Drove over my flowerbed

Welbeck you are correct ! This is part of the problem and possible solution just as you say. I can and would get paid help except that would hurt my son's feelings and he is very good to me and likes being kind and helpful.

We have has now agreed he to cut the borders of the steppping stone paths so I am not so likely to trip up over the long grass.

Baggs, don't you find that some o wild species take over if you don't weed them out?

I found two enthusiastic Oxford ragworts among my long grass and cut them down before they seeded. I get rid of brambles much as I like them , as they would overrun all other low growing things. Dockens I cut down whenever I find them ; is is a pity as I know some little birds like the seeds, but I don't like the look of dockens.

A possible illustration of biodiversity possibilities if you let Nature do its thing is shown in a half square metre right outside our back door where the following species have seeded and grown:

Annual Meadow Grass
Broad-leaved Plantain
Common Cat's-ear
Common Yellow Sedge
Creeping Soft Grass
Cuckoo flower
Daisy
Dandelion
Forgetmenot
Herb Bennet
Liverwort: Pellia epiphylla
Meadow Buttercup
Northern Marsh Orchid
Procumbent Pearlwort
Red Fescue
Ribwort Plantain
Self-heal
Sharp-flowered Rush
Slender Rush
Toad Rush
White Clover
+ at least 2 mosses

The word is snath or snathe, not snaff. Not sure what happened there; one doesn't snaffle wildflowers. Anyway, how meadows are scythed is really well described, after a fashion, in the old song about one man going to mow. Mowing a meadow was a whole community exercise: a line of scythers followed by a line of rakers and sheaf makers, people with refreshments, and gleaners when all the main work was done.

It's really pretty much summed up by:
One man went to mow,
Went to mow a meadow.
One man and his dog, Spot,
bottle of pop,
sausage roll,
Ole Mother Riley and the cow,
the ktchen sink
and the girl next door
WENT to mow a meadow.


Here's a link to the type of scythes we have should anyone be interested.

Today all was sorted. I asked Son1 to wait while Son2 drove out first so that Son 1 could avoid driving over the clover patch. All was well and they both drove away happily to watch England playing Denmark.

That's good!

Anyway, I'm glad to hear a resolution has happened, Caleo

you cannot expect him to wield a scythe or sickle, esp if he is not a manual worker by trade.

Yes you can. Scything a whole massive meadow, maybe not – in fact a whole row of scythers would normally do it – but a garden. Pshaw. If I can do it (a 5'3" 52kg arthritic woman in my mid-sixties) so can a fit man, especially if he builds up gradually as you should with any new exercise.

Young teenagers can safely use a scythe if taught properly.

now i've heard about the back grassland, i'm feeling more sympathy for the son.
it's v hard work keeping grass down, moreso if it's someone else's.
you cannot expect him to wield a scythe or sickle, esp if he is not a manual worker by trade. and why should he. from his point of view you are just making tasks more labourious.
could he use a strimmer on the back. any kind of power tool would be preferable.
i do sympathise with re-wilding, and wildlife etc. but as he has to keep down all this luxuriant vegetation, it just becomes another chore to deal with. he may resent you making these chores more difficult to accomplish.
do you have the moolah to employ someone to do what you want. if not perhaps some accommodation is needed.
good luck.

Good news Caleo.
A few craftily placed rocks could still be a good idea, to save you having to be so watchful every time.

It shows a lack of respect to you. I would put some rocks there too, if he thinks he might scratch his wheels he won’t drive over them!

Yes Hithere, the position of the clover patch was the problem. Today all was sorted. I asked Son1 to wait while Son2 drove out first so that Son 1 could avoid driving over the clover patch. All was well and they both drove away happily to watch England playing Denmark.

Thanks Baggs.I have almost decided to leave the long grass over autumn and winter , as it will make a mat that might prevent dog runs and scrapes, then it will wither.
I did ask my son about using a sickle and he said he had used one at his brother in law's . He had to give it up as the area was not only grass but also tough old stems of cow parsley. I doubt if he will want to invest in a scythe. I will ask my son to sickle cut my grass that grows by
the stepping stone paths.

I like your action for wild flowers and grass.

I suggest pointing out that he drove straight over the flowers you had just shown him, that you know he thinks of them as weeds but you don't and to please NOT do it again! Then every time he is leaving remind him and stand in front of the flowers so he cant drive over them without knocking you over. That will deal with any "memory lapses", " thoughtlessness" and also make clear that you seriously do not want you flowers driven over!

