults supervising two small children on play equipment and they both were hurt.
Ummm?

Must be great to be so perfect.....Ummmm???

I'd like to hear more about what getting hurt means in this context. As the mother of a 7 year old boy, if it doesn't involve doctors I'd say it doesn't count. Stitches and broken bones are causes for concern.
Bruises and scrapes? Suck it up, buttercup.

My sister and I grew up in the depths of the country and were allowed to roam free from a very young age. We made camps, climbed trees and dammed streams without serious injury, and it was great.. I wasn’t able to give my own children as much freedom because of more urban living, but I encouraged them to be bold. However looking after my grandchildren is a different story. I’ve always tried to return them in the same condition that they were in when I picked them up.

ElaineI, when I was childminding, I'd be distraught if somebody else's child were injured. I never worried about my own, though!

I think we become far more cautious as we age, too. Falling or breaking a limb is so much more serious as older adults.

eazybee

Four adults supervising two small children on play equipment and they both were hurt.
Ummm?

4? I read this as 3 and one of the 3 ( marj60 ) was supervising. She just didn't offer advice.

I've never offered advice to my two children about their children unless asked for it. Other times, I bite my tongue.

I was looking at some online photos of children playing years ago and their environment was full of dangers. Bomb sites, rusty old machines, broken pipes, rickety stairs. Not an adult in sight. Or country kids, playing in the fields, making dens in the woods....
More recently, my heart was in my mouth when my young grandchildren had a tree house built for them, but they were taught to climb properly and now at 15 and 13, are excellent climbers on real rocks in the Peak District.
I agree that 4 and 2 are young ages, but with the parents there, the best thing is to say nothing. If you are in charge, then full precautions are the order of the day.

janeainsworth, we used to make slides like those in the school playground until the janitor came round with ashes from the school boiler and spoilt our fun. I slipped and fell one day and tried to get out of a maths test by claiming I had hurt my wrist but as luck would have it the teacher had watched us from the staffroom window and didn't believe me! ?

When I was young and living in Dorset I and my brother were allowed to roam free. My brother was a bit accident prone and broke his like laying on the step of an old fashioned roundabout. It didn't stop us being able to go off on little expeditions. We were told the time by which we should come home and there would be a big telling off if we were late. Living in Suffolk, as an adult I was aware that one friend in particular wouldn't let her two sons out to play in the fields or cycle around the lanes. This was when they were 8 and 10. She wasn't worried about the speed of cars on some of the larger lanes but she imagined child molesters behind every hedge.

If that fear was taken literally there would hundreds of thousands of paedophiles lurking waiting to pounce behind every hedge in the countryside.

The two boys in question, once they had reached puberty were an absolute nightmare. One of them had to leave school because he set light to another boy's hair during the chemistry class.

I'm not suggesting that every child is going to turn out badly but they do need a certain amount of freedom and the ability to use their imaginations whilst being outside, building dens, climbing trees and generally having fun.outdoors,

Small children's brains and bodies learn to work together by trial and error, it's not necessarily about whether they consciously remember, more an instinct.

Think about a one year old learning to walk: they tumble, sit down, but carry on getting up and trying again until they master it. We would move a coffee table out of the way but we wouldn't, indeed couldn't, stop them.
They need to challenge themselves to gain independence, self-confidence and a sense of achievement.

Having said that I'm far more on edge looking after my granddaughter by myself than I ever was with my own!

Health and safety has spoilt many a playground game. Children need to learn how to take care - usually by getting a few bumps along the way.

anno trying to get out of a maths test!
I have a very clear memory of the winter I started school. I would have been 5 years old.
There was a slide in the playground & I went on it with some other children.
Unknown to me, sliding had been forbidden. A teacher came & rounded us up & we had to wait outside the headmistress’ door for justice to be meted out.
When she came out, I had to lift my skirt so she could administer a sharp slap on my thigh ?

I wouldn't have let my children play on slippery equipment even in daylight, especially so young
Oh dear, I must be a bad granny.

We took our DGC to a great play park in Bristol , unfortunately it started raining but they wanted to go on the equipment.
My heart was in my mouth but the worst they got was soaking wet.
My own DC managed to have accidents in playgrounds even when it was dry and sunny.

You are not the first nor will you be the last who has to bite ones tongue when observering what might/could happen.I am on your side as many a gran will also be. They are your sons children/IS their fathe and allowed the last word what ever your own views on parenting.

nadateturbe

I seem to be in a minority here but I'm very nervous with children. A boy in our street died in the local river. A friend broke her arm on the slide on a dry sunny day! Accidents do happen.

I think we have to watch with gritted teeth, though. Yes, I have seen accidents happen, some nasty, but we have to strike a balance between letting them explore their capabilities and wrapping them in cotton wool and making them nervous of trying anything.
I am naturally anxious about their safety but try to be sensible about it.

They are having their freedom curtailed enough as it is at the moment.

Sorry to mention the War, but as someone who was a virtually
unsupervised child in those days we did all sorts of daring things. And survived.
My children were also encouraged to be adventurous, and encouraged theirs too. Sadly we were never close enough geographically to watch our grandchildren growing up as they spread their wings too far.
So Marj, enjoy watching your grandchildren grow, and their parents learning their new roles. They will change too.
I just want to add 2 areas which need to be educated for with older children - safety in the sea, and when mountain walking. You can't just let them loose there without education.

I was lucky enough to have a pony when was youn6, I went riding around North Yorkshire, no mobile phones then,no-one knew where I was. When my grandchildren were young I went to a " family day" at their school, ,climbing frame in the playground, a mother was watching her two boys of about 5 or 6, every time they tried to go a bit higher up she was saying " dangerous dangerous!" Children have falls, that's how they learn, my DD broke her arm falling from the top bunk when she was three, I learnt years later that she and her older brother had been playing a silly game up there!

Oh dear. I'm now rethinking the wisdom of encouraging my small GC to climb to the top of the various equipments in different parks I take them to when they are in my care. But then their mum tells me how proud she is that they are growning with much confidence.

One of my DILs hovers around her little ones ready to intercept any potential accidents. They're not allowed to climb or jump from things, all the hard furniture has soft corner protectors on them! If one of them is hurt, even slightly, she makes a big fuss of them which only seems to make them cry even more. I have watched my GC hurtling down our garden towards the stone steps and held my breath hoping they'll stop in time. If it looks like they won't I yell their name and "STOP!!" They do. They have learned from that, but it doesn't spoil their fun.

When our boys were young I expected them to take tumbles, risks, and get hurt occasionally - they were boys after all! I simply picked them up, brushed them off, rubbed or kissed the hurt better and told them to be more careful next time. They seemed to learn from that and never suffered any serious injuries. But I do recall my Mum complaining I wasn't careful enough with them, so perhaps it's an age thing! I think we should try to teach children to avoid serious accidents but not over-protect them, they learn better from personal experience than being restricted or mollycoddled.

Marthjolly1 Be proud of them too. The confidence they're gaining from 'risky' physical play will also help them in other aspects of their growth and development. Most playground equipment now have soft surfaces beneath them. And their smiles of achievement when they reach the top will be worth every moment of worry.

Your Son is equally responsible....Sometimes it's not what you say but how you say it