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I don’t need a reply just needed to tell someone

(68 Posts)
pinkjj27 Fri 01-Jan-21 13:16:23

I don’t post very often but just need someone to tell.
I am a widow with lupus and anxiety issues so I have just been keeping to myself.
. Last night my next door neighbour had a party about 70 people. I was thinking about reporting it on line but police turn before I had a chance. The police did nothing. Party went on till 3 am.
This morning the young girlwho held the party knocked on my door screaming at me, calling me old and Dried up, she called me a nutter and said she started a petition to get me evicted. She told me to go shag my dead husband. she just kept saying "look how beautiful I am and look at you dried up jealous lonely old cow even your husband died to get away from you". Even your family don’t want you. I had to force my door shut as she was pushing against it.

I called the police who rang me back and said they can’t come out but just to ignore her and report it to my local council.
I do suffer mental health issues and I can’t stop shaking I don’t need any one to respond, but I feel so alone and just needed to tell someone. It wasn’t even me that phoned the police.

Wheniwasyourage Fri 01-Jan-21 13:24:03

That sounds awful, pinkjj27. I'm not surprised you're shaking. The police response is disgraceful too. I can't think of anything else to advise, except from contacting the council when they open up again, particularly if you are in council property. The young woman has obviously got a lot more problems than you have!

In the meantime, sending brew and flowers

crazyH Fri 01-Jan-21 13:24:44

How awful for you Pink you live in social housing or private house? If it's the former, your first port of call should be the local council. Even if it's private, I'm sure the Council will have some by-laws, regarding environmental issues, noise abatement etc. Someone with more knowledge than mine, will come along soon and give you the right advice. Good luck !!!!

Grannynannywanny Fri 01-Jan-21 13:25:51

How awful pinkjj27. Is it possible to speak to any of your other neighbours by phone and let them know what’s happened. Hopefully they will be supportive.

gulligranny Fri 01-Jan-21 13:30:18

Dreadful behaviour from your neighbour, I think it's more likely that she will be evicted than you!

Meanwhile you have a kindly listening ear here on GN so please let us know that you are okay.

Smileless2012 Fri 01-Jan-21 13:37:54

What an awful thing to have happened. You really need to contact your local police again, demand to speak to whoever is in charge, make a formal complaint and insist that they go and see that vile young woman.

If there were 70 people at a party then she and those attending should have been fined.

sodapop Fri 01-Jan-21 13:39:52

That's terrible Pink sounds like your neighbour has her own problems. I think you should speak to your local council about this problem.
Good luck.

GagaJo Fri 01-Jan-21 13:41:11

I would make a phone call to the local station. I would also contact social services. Do you live in local authority housing? If so, a complaint to them is definitely in order.

You are a vulnerable elderly person.

Tangerine Fri 01-Jan-21 13:45:54

I am so sorry for you.

I think you should contact your housing authority, local authority or private landlord, as well as the local Police Station.

It is disgraceful that you should be verbally assaulted in this way.

If the neighbour and her guests become ill, they will have themselves to thank.

SynchroSwimmer Fri 01-Jan-21 13:46:19

Op, not sure if you are a member of the organisation called WAYUP - for widows like us aged over 50, you would also get lots of support, advice and listening ears on there.
You might also find other widows living close by that could help you with support and a united front against horrible people like this.

I am so sorry, with all that you are dealing with that you had to endure this on top

Alexa Fri 01-Jan-21 13:53:39

Pinkjj27, if I were a fit man with friends in your area, I'd get them all together and threaten this young woman enough to make her fear and tremble.

his was criminal abuse. What a good thing you did telling Gransnet about it!

Baggs Fri 01-Jan-21 13:59:20

I just googled “police safeguarding vulnerable people” and this came up:

The police have a crucial role to play in the safety and protection of adults at risk of harm and abuse. ... In addition, a core policing role is identifying and managing perpetrators who choose to target adults who are vulnerable. The Care Act underpins this duty.

Call the police again and insist that they have a duty to help you.

Smileless2012 Fri 01-Jan-21 13:59:32

TBH Alexa I'd be quite happy to do that myself.

