Hi, I just want to know AIBU. I don't think I am because things change over the years but I'd appreciate others views. This is a very long post I do apologise
My dh and I met in our teens and were on and off until we got into our 40s.
He was a very troubled man and very violent towards me, not the best dad to our two daughters and abused hard drugs and alcohol. I made sure my dd's did not notice this and I protected them throughout our many breakups, marriage, divorce and marriage again.
Fast forward until we were in our 40s my dd1 had a dd of her own who I doted on. DH who had been gone for a few years came back when dd was pregnant and informed me his mother had added him as a sole beneficiary to her will. We decided to stay together and got married as we'd been divorced. I did this because I thought my dd's and gd would benefit from the money in the future.
My dh and dd's just could not rub along together and in the end, because oh DH heavy drinking and aggressive behaviour both dds left our lives I was devastated not to see my gd and missed her terribly.
When dd2 came to collect her stuff there was an awful row dh said that anybody would have thought he'd sexually abused her the way she was behaving and then he said perhaps he should have done. She blew this out of all proportion as he didn't mean it like that and my friend who was there also said he didn't mean it like that.
I never saw either dd or GC again and that was 20 years ago. I kept them in my will and stayed in an unhappy relationship with a drunk waiting for the day his mother died so we could get money to help my dd's if needed.
I have s large family and when they were in contact with my dd's they would come back and give news and photos to me. I gave them gifts to hand to gd with secret letters inside she could read without her mum knowing but these started coming back and soon my dd's lost contact with all of their aunts uncles and cousins. Our family grew closer than they ever were and my gd has missed out on this.
Dd2 got married and had children and I wasn't involved. I haven't even seen my gc from her. Despite this I stayed with DH for them.
When DH mum died he died shortly after and I now have all of the money, although I've lived on most if it and now work in a lovely job that I really enjoy.
Sadly my brother and his wife died in 2019 within a few weeks of eachother and left their two dd's and 4 GC with no parents/grandparents.
I have become very close to my nieces and their children. I am closer to them than I ever was to my own dd's and I have plenty of wonderful contact with their children, I feel like their real gran.
As my two dd's have got on with their lives and won't have any contact with me would it be unreasonable to take them out of the will and put my nieces in their place.
My other siblings say it is lovely that I am now being given the opportunity to be a real gp just like them after missing out all those years. They say I shouldn't begrudge myself a little bit of happiness after all I've been through.
I put up with an awful life and an unloving marriage for my dd's but they have moved on should I move on too?
Chookcook Wed 07-Apr-21 18:43:46
Chewbacca Wed 07-Apr-21 18:48:49
avitorl Wed 07-Apr-21 18:53:21
Ladyleftfieldlover Wed 07-Apr-21 18:59:18
Chookcook Wed 07-Apr-21 19:03:52
Chookcook Wed 07-Apr-21 19:04:17
Bibbity Wed 07-Apr-21 19:09:15
geekesse Wed 07-Apr-21 19:20:39
Chewbacca Wed 07-Apr-21 19:21:22
Chookcook Wed 07-Apr-21 19:22:12
Bibbity Wed 07-Apr-21 19:23:57
Smileless2012 Wed 07-Apr-21 19:55:07
FlexibleFriend Wed 07-Apr-21 20:01:06
SueDonim Wed 07-Apr-21 20:02:56
Chookcook Wed 07-Apr-21 20:10:42
FlexibleFriend Wed 07-Apr-21 20:14:58
Oopsadaisy1 Wed 07-Apr-21 20:16:00
Chookcook Wed 07-Apr-21 20:19:26
Chookcook Wed 07-Apr-21 20:21:31
Oopsadaisy1 Wed 07-Apr-21 20:22:07
Sago Wed 07-Apr-21 20:22:17
crazyH Wed 07-Apr-21 20:35:30
Chookcook Wed 07-Apr-21 21:13:45
geekesse Wed 07-Apr-21 21:21:03
Chewbacca Wed 07-Apr-21 21:28:22