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AIBU

Drove over my flowerbed

(65 Posts)
Caleo Mon 05-Jul-21 12:51:47

My son was nearly ready to leave my place. We were on the front drive and I showed him my clover patch and how it was so pretty. A few minutes later he drove over the middle of my clover (and a few other wild flowers). With a little care and patience he could easily have avoided the flower patch.
I don't mind him teasing me about my liking for what he calls weeds, but this was too much and I am disappointed and annoyed.

greenlady102 Mon 05-Jul-21 12:52:33

accidentally or on purpose?

timetogo2016 Mon 05-Jul-21 12:56:40

Not nice either way.
I would make him park on the road in future.

Caleo Mon 05-Jul-21 13:07:43

Greenlady, I do not know. He is very good at handling a car. As timetogo says not nice either way.

He takes offence very readily, and is also a big help to me in important ways. He also says how much he appreciates the lovely dinners I make for him. The fact is he is unconscious of wild flowers, never sees them, which unless someone has paid money for them, he calls weeds.

Hetty58 Mon 05-Jul-21 13:13:01

I'd put a few large rocks there to stop it happening again!

NotSpaghetti Mon 05-Jul-21 13:21:35

I'm with you Hetty
A few large rocks or similar.

Poppyred Mon 05-Jul-21 13:21:46

What `Hetty58 said!

NanKate Mon 05-Jul-21 14:01:25

I would be having words !! I would also explain how upsetting it was to see the lovely flowers mown down and would say I am very disappointed at his thoughtlessness.

Baggs Mon 05-Jul-21 14:41:48

Actually quite savage if it really wasn't necessary and straight after you'd been talking to him about your wildflower patch. Is he nastily disrespectful generally?

FarNorth Mon 05-Jul-21 14:52:15

Would be normally need to drive in that direction?
If so, maybe he was forgetful.
If not, he was nasty.

Put some rocks there and draw them to his attention.

JdotJ Tue 06-Jul-21 10:35:14

I'd slap the back of his legsangry

polnan Tue 06-Jul-21 10:38:00

Rocks. not saying where though

Dylant1234 Tue 06-Jul-21 10:39:02

If deliberate, that’s abusive.
If accidental - well, let it go - the rocks idea is good!

Alioop Tue 06-Jul-21 10:41:46

Rocks idea very good and no more dinners for son

jaylucy Tue 06-Jul-21 10:42:40

I'd say childish !
Like a naughty little boy told not to do something, he straight away went and did it!
Large stones or rocks are quite a good idea although not sure that it would stop him doing it again.
I don't really understand why you can't point out to him that what he did was wrong - and pointless. Yes, you may rely on him to do certain things for you and he knows that and holds you to ransom by his behaviour, thinking he can get away with it because you won't say anything.
You either have to just accept that the wild flowers will grow again and hope he doesn't do it again and put up with his form of bullying or stand up to him at the risk of losing his help, but possibly being able to get that help from outside your family or maybe from another family member.
Age UK offer a lot of services that might be useful to you as back up .

JaneJudge Tue 06-Jul-21 10:42:57

So you cooked your son dinner and then afterwards took him out to see your flowerbed...then he drove over it? confused

Mollygo Tue 06-Jul-21 10:46:34

If, as you say, he’s a good driver, just ask him if he will be able to avoid squashing the clover/wildflowers/weeds on the way out next time.
That way you’ll know whether or not he’s a good driver or just plain mean.

glammanana Tue 06-Jul-21 10:57:00

I would not be happy about this at all and make him repair the damage he sounds very disrespectful to me surely he knew what he was doing .

TrendyNannie6 Tue 06-Jul-21 11:04:22

I’m thinking surely he knew he was driving over the flowerbed, you know where you are driving surely, yep I’d be really cross after telling him about how you liked them, you say he’s a good driver and could have avoided them, there’s the answer then…. Very childish

Peff68 Tue 06-Jul-21 11:10:09

Completely disrespectful, I don’t think kids realise how upsetting they can be.

Still make I’m dinner maybe add some laxatives to his!

Toadinthehole Tue 06-Jul-21 11:10:27

It does depend on whether it was deliberate, which would be so hurtful, or carelessness. I know what you mean about getting teased. Our children do it, but it really isn’t malicious. They’d be most concerned about a serious matter.

You know your son, and the best way to approach it I would have thought. If I thought it was deliberate, to be honest, I don’t know what I’d do. I’d be upset, and would probably shout at him. If careless, yes, maybe get him to park somewhere else, or could you put a border around the plants?
Hope you sort it.

Notright Tue 06-Jul-21 11:11:12

He takes offence easily! He takes the things you do for him without question! How come he doesn't care about not hurting your feelings and respecting your choices. ~Stop doing so much for him and if he asks why tell him.

Daisymae Tue 06-Jul-21 11:12:51

I think that at the least you need to talk to him about what happened.

Paperbackwriter Tue 06-Jul-21 11:15:53

You don't owe him sensitivity for the fact that he takes offence easily. You have been offended so tell him and expect him to deal with it. Otherwise you're just mollycoddling him. You don't say how old he is but if he's old enough to drive, he's a grown-up and needs to know what he's done.

PJN1952 Tue 06-Jul-21 11:17:44

Are our adult sons going through a cosmic shower just now?
My son was seen encouraging our ageing rescue cat on to the new sofa that cost me a lot of money and only arrived on Sunday!
He didn’t try to entice her up on to the of battered leather one…. What was he thinking! I think he and the cat need to move out of my house.