Updating will

I think it probably is a true story, when you are a victim of abuse yourself it’s easy to become abusive and intolerant, you get very hard. As for the money I’d leave it to my daughters it’s up to them what they do, bequests to others can be made as well. As you get older there may be friends or relatives who look after you, it would be nice to leave them something.

Hmm, this is the second post this week from a mother giving details of a very strange home life and who fails to see that they have contributed to their children's unhappiness - I'm finding hard to believe either story.

Your daughter wanted for nothing are you deranged? They may have been fed and clothed but they certainly wanted a decent and loving mum and dad and they had neither. You're surprised they were not well behaved, I'm not kids act up when they want and need attention but you couldn't see it. Once they were 18 you wanted money off them to replace the benefits, I would have left so fast you wouldn't have seen me for dust. My sons carried on living at home well into their 20's because it was a good and happy place to be. Yours were only welcome if they could pay and job seekers wasn't enough for you. Leave the money to your daughters they've earnt every penny.

If this is for real it is incredibly sad you feel you acted in their best interests . You did not , your children needed a parent who prioritised their safety and emotional wellbeing , not a potential inheritance. No amount of money could make up for the abuse they witnessed and suffered .

Strewth, I’ve just read this thread again. What a strange woman! Is she real? One of my sons, who is in his 30s, moved back home for 18 months. I didn’t charge him rent as he had little money, he cooked and cleaned and was good company. Money was not on our minds at all. When he had any he would pay for some of the groceries. I don’t think that woman was real at all, who stays in a rotten marriage for their children’s sake? No one I know.

You should leave your money to exactly who you would like to benefit, you are not morally obliged to leave it to family members who you don’t see and who don’t bother with you. Your daughters don’t bother with you and didn’t support you when you needed it, if that was me then I wouldn’t leave them anything at all but would put a letter with your will explaining that you have given beneficiaries great thought and your decision to omit certain family members is final, you can state why, this will help should they raise a dispute in the future when you pass. Believe me, they all come out of the woodwork when they think they might benefit!!!

Chookchook, I don't often comment on threads but this is unbelievable. For a start, this could be a fake story it's so extreme. If it is true, I'm sorry but you sound like an awful person, a terrible mother with no empathy, kindness or understanding. Your daughters have been scarred by your lack of protection. I'm sure they don't want you anywhere near their children. So zero sympathy with you.

It would seem you stayed with him for the money. He seemed like a vile controlling man and the comment he made to your daughter was evil and nasty.Are you really surprised that your children don't want anything to do with you. Most of us here are not.

All you wanted when your daughters left school was a share of their incomes. Did it ever occur to you to have a job yourself?