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AIBU

Drove over my flowerbed

(66 Posts)
Caleo Mon 05-Jul-21 12:51:47

My son was nearly ready to leave my place. We were on the front drive and I showed him my clover patch and how it was so pretty. A few minutes later he drove over the middle of my clover (and a few other wild flowers). With a little care and patience he could easily have avoided the flower patch.
I don't mind him teasing me about my liking for what he calls weeds, but this was too much and I am disappointed and annoyed.

FarNorth Tue 06-Jul-21 17:28:56

Dibbydod that's not the point - it seems like deliberate nastiness from the son.
Are you okay with that?

Dibbydod Tue 06-Jul-21 15:54:20

Can’t understand why all the upset over a patch of clovers and wild flowers , as nice as they are , they grow everywhere in abundance and always spring back , that’s what wild flowers do . It’s not as if you’d gone to a local Garden Centre and bought some lovely expensive flowering bedding plants which were coming along spectacularly then he drove over them ! Now that would be bad ! !

coastalgran Tue 06-Jul-21 15:52:35

Remind him that you are his mother and he is still your child and if he thought that he was being funny he wasn't.

Glenco Tue 06-Jul-21 13:46:54

Hmmm, Sounds rather abusive to me. He knows you need his help and feels he can treat you with less respect than he should. Make him not so nice dinners and maybe accidentally/teasingly tip one in his lap. Personally I'd have had words with him at or after the incident.

3nanny6 Tue 06-Jul-21 13:37:11

Just wondering if the clover patch is in the middle of the drive where the car parks? If the patch is in the middle of the drive then it was probably an accident. If the clover patch is situated
off the drive then he done it on purpose and he is a callous
idiot that just likes to hurt your feelings. Shame on him.

Nannashirlz Tue 06-Jul-21 13:26:54

I’d ground him for a week, was he laughing when he did it or was it an accident but seriously thou are you really getting upset over a few flowers which can be regrow. Life’s too short to worry about the small things in life.

Tanjamaltija Tue 06-Jul-21 12:31:05

You pointed out the flowers. so he knew where they were. He feels entitled, because he helps you, and thinks you would not dare tell him off... because he is an adult, and because he will pout and refuse to help, next time. Well, if you have to pay for whatever it is he does for free, you won't have money enough to buy ingredients for his meals. It's that easy.

Newatthis Tue 06-Jul-21 12:06:06

Very nasty thing to do. Big rocks and street parking in the future!

grandtanteJE65 Tue 06-Jul-21 11:41:49

This is the first time I have ever heard anyone complaining about their son being kind to the cat!

But to return to OP - tell your son you were cross about him driving over the patch of clover you had just told him you liked.

Stop walking on egg-shells round people just because they help you. You have thank him for his help; you are entitled to point incidents that displease you out.

H1954 Tue 06-Jul-21 11:40:21

What a spiteful, despicable thing to do! He knew the flowers, wild or not, were there and he knew you were proud of them yet he chose to deliberately drive be over them, bloody moron!

JulieMM Tue 06-Jul-21 11:32:40

Get some acrylic paints and decorate rocks and pebbles - you could include one that politely says keep off my wild flowers. If you have young grandchildren or nieces and nephews they’ll enjoy helping you.

Aepgirl Tue 06-Jul-21 11:31:23

Has he apologised? If not, I assume that he did it on purpose and you should let him know you are not pleased with his behaviour. You don’t say how old he is, but as he can drive he is old enough to know right from wrong.

knspol Tue 06-Jul-21 11:29:49

Surely it was just an accident. He probably doesn't even realise he's done it, why not just ask him??

Daisend1 Tue 06-Jul-21 11:24:13

Clearly has no respect for you. Do you have other children ?as 'son' needs putting in his place and his sibling/s are the one to stand by you and put their ' bro' in his place ?

Theoddbird Tue 06-Jul-21 11:22:04

I would be moving his stuff out right now. Lack of respect for you....

PJN1952 Tue 06-Jul-21 11:17:44

Are our adult sons going through a cosmic shower just now?
My son was seen encouraging our ageing rescue cat on to the new sofa that cost me a lot of money and only arrived on Sunday!
He didn’t try to entice her up on to the of battered leather one…. What was he thinking! I think he and the cat need to move out of my house.

Paperbackwriter Tue 06-Jul-21 11:15:53

You don't owe him sensitivity for the fact that he takes offence easily. You have been offended so tell him and expect him to deal with it. Otherwise you're just mollycoddling him. You don't say how old he is but if he's old enough to drive, he's a grown-up and needs to know what he's done.

Daisymae Tue 06-Jul-21 11:12:51

I think that at the least you need to talk to him about what happened.

Notright Tue 06-Jul-21 11:11:12

He takes offence easily! He takes the things you do for him without question! How come he doesn't care about not hurting your feelings and respecting your choices. ~Stop doing so much for him and if he asks why tell him.

Toadinthehole Tue 06-Jul-21 11:10:27

It does depend on whether it was deliberate, which would be so hurtful, or carelessness. I know what you mean about getting teased. Our children do it, but it really isn’t malicious. They’d be most concerned about a serious matter.

You know your son, and the best way to approach it I would have thought. If I thought it was deliberate, to be honest, I don’t know what I’d do. I’d be upset, and would probably shout at him. If careless, yes, maybe get him to park somewhere else, or could you put a border around the plants?
Hope you sort it.

Peff68 Tue 06-Jul-21 11:10:09

Completely disrespectful, I don’t think kids realise how upsetting they can be.

Still make I’m dinner maybe add some laxatives to his!

TrendyNannie6 Tue 06-Jul-21 11:04:22

I’m thinking surely he knew he was driving over the flowerbed, you know where you are driving surely, yep I’d be really cross after telling him about how you liked them, you say he’s a good driver and could have avoided them, there’s the answer then…. Very childish

glammanana Tue 06-Jul-21 10:57:00

I would not be happy about this at all and make him repair the damage he sounds very disrespectful to me surely he knew what he was doing .

Mollygo Tue 06-Jul-21 10:46:34

If, as you say, he’s a good driver, just ask him if he will be able to avoid squashing the clover/wildflowers/weeds on the way out next time.
That way you’ll know whether or not he’s a good driver or just plain mean.

JaneJudge Tue 06-Jul-21 10:42:57

So you cooked your son dinner and then afterwards took him out to see your flowerbed...then he drove over it? confused