Neighbours constantly asking for things

if they sent the text to your husband why didn't he get the items or decline to do so.

Ranworth1

What are CF's?

cheeky pluckers.
they will pluck you dry if you let them.

Stop being so NICE!
Be illusive, distant, vague, dither a bit, be unreliable, unavailable and they will soon get fed up and move onto to someone else more efficient!

We used to run our own business and two of our neighbours had work done by us but when the bill went in they didn’t want to pay. One eventually paid up but we had to take the other to court and go through mediation to obtain payment. It was very difficult and they have painted us as the ones in the wrong with some other neighbours, it has tainted our relationship with them. We vowed never to do work for friends or neighbours, we didn’t do ‘mates rates’ although it was expected and the work was quoted for beforehand.

Tell them how much the skip costs and suggest a contribution. Tell them you're thinking of getting a dog and put up a fence...

I had a neighbour like this about 35years ago. I have moved from that area now.
This woman started with borrowing 2 eggs, then a few potatoes, or a bottle of milk. I was getting a bit annoyed by this and decided to say I didn't have the things she was asking to borrow. My children were very young and at the local school. I was waiting one afternoon for them to come out of school and noticed a lady that I had seen in my road. We got talking and another lady joined us. We finished up laughing so much. It seems the woman borrowing food from me, was also borrowing from several other women in the same road. When we compared notes, she had borrowed Potatoes, tin of beans, sausage and eggs in one evening. The evening meal for her husband and her. They weren't short of money, they had a car a 3bedroom house, and always went away on holidays. We solved this problem by all saying the same when she came to borrow. Sorry! we don't have any. She got the same answer at each house, and that stopped instantly. These people are con people, they play on peoples good manners, thinking people wont have the courage to say no to them.

Lillian40 that's precisely why these people have money, they never have to buy any food.

No you're not being unreasonable, I think if it was me I'd have to start being out if I saw them knocking on my door.

My relationship with my neighbour has never been good but this week it hit the skids. We both have similar bins for garden waste and I inadvertently took hers because it was right outside my gate. I hurt my knee a few days ago and have been hobbling around in a lot of pain on an elbow crutch. She came around later accusing me of stealing it (A bin FFS??) although mine is actually newer and cleaner than hers. I suspected mine was across the road where the bin guys had left it so asked her 3 times if she could fetch it so we could swap over. She refused. Just then a bin lorry passed and I managed to persuade one of the bin guys to pull it over. She grabbed onto hers like it was made of pure gold. Instead of going she was still whinging on.

I told her to fuck off!

Of course, we only have one side of this story so I feel the need to play devil's advocate a bit here.
If the building materials had been there for a while and appeared to be surplus to requirements then they might have thought that by taking them off your hands they would be doing you a favour. With the skip, they didn't just put stuff in it - they asked you, so the neighbourly answer should surely have been that if there was space when you had finished, of course they could have it. (A real CF would just have dumped stuff in it when you weren't around!)
Asking about services and contractors? - well advice is quick and easy and costs nothing - you are obviously doing a lot in your house and probably have a head start on them and recommendations are always better than random choices.
Your husbands jobs - you said it was a shared gate, so that is for your benefit too (so why mention it?) and the solar panels - is this a major thing or just a five minute fix? If it's just knocking in a few nails for example and your husband is handy with a hammer, then what's the problem? They are probably not fit enough to do it themselves anymore if they are elderly and yes, they could ask their kids, but if your husband is already on the scene with his hammer, then why not just ask - he could always have said no. If they had, in conversation, said to you that their solar panels needed a nail knocking in and their son was coming next week to do it, your husband would probably have offered anyway! (I am assuming it is only a minor job otherwise it would require a professional).
The thing that I do find very odd however is the coming into your garden uninvited - What is all that about? I think your husband might have to apply his DIY skills to building some sort of gate as his next job (or - an idea from another thread on here - tell them that you are naturists and therefore need privacy in your garden! - that should stop them in their tracks!)
A new house is always stressful and I suspect that if their house is also new to them they are feeling stressed too so try to be kind - they could just be lonely and looking for friendship.
I hope you get everything sorted and can find a way to have a good relationship with your new neighbours

One way to let them know you don't just mean "no" for whatever separate things they're asking for but "no" in general is "Well, we've got all we can do to keep on on ourselves. We can't take care of you too." Said with a sad face.

Or I guess I should say that's one way to "try" to let them know anything. People who actually ask their neighbors for a lot anyway tend to be too thick to take hints...

What a cheek! The answer to using any of your stuff is NO!! They are taking the proverbial. Firm but polite is all you need x

In my younger days I was always very obliging and helpful so invariably would get taken advantage of. My mum noticed this and she quoted this “people would only do to you what you allow them to do.” I now live by this motto although still helpful if needed.

Edith81

In my younger days I was always very obliging and helpful so invariably would get taken advantage of. My mum noticed this and she quoted this “people would only do to you what you allow them to do.” I now live by this motto although still helpful if needed.

As my father used to say, 'they'll flog a willing horse to death.'

Stay on good terms but do not allow them to sponge on you. they clearly have not idea of social boundaries and need to be told. So you will have to be quite assertive and firm with them.

Please do not put anything in our skip. If when we have filled it, there is some space left, we will let you know. etc.

My neighbor keeps asking for me to make her something to eat late at night. 2-3 times a week.Frequently asking me to sew things for her and her grandkids. I fell off of a ladder yesterday, had to go to the hospital which she is aware of and unable to use right arm and tonight at 9:48pm she wants me to make her cheddar fries. I made them but isn’t that rude or no?

This thread is 3 years old TLLRH - it might be better to start a new one with your recent comment.

Takingthelongwayhome

My neighbor keeps asking for me to make her something to eat late at night. 2-3 times a week.Frequently asking me to sew things for her and her grandkids. I fell off of a ladder yesterday, had to go to the hospital which she is aware of and unable to use right arm and tonight at 9:48pm she wants me to make her cheddar fries. I made them but isn’t that rude or no?

How about not answering the phone or ignoring the messages.

You are not being unreasonable in feeling 'put on' but just start politely saying 'NO' . There must be others who they can approach and I don't want to sound mean but they are not your responsibility. Yes, it is nice to help one another out from time to time but it does sound like this couple are extracting the urine.

Another suggestion for the scrounging building materials - put up a sign for a yard sale for the redundant stuff, selling it very cheap would make you a bit of cash, help anyone who needs and and the couple might take the hint that your not a freebie building materials supplier.

Finally, try to enjoy your new home

Oooops, just noticed how old this thread is - that'll teach me to concentrate

MelBB

Fence panel security brackets are useful too. ☺️

What a simple idea!
Had never heard of them and don't need them but 😯!

What are things like now nellgwynne - are you still there?

.............................*takingthelongwayhome*......................

please share how you found this three year old thread?

May 2021!

Takingthelongwayhome

My neighbor keeps asking for me to make her something to eat late at night. 2-3 times a week.Frequently asking me to sew things for her and her grandkids. I fell off of a ladder yesterday, had to go to the hospital which she is aware of and unable to use right arm and tonight at 9:48pm she wants me to make her cheddar fries. I made them but isn’t that rude or no?

I think your neighbour was thoughtless, but I'm wondering why you made the fries? You could have said, I only have the use of one arm so I won't today?

In a way, people treat you how you train them to treat you.

We used to look after our neighbours dog at our house 2 - 4 times a week while he went shopping etc.

Not once did he ask if we needed anything while he was out shopping even though he knew my DH was housebound.

My DH has now been in a care home for two years and he does not even ask after him or me for that matter, but at least I do not have to say no to him.

People never cease to amaze me.