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AIBU

"Sweet"

(146 Posts)
ninathenana Wed 17-Mar-21 11:31:36

I've just had an ex offender trying to sell me goods at the door.
Good that he's trying to make a living but he really raised my hackles by calling me sweet. I said can you not call me that. Oh, it's just another way of saying mate. It's what people say these days, like I'm some old fogey who wouldn't understand.
I wouldn't have been happy with dear or love either. Needless to say I didn't buy anything. Though I have in the past.
Am I being an old fogey ?

Iam64 Thu 18-Mar-21 13:31:31

As some posters have already pointed out, these young people (always men in my experience) are Nottingham Knockers’. It’s a scam, the young men are bussed in to Cover a specific area then get out.
They are also scoping out potential burglaries. Use your local Facebook page to give warnings to neighbours and report to your local police area.

Lin663 Thu 18-Mar-21 13:39:29

I utterly hate being called Love, Darling, Sweetheart etc, etc...unless it’s my DH using the terms. It is over familiar and makes me grind my teeth. I particularly hate it if it’s a male stranger as it is so patronising and will often respond “ I think you’ll find I am not actually your Darling”. I certainly would not conduct business with anyone who was so rude as to address me in those terms! So if that makes me an old fogey, then so be it!

Daisymae Thu 18-Mar-21 13:47:11

We have had them in our area recently. The police did put out a warning. These people are scammer. As for being called 'sweet' no its not the greatest but I would have let that pass. I just say that we never buy from the door. We do have a sign stating that too.

ALANaV Thu 18-Mar-21 13:52:18

Ha ha ...no, although I would probably not buy anything from an ex offender although it must be tough if he is trying to go 'straight' after completing his sentence or whatever, I have no objection to being called anything ...now I live in the N E (via Suffolk, Cambridge, Essex, Nottinghamshire, Spain and France ) I am used to being called allsorts .....luv, duck, dearie, Mrs, sweetheart, man, (everyone gets called MAN in the N E), sweetie, etc etc I just laugh as I think its funny ....I worked in the NHS and we were issued with a letter saying we must call all patients by their surname and not use first names, nicknames, etc etc.....some patients preferred it, some asked why we had to use surnames as it didnt seem very friendly ! I guess life is too short to worry about it ! Although I have to say the term 'significant other' grates !!grin

Kamiso Thu 18-Mar-21 13:54:09

Had our first cold callers recently. I pretended to have a coughing fit and they backed away pretty smartly. It’s thought locally that some are checking which houses are occupied.

A health visitor I know called everyone Petal as she was hopeless at remembering names.

Singleton1311 Thu 18-Mar-21 14:13:29

Call me anything just don’t call me down!

Notright Thu 18-Mar-21 14:23:21

Honestly Ninathenana - there's more going on in the world than to get 'upset' because someone calls you sweet, or dear, or love or whatever. Some people have grown up being able to address people in 'affectionate' terms, but he's right it's just an expression, but one that he and others have always found it normal part of their conversation. Get over yourself.

effalump Thu 18-Mar-21 14:39:46

I wouldn't have even noticed. Would you have preferred to be call Madam? That's a term that was polite and respectful many moons ago.

AnD1 Thu 18-Mar-21 14:40:41

Slightly different but I hate Hun and Babe on FB or selling sites!

Karalou51 Thu 18-Mar-21 14:44:27

I'm pretty sure that legit ex-offenders wouldn't be going door to door at the moment. When you can't even deliver leaflets in a lot of places, it seems very odd. A polite 'no thank you' through the closed door would be enough.

Beanie654321 Thu 18-Mar-21 14:51:34

I really feel for you as I too hate it. I also hate it when people phone me and ask for me by my first name and I don't know them. I'm sorry I find behavior like this disrespectful. Yes I'm old fashion with old fashion ideas.

Naninka Thu 18-Mar-21 14:51:50

I don't mind being called sweet/darling etc by a stranger but I do NOT like to be called by my 1st name by people who have access to both my names, eg. insurance, hospital, etc.
And I hate cold callers. They can Foxtrot Oscar and take their tat with them.

