Birthday flowers

jean4a1

Best I can do, I'm afraid.

To do not want flowers or chocolates I suggest asking for charity donation. I am sure you know that many charities offer "virtual gifts"
My go to charities include
SCIAF (Scottish Catholic International Aid Fund)
Leprosy Mission
Blythswood Care
Scottish SPCA

HomeAgain 123 - just a thought here - if each of your adult children bought you a bouquet of flowers why not drop a gentle hint by thanking each one and adding something like "the house was like a florists's shop as I had so many flowers - your sister/brother did the same as you" but they were lovely. This would at least alert your children to the fact that you had a glut of flowers and might just nudge them into co-ordinating their gifts to you. If it doesn't then I think you simply have to be grateful that in what is presumably their busy existence, they have thought about arranging a delivery.

Either tell them what you'd like for your birthday ("Darlings, instead of flowers/chocolates in future, I would love some new paintbrushes ...."). Or just ask for cash, or Amazon vouchers and get exactly what you want and send them a picture.

As a novelty, I sent my mum a Cornish food hamper complete with cream tea and Cornish pasties. She loved it.

I think people are struggling with coronavirus and the restrictions and flowers and things direct are just easier to arrange atm. I wouldn't take it personal. Happy belated birthday

I love flowers but preferably those I can grow and my waistline doesn’t like chocolates. Talking of gifts that sadly don’t hit the mark our daughter and partner bought us an Amazon Echo at Christmas despite me saying previously that I wouldn’t want one. It’s now sat in a cupboard - oh for a garden voucher instead, I’m sorry for the money they wasted!

Oh dear, I have never got a card or gift from my DS and DDiL and I am just about to order him some flowers to arrive on his birthday along with the coffee pods I sent him today. If you don’t like the gift of flowers then send them to me I would love to receive them❤️ I will PM you my address if you want!! DS thinks about me all the time but is not a gift giver, and I certainly don’t give gifts to get back, mind you I don’t spend as much on them as I do DD and DSiL as they get me lovely gifts, so maybe I do?

I really hate to tell you this, but I think it goes with the territory. Happy Birthday by the way. Adult Children are very self focused and busy with their lives. You are actually lucky that they think of you at all, because chances are they don't. This is the beginning of their lives, careers, families and you are no longer the needed mother. You are a pillar for them, an example for them to navigate older age. This is a hard pill to swallow. The older you get the more you will be in this category. The best thing you can do is cultivate your own life, your own friends and thank your adult children for what they gave you. It does mean something to them. I would not complain, nobody likes complainers when you do something you think is nice. If you dislike them so much (can't imagine - but each to his own) then make a point of bringing them to a care home and asking the staff which resident would enjoy them the most. I'm 62 and don't want any more 'things'. I ask my children for something I can eat or look at and toss. Before your birthday arrives you could have lunch with your daughter or son and say how much need a scarf or a toaster - I don't know, whatever you think you want. Just mention in conversation, not that you want it for your birthday. Life is way way too short to be disappointed you get flowers or candy. I would ask myself what that says about my life rather than what it says about their lives.
Just saying.

I would love birthday flowers and chocolates from my AC. Occasionally my daughter sends some but 2 of my sons just about manage a happy birthday text and the other never bothers. Same with Christmas. No pressies, no cards even though I foolishly carry on sending birthday and Christmas presents to them. Ah well ...

We ALWAYS ask what each other would like for Christmas and birthdays and have done for years as we've all had too many disappointments. So now we always get more or less what we might like to buy for ourselves. It could be a really nice voucher, a really expensive aroma candle, good leather gloves etc or sometimes cash. It will be cash for my daughters next month as I cant get to the shops, not that any other than supermarkets are open.

Yes thank you I told them all what I did with the flowers as I had far to many not enough vases etc which was well received no one offended all pretty light hearted and my daughter did mention my dislike of cut flowers so all good in the end and I feel so much better fir telling them thank you

I did same for my mum she to loved it

Following her 90th birthday a friend of mine laughingly told me that she received so many flowers that her sitting room looked like a funeral parlour. She wasn't being ungrateful, just has a droll sense of humour.

I can't think of anything more cheering than flowers at this time of year. I just bought myself an expensive bunch when I was shopping yesterday. Lifts my spirits just to look at them, although I get the point that HomeAgain123 wishes her family would put a bit more thought into the presents. Perhaps she should think of something she would really like and maybe they could all club together to get her something she wants. The older I get the less 'things' I want so consumables like flowers and chocolates seem like a good idea.

i am not a flower person and some of my family know this but, i would certainly appreciate the gift even if it was flowers, surely flowers are better than nothing and i suppose most people do like them, if it was me i would just be grateful

Your not ungrateful and I totally get it .
Hope you have many more happy years to come

For Goodness sakes, be grateful. Think of all the people who have no family and never receive any gifts. At least your family remember you and show they care. Be thankful, not resentful. You are very lucky

EllanVannin

Ungrateful springs to mind.

" ..... my daughter knows I dislike cut flowers "

My nan really hated them.
She found it awful to cut them away from their roots just so they could be pretty for a week indoors.

I enjoy getting a little plant as a present.

I sort of get it. I love flowers and would miss a meal to buy a bouquet or a flowering plant, but I do know that not everyone feels the same way.

I send flowers to people if I think they may need to see something pretty to cheer them up. I send chocolates to people in need of comfort. When there’s been a bereavement I send a carefully chosen card. I have just discovered there’s a whole world of gift boxes/hampers for almost every occasion - I bought my foodie brother a ‘letterbox’ gift of seaweed - so the gifts I send may get more interesting from now on.

For birthdays I often give a range of choices to family members so that I know my gift will be welcomed. One particularly hard-to-please (or possibly discerning ) child of mine also loves surprises, so every year is a challenge to buy a gift that she will love. (So far I’m on a winning streak.)

One of my offspring buys me gifts that they would like (we have completely different tastes), one is very pragmatic, but thoughtful (a greengage tree this year), the third listens out and buys me things I’ve mentioned I like, and the last usually makes me something and agonises over what to write in my card.

*BoBo53 snap can't even put it on eba y as they are here most days as I do all the child care

You could always start a wish-list on amazon, but then, I wouldn't dream of telling anyone what to get me as I don't think thats what gift-giving should be about, I often think I'm lucky to have children and a partner that will buy me gifts no matter what they are...rather than being like friends I have that have literally no family to get them anything.

My grandson makes me laugh as he's always broke thanks to the price of his transport to and from work, so he says to me 'Did you like my pressie Nan!?'
I say 'you never got me anything!'
He replies, 'I know, but I thought about it, and its the thought that counts!'
Daft sod!

I agree give them chocs and flowers on their birthday. I do the same on their birthdays get exactly what they want nothing that could be unwanted. So it is very irratating at the very least to get something with no thought. As for people saying chocs and flowers are about all you can be given as a present now, they are wrong amazon will deliver to your chosen address!!

i have never liked flowers, i would prefer a plant but sister-in-law sends me flowers, last time i sent her an email saying the usual thanks and telling her i don't have a vase thinking she may take the hint that the reason is i dont like flowers, i stay in an area that has 9 charity shops within a 5 min walk......no...she sent me a vase...lol