to think that my DIL uses too many cleaning products?

flopen

fair enough. Obviously I'm the only person concerned about the effects of chemicals on a baby's neurological system. How awful of me to be concerned about their health.

I am sorry I must disagree with posters who say do nothing. I am a qualified Health and Safety Adviser now retired. I complain when in a restaurant and someone is cleaning a table near me with a spray and when in the office I complained if someone sprayed perfume near me. There was a case where a hotel receptionist was so badly affected by cleaning near him that he could never wear any chemical products such as after shave etc. This small child should never have these products used near the child where he can inhale them. Polluting chemicals can cause Asthma and other respiratory illnesses. There were cases of school cooks getting Occupational Asthma from inhaling flour dust from cooking in large quantities.

Kimrus

I am a convert to everything natural and never once thought about how I was using chemicals around my family or my animals. I was invited along to an afternoon chat with a group of women and a lovely lady introduced us to doTerra oils. Witch Dr stuff my hubby would say. Well after listening and thought geez, I could try this stuff. My go to for cleaning is peppermint oil, vinegar and pure water. Love love love. My visitors always notice when they come into my house now and comment about the fresh smell. I now make all my DIY products, laundry detergent, dishwasher cleaner, shampoo, soap, you name it I make it. It actually works out cheaper than buying all the chemical stuff. We have terrible problems with the horse fly here. They truly bite and my animals hate them too. I make my own spray for them, all natural.
Suggestion flopen, have an afternoon tea or morning tea and invite a rep from an oil company to give a little chat. This way it isnt stepping on your DIL’s toes but offering an alternative, but please don’t tell her how to clean, it sure will be the worse thing you could say to your DILand friendship would be ruined. If you need more info, would only be too happy to assist you

Are you really pushing your MLM here?? That’s well done.

I can’t stand oils. I’d have a migraine in your house.

EO are not magic cures. Do some research into how DoTerra came about. Fascinating business history to prey on young Mormon wives.

Galaxy

I think the best advice would be to provide all this amazing cleaning advice to the son. I am sure he would be interested.

My favourite comment of the day. Thank you Galaxy

Studies have shown links between cleaning products (especially spray and scented ones) and an increased likelihood of asthma and allergies. Asthma can be a very serious ( indeed life-threatening) condition and anything which can minimise the chance of developing it is worth looking into.
Would your DiL be angry to find out later (especially if your GC develops asthma/allergies) that you knew this and didn't say anything? She may be completely unaware of any potential issue and assume products just wouldn't be available if they were harmful in any way.
The trick is to work out how to mention it tactfully.
You could maybe say you were reading posts on a forum and it mentioned this and you hadn't realised it could be a problem and you wish the internet was around when you were first a mum etc......
Some products advertise themselves as safe for use around children and there are some sites that suggest using vinegar, bicarbonate of soda etc. I don't know what the best advice is - maybe you and your DiL could research that together?
If she really wants to use some specific product, maybe you could take the baby for a walk while she does so and she could open all the windows for a while to reduce any risk.

A friend who is a health visitor found a young mum spraying an "air freshener" at fixed intervals, placed deliberately close to her baby's cot because she believed the rubbish that persuasive advertising companies peddle. She actually thought it contained fresh air.
New parents are so desperate to do what they think is right, but sometimes at the cost of commonsense. In the position of a health professional it is easy to explain and advise gently, but praise for trying to do the best.
As a mother in law it's more tricky but I think some of the non-judgemental suggestions like sensitively sharing magazine articles or free products containing less toxic materials is a useful strategy.
In the circumstances I would be very afraid for my grandson breathing in spray fumes too. I wouldn't take my grandchildren for a nice day out to a chemical factory! Sorry, that probably sounds harsh but I hate the manipulative way such things are foisted on people by unscrupulous advertising agencies.
Also some of the ingredients are banned in some parts of the world, with good reason. As for the smells of "essence of silly made up name", they are only safe in the advertiser's dream-land and profit margins. I think your concern is very sensible and kindly meant, I wish you luck and a continued good relationship. ?

Yeah, tough one Flopen. As many have pointed out.

However, I feel you should pursue the matter. The little person's health and wellbeing is too important to let it go. At the other end of the seesaw, your friendship with DIL is too important for fornicate it up with a clumsy go at getting your point across. Is that fair enough?

How about waiting until a neutral time? Say when DIL and you sit together chatting over a cup of coffee?

At which point you raise the subject of the effect of household products on say . . . Now, I don't know where your DIL's interests lie. Global warming and health are both popular subjects, so how about starting with her ideas on global warming, making sure you listen more than you talk, and then work round to household sprays and health making sure once again that you listen more than you talk.

Now, the tricky point for me is err um . . .
As a Newby, I'm not too sure how to put this, but are you completely sure that the way you said what you said in your letter is more likely to make hate than love.?

Will others dig me out the hole I've just dug for myself please?

My daughter is always spraying work surfaces with Dettox and it really makes me catch my breath even though I don’t have asthma or any breathing issues.