VioletCloud Thu 18-Mar-21 15:00:23

A little sidelined maybe, but my pet hate is to be called a 'guy'. A collective noun that seems to have become very common and obviously from over the Pond. It sounds so disrespectful, particularly in the workplace and in schools, when addressing a group of people or children. What happened to 'ladies and gentlemen' and 'children'? How has everyone turned into a 'guy', whatever their sex or age? Grrr! angry

earnshaw Thu 18-Mar-21 15:12:25

i have a sign on my door saying no cold callers please, it , hopefully is a deterrent, apart from that , i would love it if someone called me sweet

ReadyMeals Thu 18-Mar-21 15:28:46

I wouldn't have even gone to the door. Having had a video doorbell for a while now I can't understand why everyone doesn't have one :D

CrazyGrandma2 Thu 18-Mar-21 15:29:52

As long as it's friendly and polite I don't really mind. Nice to be acknowledged.

starstella Thu 18-Mar-21 15:52:53

A couple of young men knocked on my door and said they were from the local housing association/they had come to check my guttering.I said no thank you.I might as well have saved my breath.one of them said well as we are here we will check any way.I said NO YOU WILL NOT AND GET OFF MY PROPERTY.I was told there was no need to be nasty,I kept repeating get off my property and they went..I phoned the police and got a lovely young woman who told me I had done the right thing she didn't think the local council would be sending people door to door at this time Neither of them had masks on that night a young police man called and I told him the story he said he would check around He came back later and said they were genuine oops.Now i don/t open the door til I know who it is and I would do the same again.The same day I got 2 scam calls 1 from Microsoft I just put the phone down on them.Yes I would object to be called sweet or any thing else.

jerseygirl Thu 18-Mar-21 16:34:27

I wouldn't like it either, too familiar!! i dont like people selling things at the door either

widgeon3 Thu 18-Mar-21 16:55:23

'Mummyjojo62'
One appeared at my house..... ex-serviceman ( he could repeat some sort of ID number), limping ex- offender and with a big bag of stuff I didn't need.
Yes, I felt so sorry for him as he was trying to rehabilitate himself. I explained that the paid job of weeding our wilderness of a garden could be all his as I admired his efforts to go straight
He suddenly zipped up his holdall and dashed along the road to the local pub shouting over his shoulder that he needed a coffee.
As for Jehovah's Witnesses, my husband generally asks them if they know they are breaking the law by knocking on the door with an under-age proselyte in tow to preach at us
I don't know either but they generally make speedily for a parked car nearby

We use varying techniques for the phone nuisances depending upon how we feel

CleoPanda Thu 18-Mar-21 17:19:07

@ Quote MummyJoJo62
Selling door to door unlicensed.
Lying about working under an ex offender scheme (there is no such scheme that ever existed that would encourage door to door selling!)
Flouting travel rules
Flouting contact rules
Flouting mask rules.
I don’t think he deserves ANY considerations whatsoever.
That’s not being mean, it’s being sensible and correct?

lizzypopbottle Thu 18-Mar-21 17:24:20

If you have a sticker on your door and they still knock, they are breaking the law. Your local trading standards office (at the county council) will supply a sticker that is official. It's free.

CleoPanda Thu 18-Mar-21 17:27:20

@ Quote janeainsworth
The problem is that they are not who they say they are. They are lying in order to get money off “suckers”
That’s why it’s illegal.
The computer literate scammers use the internet, the others use door to door selling - often tat or fakes sold at grossly inflated prices. Usually bussed in as part of a huge scam or in some case for just enough cash to buy more drugs or alcohol. They are trained to use sob stories.
A genuine person does not lie about “schemes” or use fake ID, sell tat to vulnerable people and flout all the lockdown rules.
By buying off them you are encouraging all the above illegal activities.

janeainsworth Thu 18-Mar-21 18:10:01

Cleopanda
Although your post starts
‘@quote janeainsworth’, I didn’t write any of that post.
Please could you preview your posts in future and make sure they’re accurate.

tickingbird Thu 18-Mar-21 18:26:10

I really don’t mind and wouldn’t get on my high horse to someone trying to be friendly. I don’t do condescending.

Greeneyedgirl Thu 18-Mar-21 20:30:28

Perhaps ReadyMeals because many are insecure and easy to hack?