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(146 Posts)
ninathenana Wed 17-Mar-21 11:31:36

I've just had an ex offender trying to sell me goods at the door.
Good that he's trying to make a living but he really raised my hackles by calling me sweet. I said can you not call me that. Oh, it's just another way of saying mate. It's what people say these days, like I'm some old fogey who wouldn't understand.
I wouldn't have been happy with dear or love either. Needless to say I didn't buy anything. Though I have in the past.
Am I being an old fogey ?

GrauntyHelen Thu 18-Mar-21 20:51:08

YABU for not saying DON'T call me that

Florida12 Thu 18-Mar-21 21:44:39

I tend to not open the door these days, surely they must know that some of us are shielding.

Yve1 Thu 18-Mar-21 22:10:19

Stopped using a sandwich shop many years ago as the owner called me ‘Dahl in’ in a cockney accent. I may be old fashioned but I am only my husband’s darling.

Daisend1 Thu 18-Mar-21 22:40:46

When in the U.S I am Ma'am.
In the UK I am Miss or Missus. Know what I prefer.

Harmonypuss Fri 19-Mar-21 04:41:18

Unfortunately, I'm guilty of calling people 'sweetheart' but at the same time am offended by people who call me 'love' or 'darling'.
In the past, I've been known to get quite verbal about being called one of these names, saying that I'm not this person's 'love/darling' and that only my significant other has the 'right' to call me that.
Yes, I realise it's double standards and I am trying to stop calling people 'sweetheart' but I won't ever stop objecting to being called 'love/darling'!

Shropshirelass Fri 19-Mar-21 08:27:36

I don’t like any names such as sweet, chick, love etc. When I was a child Scottish business associate of my Dad’s came to visit and he called me chick, a Scottish term of endearment but I was quite indignant stating that I was not a chick! Maybe that was the start of my dislikes!

Bumboseat1 Fri 19-Mar-21 09:07:24

I wouldn’t have minded, I get called all sorts maid, duck, love, lovely that’s the latest, does it matter really! Can’t understand the problem really you have to worry if you were called something nasty!

JackyB Fri 19-Mar-21 09:41:05


I had someone selling a couple of years ago. He got quite aggressive and I bought something just to get rid of him. He was later arrested by police for not having the proper licence. I was told to ask to see their licence if they cold call. Its very rare here that we get cold callers.Even the religious groups don't come.

But how would you know if the licence was genuine?

(Sorry if someone has already asked. Am just working my way down the thread.)

trisher Fri 19-Mar-21 09:44:45

Up here you might get called 'pet' or 'hinny'. And of course occasionally 'man' As in "Howay man!"

GreyKnitter Fri 19-Mar-21 10:24:14

We don’t like anyone who tries to cold sell - either at the door or on the phone. Don’t care what they call me or how many times they ask how I am today etc. I def won’t be buying anything. My dad is the only person who ever called me duck and I loved it!

Curlywhirly Fri 19-Mar-21 13:33:54

They are all scammers - no rehabilitation scheme would involve an exoffender going door to door. I worked in the Council's Licensing Department and a person going door to door either to collect money (unless it is for a Charity with an exemption) or selling goods, by law, must obtain either a House to House Collection permit from the Council or a Peddlers' Licence from the Police. I caught a chap rattling a 'Charity Collect Box' in the pub, nearly everyone was putting money in it; I asked him where his Council Licence was (I knew he didn't have one, as we never condoned pub collections - apart from Red Nose Day etc). He said he didn't need one! Needless to say I told him exactly what I thought of him and he scarpered. I reported him to the Police and he was caught the next day complete with a large amount of money in his collection box. Some people are just vile.

As to being called love, dear etc. Good job you don't live in the north West - everyone does it! I like it as here it is just seen as being friendly.

BrandyGran Fri 19-Mar-21 18:34:21

Many years ago I had a lovely neighbour 15 yrs older than me. She told anyone selling that on principle she never bought on the door step. I used her good advice many times. Just say it nicely and close the door.

Hellogirl1 Fri 19-Mar-21 23:49:36

I don`t mind what I get called as long as it isn`t nasty. The one that riles me though is when folk say to me "Aw, bless">

Annette60 Sun 21-Mar-21 10:38:58

I once got called 'babe' by a young man - I'm 60!! ??

BlueSky Sun 21-Mar-21 11:41:16

No I don’t mind being called by my first name, love or even you guys! Makes me feel young, always better than dear or lovely, which does make me feel 105!

KathrynP Sun 21-Mar-21 11:43:08

As a police officer I dealt with many burglaries where a seller engages the householder on the doorstep and his accomplice goes around the back of the house to enter the house and steal so when these people leave your house always watch them from your window to check they are not joined on the road by another person. Also never leave your handbag/wallet in plain sight. I was in the habit of leaving my handbag on the hall sideboard then realised that it was obvious to anyone calling at the front door. Now I hide it. Sad we have to do this, when I was young & living in the countryside we didn’t think to even lock the front door. After all the names I was called in the Police I’ll take anything that is at least polite.

NotANana Sun 21-Mar-21 12:16:47

There are some parts of the country where such terms are part of the every day speech patterns. In Stoke on Trent, people (m/f) are called "duck" or "me duck" and in Birmingham "bab". I don't object if people who are from these places call me these terms.

But I'm nobody's "sweet", and I would have felt exactly as you did.
I'm sure the young man wasn't trying to be deliberately offensive, but IMHO it is polite to call people what they want to be called, and not to be over-familiar at first meeting.

Tanjamaltija Sun 21-Mar-21 12:52:58

If I call anyone I know sweetie or hun or bae, they know to beware the sarcasm that will surely follow. But I do not use these terms with people I am not acquainted with... and I hate the terms being used "at" me.

Growing0ldDisgracefully Sun 21-Mar-21 15:23:21

I don't mind any of these endearments as long as not used in a patronising or offensive manner. I do dislike being called by my first name by cold callers, where they seem to think they are your new best friend.

Lemontart Sun 21-Mar-21 19:51:38

I like being called "Madam" and hate hate hate being called "Mate"