A bit more thoughtfulness from adult son

Our DS mentioned a bit ago that when we can meet up properly, they have various decorating jobs need doing. DH always lends a hand when such jobs arise, also gardening projects, but it doesn’t work the other way round.

Love him dearly, but he can be quite self centred. He has a demanding job, studying for another degree and two teenage children, but sometimes think he doesn’t give us much thought.

I don't think many adult children would offer to help in that situation, and you did say that he had offered you the use of his bathroom. Maybe it would have been better to ask directly, for help with a specific job.

Perhaps you should just ask for a bit of help this week-end. Just be honest, say you are exhausted and a hand would be really appreciated.

I woudn`t take it to heart tbh,at least he was thinking of you.

AC children can tend to focus on what they find important. I think it’s a left over from parent/ child days. For example how many times did we ask ‘ have you had a good day at school?’ Rarely did they asks us did we have a good day at work.
I’m sure he was keen for you to see something interesting.
As regards, cleaning the house have you thought of asking a cleaning company to do a one off blitz.

I have to say all my children have different levels of thoughtfulness towards us.
One I can rely on to be helpful in most situations. One I can rely on to be obstructive or unhelpful in most situations, and others of varying degrees in between!

It's such a joy when one of them shows they care through their thoughtfulness.
Not duty or habit just love.

I think an act of thoughtfulness is what the op actually wanted Hithere
The physical 'helpfulness' was secondary.
At least that's how I read it.

I would and have felt similarly to yourself Grandmadinosaur.

Sometimes all it takes is a chatty conversation showing someone cares.

He doesnt live with you, right?

Where did the remodeling idea come from? Yours, his?

What kind of assistance would you be expecting from him?

Yes, adult children can be rather selfish at times. Does he know how exhausted you are? Have you asked him for help? You know sometimes we assume that people have crystal balls and can see us and our lives and really they have no idea and this could be the case. Ask him for help, you might be surprised at the response.