Ohmother Fri 01-Jan-21 14:03:02

Awwwww Pinkjj27 ?. How horrible. I think you’ve had enough advice so I just want to send you a massive virtual hug. ?

Nortsat Fri 01-Jan-21 14:03:09

Oh, so sorry this disgraceful behaviour has occurred.

You poor soul, how hideous.
Sensible advice from others here, to which I can’t add anything useful.
I just wanted to wish you well and send good thoughts ?

Patsy70 Fri 01-Jan-21 14:07:00

You really should not have to suffer this appalling behaviour and I hope you are able to get some support from neighbours and/or other local groups. These people were breaking the law and should be fined accordingly. Why are there so many dreadful people around, intent on making life unbearable for those already having problems? So sorry you experienced this, pinkjj27, and sending warm wishes. flowers

therustyfairy Fri 01-Jan-21 14:07:23

Thanks for sharing your story. You can't rationalise with people like that, the only time this young girl will learn the lesson is when she feels "old, dried up and has lost her life time partner" It sounds like other neighbour's reported the party and justifiably. I think I would be inclined to ask the police for an incident number just for the record. Karma comes around at some stage without the need to take any action other than finding a way to put this abusive, bullying behaviour out of your mind. Feel free to reach out privately to me if you want

silverlining48 Fri 01-Jan-21 14:07:28

That must have been really upsetting. What a horrible person she sounds. Presumably she was mistakenly accusing you of contacting the police.
I won’t offer more advice as others have made good suggestions, this is just to say how sorry I am. flowers

Sarnia Fri 01-Jan-21 14:08:47

Have you had problems with them before? To me they sound like a selfish lot who have done a wonderful job of bringing up their daughter to be respectful to others. This needs reporting otherwise they will consider you a fair target for the future. Get on the phone pronto.

3nanny6 Fri 01-Jan-21 14:19:24

Pinkjj27 I am sorry you had such a horrible experience with your next door neighbour, the woman sounds like she has a
nasty horrible vile mouth and said those things to you in an effort to frighten and scare you.
Are you council or housing association because there will be rules for where you live. In social housing you need to contact your housing officer and report this and it will be recorded as Anti-Social Behaviour the same goes for the council and they are quite hot on this. The police are always there if you need them and they should have treated your call much better. Your neighbour could find herself in trouble from her actions and could even be evicted.
Hope you are feeling better.

Babs758 Fri 01-Jan-21 14:22:00

I had problems with threatening behaviour from a Nottingham Knocker. I reported the incident because I was worried about people older than me and more vulnerable experiencing this. When the police hear I was over 50 they classed me as vulnerable, recorded the incident and gave me a Crime number. This apparently makes it easier for them to take action if he shows up again. The behaviour of your neighbour is definitely harassment and the police should take it more seriously.

timetogo2016 Fri 01-Jan-21 14:29:30

That`s very brave of the scum bag pinkjj27.
I bet if you were around her age she wouldn`t have had the guts.
Your vulnerable and she/it knows it.
Please do report her and tell the council it was their advice .

M0nica Fri 01-Jan-21 14:32:55

Write a statement about what happened. Sign it and date it and hereafter keep a record in writing of every single incident of harrassment that occurs, no matter how small, and use it when it would be to your advantage.
sad flowers

eazybee Fri 01-Jan-21 14:48:21

Phone your police station again and repeat your complaint, and take the name and rank of the person you are speaking to. Then ask for the name and contact details of the Police and Crime Commissioner (PCC). They are elected and one of their functions is to deal with complaints about local policing. Elections are due to be held this year, postponed from las, so they will be anxious to be seen to be doing their very well-paid job.
It is disgraceful that the police have said they can do nothing; they may well be short-staffed but they can arrange for someone to visit you and reassure you; you have been verbally abused and threatened, and the girl causing the abuse needs to be warned.
A friend's dog, on a leash, was attacked recently by a muzzled but off the leash dog; her dog bit the dog to defend herself; the other owner complained, and the police had visited both owners and taken statements by the end of the afternoon.
Too many excuses from the police.

timetogo2016 Fri 01-Jan-21 15:09:39

Great advice M0nica