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(146 Posts)
ninathenana Wed 17-Mar-21 11:31:36

I've just had an ex offender trying to sell me goods at the door.
Good that he's trying to make a living but he really raised my hackles by calling me sweet. I said can you not call me that. Oh, it's just another way of saying mate. It's what people say these days, like I'm some old fogey who wouldn't understand.
I wouldn't have been happy with dear or love either. Needless to say I didn't buy anything. Though I have in the past.
Am I being an old fogey ?

annodomini Wed 17-Mar-21 16:34:55

When a salesman referred to 'the young lady' I turned round and said, 'Where? I don't see a young person'. @Love, 'dear', 'darling' are just used because the speaker doesn't know my name and I can't complain, but 'young lady' is meant to butter me up - and I'm visibly not young!

vampirequeen Wed 17-Mar-21 16:39:22

You wouldn't like living around here. Everyone is 'love'.

timetogo2016 Wed 17-Mar-21 16:48:33

Exactly Judy54.
My dh comes from the Black Country and he calls me sweaty,friends of ours come from Derby and they call me Duck.
Doesn`t bother me at all,at least they are being nice which imo is all that matters.

FannyCornforth Wed 17-Mar-21 16:49:15

VQ it's 'me ? duck' here!

FannyCornforth Wed 17-Mar-21 16:49:53

Ooh! Cross post!

FannyCornforth Wed 17-Mar-21 16:50:31


Jaxjacky Wed 17-Mar-21 17:22:10

nina I’ve been called sweet before, from an acquaintance in Bristol, not particularly fond of it, but had worse. If that’s the only reason you didn’t make a purchase it’s a shame.

Maggiemaybe Wed 17-Mar-21 17:26:51

Did you mean Sweety, timetogo?

I was going to say I’ll happily answer to anything well-meant. Sweetheart, dear, love, pet, darling, guy, girl, babe, madam, lady, gorgeous (a particular favourite, and oh, so true grin).

But I’d draw the line at Sweaty.

HurdyGurdy Wed 17-Mar-21 17:33:15

I don't mind any colloquial terms of endearment used when someone doesn't know my name.

Rather that than Miserable Old Sow.

And I don't but at the door, in Covic times or otherwise

lemsip Wed 17-Mar-21 17:55:04


None of them are legitimate.

I have read through this info and sent it to several elderly friends. thank you Blossoming.

BlueBelle Wed 17-Mar-21 18:23:41

Well better than the scam caller I had today telling me about my ‘wifi problem’ I was very sweet going ‘oh yes’ ‘really’ ‘fancy that’ etc then she must have caught on I was taken the ‘p’ as she very sweetly said ‘ idiot woman’ and slammed the phone down

H1954 Wed 17-Mar-21 18:31:19

I am regularly volunteering at a Vaccination Centre and as you can imagine this involves "herding" people in the right direction. I call the men 'sir' and the women ' madam'. Will that do?

Newatthis Wed 17-Mar-21 18:53:44

Be careful with callers claiming they're ex offenders (they're id is nothing to go on). Some are being trafficked. I had 2 on 2 consecutive day, I bought from the first then explained to the 2nd that I didn't need anything, he got very abusive and I felt very threatened.

Urmstongran Wed 17-Mar-21 19:21:18

My dad used to say he didn’t mind what he was called as long as it wasn’t late for dinner.

To be honest I think you’re being a bit precious OP. Offended enough not to make a purchase because of how he addressed you - really?

Buy something, or not. That’s your prerogative.
But a decision not to buy, based upon his over-familiarity?
Yes, I do think you were being unreasonable.

It might have been a scam call but that’s a different kettle of fish anyway. Because, if it wasn’t, where was your compassion?

Cossy Thu 18-Mar-21 10:37:00

It’s one of my biggest bugbears ! I’m female, I’m 62, I’ve been called, Mate, dear, dearie, darling’, love, lovie, Sweetheart, “young lady” and pet, and I HATE anyone calling me this if I don’t know them, is rude !!

NannyDaft Thu 18-Mar-21 10:37:24

I just don’t want anybody at my door trying
to sell anything !

Mamma66 Thu 18-Mar-21 10:40:41

FannyCornforth sounds like you’re from my neck of the woods? (Mansfield)

Camelotclub Thu 18-Mar-21 10:42:24

I got one of those stickers to put by the front door, no cold callers, religious groups, etc. It seems to have worked! Someone called once and I just pointed to it and they left. Cheap as chips on ebay.

brazenp75 Thu 18-Mar-21 10:42:51

They are not always what they say, and you shouldn't have opened the door to them. Keep safe. Put a 'no cold callers' sticker on the door.

polnan Thu 18-Mar-21 10:43:32

no cold callers!

However, if someone, in the past! called me Duck, I tended to say quack,quack, it amuses me!

what would we all prefer to be called then?

I don`t much care for darling from a stranger,, but then

better than a foul word.

JdotJ Thu 18-Mar-21 10:44:10

Many many years ago I opened the door to a lady who 'tried' to sell me some artwork she said she had painted. She would not leave and said she was trying to make a living so I said, 'so am I', grabbed an air freshener which happened to be on the hall windowsill and asked if she would like to buy it. I kept on and on talking and goading her saying what good quality it was etc and the fact that she had come on to my property meant she was trespassing whereas I could sell what I wanted from my house.
She soon scurried off.

CleoPanda Thu 18-Mar-21 10:44:57

As others have said, there is no such thing as a scheme for ex offenders to sell door to door.
No such official scheme has ever existed.
It’s been going on in different areas for decades - the ID/badges etc are all fake.
Anybody telling you that they are selling as part of a rehabilitation scheme is lying.
You should report them to your local police - description, time, date etc.
They are usually selling rubbish at exorbitant prices, trying to suss out vulnerable households for future scams or burglary or simply con men.
Report them before they scam vulnerable people.
During lockdown, door to door selling is illegal. This is yet another reason to report them as these scammers are often travelling en masse from a distant area, flouting travel rules as well as mask rules.

pen50 Thu 18-Mar-21 10:46:12

Having lived a lot of my life in Somerset, I'm quite inured to being addressed by all ages and sexes as "my luvvverrrrr."

Jodieb Thu 18-Mar-21 10:46:26

I can't stand Madam (rare now) but I quite like Mam (American) It's not patronizing like some titles.

Mooney59 Thu 18-Mar-21 10:47:53