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Special occasions

(79 Posts)
ClareAB Wed 17-Feb-21 00:02:15

It's my birthday tomorrow. My husband, lovely in many ways, after 12 years together, had never seemed to 'get' celebrations, fun events etc. I'm very different. I love Christmas, and am happy to do the work of present picking/buying/wrapping/sending.
Same with cards to both of our families and friends.
This Christmas, in lock down, was the most depressing I've ever spent.
We always do stockings for those in the house. Usually at least 2 sons, wives and granddaughter. Not this year due to Covid. He didn't bother at all.
He didn't bother to wrap presents, or even put them in 'lucky dip' sack, which I provided.
So, for my birthday, we can see no-one and I accept that. I also said, as my major pressie I'd like to make a donation. I don't 'need'
He has read that as no card, no pressie, no actual acknowledgement that its my birthday.
DOI. In therapy and just got to the part where my father told me over and over that I was a mistake, made him feel trapped and he resented my existance. I remember him roaring at me when I got pregnant at 21 with first son 'GET RID OF IT'
I didn't.
But, I trained as a registered nurse whilst I had 3 sons and supported us all, and have brilliant relationship with all of them. Youngest is 29.
My husband is expressing apologies and sorrow that I am upset.
But after a miserable Christmas and now a birthday that's gonna be miserable, am I being unreasonable to want to just go off, be single in a little house and stop trying to deal with someone who doesn't know what fun and joy is?

DanniRae Thu 18-Feb-21 09:48:19

"Happy Birthday, Clare"
Here are some flowers for you and a glass of wine
Enjoy Your Day!!!!!

Ro60 Thu 18-Feb-21 23:56:54

So - How did it go? Did you manage to do something or are you just glad it's all over?

Hithere Fri 19-Feb-21 00:36:36

Belated happy birthday, ClareAB!