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Drove over my flowerbed

(66 Posts)
Caleo Mon 05-Jul-21 12:51:47

My son was nearly ready to leave my place. We were on the front drive and I showed him my clover patch and how it was so pretty. A few minutes later he drove over the middle of my clover (and a few other wild flowers). With a little care and patience he could easily have avoided the flower patch.
I don't mind him teasing me about my liking for what he calls weeds, but this was too much and I am disappointed and annoyed.

Hithere Wed 07-Jul-21 12:54:28

Could it be on the driveway area or unavoidable to drive over? Where was the location of the patch?

I dont think "Isnt my clover lovely" conveys the work and love you have for that patch, in my opinion.

Furthermore, you say your son doesnt value wild vegetation as much as you do - so the clover incident could be just an example of this

In the future, I would clearly state to him: "I really enjoy this patch of clover and wildflowers, they are gorgeous! Please work around it to avoid disturbing it"

Your son is in his 60s, so very set on his mindset, same as you.
Mowing the lawn is not such an easy task, please do not underestimate his effort.

I would just avoid subjects with him that tick you both off.
If it helps, hire somebody to mow the lawn to avoid discussions.

Nell8 Wed 07-Jul-21 15:14:36

Sadly I think you might be fighting a losing battle, Caleo . In my experience a man in charge of a machine or wielding a tool loses the ability to comprehend anything said by a woman other than "Do you want a cup of tea?" I spent ages explaining to a team of tree surgeons just how I wanted my hedge trimmed. "OK" they said before completely ignoring my instructions. My DH is happy to cut the edges of the lawn but it has to be done his way i.e. leaving lots of lumpy, bumpy tufts. Like your son he's in his sixties and doesn't like being told what to do!

Madgran77 Wed 07-Jul-21 15:30:54

I suggest pointing out that he drove straight over the flowers you had just shown him, that you know he thinks of them as weeds but you don't and to please NOT do it again! Then every time he is leaving remind him and stand in front of the flowers so he cant drive over them without knocking you over. That will deal with any "memory lapses", " thoughtlessness" and also make clear that you seriously do not want you flowers driven over!

Caleo Wed 07-Jul-21 21:34:19

Thanks Baggs.I have almost decided to leave the long grass over autumn and winter , as it will make a mat that might prevent dog runs and scrapes, then it will wither.
I did ask my son about using a sickle and he said he had used one at his brother in law's . He had to give it up as the area was not only grass but also tough old stems of cow parsley. I doubt if he will want to invest in a scythe. I will ask my son to sickle cut my grass that grows by
the stepping stone paths.

I like your action for wild flowers and grass.

Caleo Wed 07-Jul-21 21:41:46

Yes Hithere, the position of the clover patch was the problem. Today all was sorted. I asked Son1 to wait while Son2 drove out first so that Son 1 could avoid driving over the clover patch. All was well and they both drove away happily to watch England playing Denmark.

Shropshirelass Thu 08-Jul-21 08:53:40

It shows a lack of respect to you. I would put some rocks there too, if he thinks he might scratch his wheels he won’t drive over them!

FarNorth Thu 08-Jul-21 14:12:23

Good news Caleo.
A few craftily placed rocks could still be a good idea, to save you having to be so watchful every time.

welbeck Thu 08-Jul-21 16:06:48

now i've heard about the back grassland, i'm feeling more sympathy for the son.
it's v hard work keeping grass down, moreso if it's someone else's.
you cannot expect him to wield a scythe or sickle, esp if he is not a manual worker by trade. and why should he. from his point of view you are just making tasks more labourious.
could he use a strimmer on the back. any kind of power tool would be preferable.
i do sympathise with re-wilding, and wildlife etc. but as he has to keep down all this luxuriant vegetation, it just becomes another chore to deal with. he may resent you making these chores more difficult to accomplish.
do you have the moolah to employ someone to do what you want. if not perhaps some accommodation is needed.
good luck.

Baggs Thu 08-Jul-21 17:14:31

you cannot expect him to wield a scythe or sickle, esp if he is not a manual worker by trade.

Yes you can. Scything a whole massive meadow, maybe not – in fact a whole row of scythers would normally do it – but a garden. Pshaw. If I can do it (a 5'3" 52kg arthritic woman in my mid-sixties) so can a fit man, especially if he builds up gradually as you should with any new exercise.

Young teenagers can safely use a scythe if taught properly.

Baggs Thu 08-Jul-21 17:15:40

Anyway, I'm glad to hear a resolution has happened, Caleo smile

Madgran77 Thu 08-Jul-21 17:23:52

Today all was sorted. I asked Son1 to wait while Son2 drove out first so that Son 1 could avoid driving over the clover patch. All was well and they both drove away happily to watch England playing Denmark.

That's good!

Baggs Thu 08-Jul-21 19:06:24

The word is snath or snathe, not snaff. Not sure what happened there; one doesn't snaffle wildflowers. Anyway, how meadows are scythed is really well described, after a fashion, in the old song about one man going to mow. Mowing a meadow was a whole community exercise: a line of scythers followed by a line of rakers and sheaf makers, people with refreshments, and gleaners when all the main work was done.

It's really pretty much summed up by:
One man went to mow,
Went to mow a meadow.
One man and his dog, Spot,
bottle of pop,
sausage roll,
Ole Mother Riley and the cow,
the ktchen sink
and the girl next door
WENT to mow a meadow.

Here's a link to the type of scythes we have should anyone be interested.

Baggs Sat 10-Jul-21 21:13:59

A possible illustration of biodiversity possibilities if you let Nature do its thing is shown in a half square metre right outside our back door where the following species have seeded and grown:

Annual Meadow Grass
Broad-leaved Plantain
Common Cat's-ear
Common Yellow Sedge
Creeping Soft Grass
Cuckoo flower
Herb Bennet
Liverwort: Pellia epiphylla
Meadow Buttercup
Northern Marsh Orchid
Procumbent Pearlwort
Red Fescue
Ribwort Plantain
Sharp-flowered Rush
Slender Rush
Toad Rush
White Clover
+ at least 2 mosses

Caleo Sun 11-Jul-21 10:25:50

Baggs, don't you find that some o wild species take over if you don't weed them out?

I found two enthusiastic Oxford ragworts among my long grass and cut them down before they seeded. I get rid of brambles much as I like them , as they would overrun all other low growing things. Dockens I cut down whenever I find them ; is is a pity as I know some little birds like the seeds, but I don't like the look of dockens.

Caleo Sun 11-Jul-21 10:32:18

Welbeck you are correct ! This is part of the problem and possible solution just as you say. I can and would get paid help except that would hurt my son's feelings and he is very good to me and likes being kind and helpful.

We have has now agreed he to cut the borders of the steppping stone paths so I am not so likely to trip up over the long grass.