Sadly I think you might be fighting a losing battle, Caleo . In my experience a man in charge of a machine or wielding a tool loses the ability to comprehend anything said by a woman other than "Do you want a cup of tea?" I spent ages explaining to a team of tree surgeons just how I wanted my hedge trimmed. "OK" they said before completely ignoring my instructions. My DH is happy to cut the edges of the lawn but it has to be done his way i.e. leaving lots of lumpy, bumpy tufts. Like your son he's in his sixties and doesn't like being told what to do!

Could it be on the driveway area or unavoidable to drive over? Where was the location of the patch?

I dont think "Isnt my clover lovely" conveys the work and love you have for that patch, in my opinion.

Furthermore, you say your son doesnt value wild vegetation as much as you do - so the clover incident could be just an example of this

In the future, I would clearly state to him: "I really enjoy this patch of clover and wildflowers, they are gorgeous! Please work around it to avoid disturbing it"

Your son is in his 60s, so very set on his mindset, same as you.
Mowing the lawn is not such an easy task, please do not underestimate his effort.

I would just avoid subjects with him that tick you both off.
If it helps, hire somebody to mow the lawn to avoid discussions.

PS maybe point your son in the direction of Plantlife.org: "Plantlife is the charity that raises the profile, celebrates the beauty and protects the future of our wild flowers and plants."

He doesn't have to be interested in wild plants himself to respect your interest. Good luck!

For a fit man in his sixties, I'd say scything would be a doddle in the average urban garden. I'm in my mid-sixties and not particularly fit (fibromyalgia and other annoyances) and can scythe a small area even on a steep slope. Doing a large area over several days is how I approach it, husband ditto.

I think a scythe would be better than a small hook (sickle). For a start, you don't have to bend down with a scythe so it's better for your back and, because it's a two-handed tool, its weight is well distributed (as well as being much lighter than a strimmer).

We have three blades and two snaths (the long wooden bit) because it means we don't have to adjust the grip handles every time if we each have our own. Two of the blades are standard meadow blades but because we live on a hill we bought a ditch blade as well. That is the one I use the most.

It's important to keep the scythe blade sharp. Grass is tough stuff.

Baggs, you understand it as whole problem! My son's attitude is that the clover patch does in fact look like, what admittedly most people would think was, a part of the weedy drive. But he has not been around to watch me as I pulled up the sticky willy so the buttercups, clover, and wild grasses would thrive, and how I watched over that patch literally daily with pleasure.
Also I had just pointed it out to him "Isn't my clover lovely!"

My son's lack of knowledge about wild flowers is so ingrained that he cannot believe that someone really is serious about what he called weeds.

I also have exactly the problem as you describe it with my back garden. My son cuts grass for me as I can't do it now. He complains about how he can't lawn -mow the back garden, which is like a hay field. Please would you tell me if a scythe or smaller hook is very hard work for a fit man in his 60s?

Dibbydod

Can’t understand why all the upset over a patch of clovers and wild flowers , as nice as they are , they grow everywhere in abundance and always spring back , that’s what wild flowers do . It’s not as if you’d gone to a local Garden Centre and bought some lovely expensive flowering bedding plants which were coming along spectacularly then he drove over them ! Now that would be bad ! !

Actually they don’t grow everywhere and in abundance. That’s the problem. That’s why people are being encouraged to let their lawns grow wild during the spring. Insects need the food that flowers even as humble as clover provide. (Humbleness aside, ifyou look closely at clover flowers they’re actually very beautiful).

Ideally, then one would let the flowers make seed and drop it so not cut the lawn during the summer season either. Unfortunately, a lot of people can’t ‘deal with’ (i.e. tolerate) what they see as the untidiness.

In purely urban settings along tidy streets, this is understandable. There’s also the problem that if your lawn grows into a big thick thatch of wild plants it’s physically difficult to mow it in the autumn. We use scythes on our wild bits, rake up the hay, and then mow mechanically.

I can’t visualise where the clover is for him to drive over it ??
Do you really think he did it on purpose if so very very mean
I think the rocks are an excellent idea

Just ask him without being cross. ….. Do you realise that you drove over my Clover? It was damaged.

However, I think it’s not so much about the actual Clover rather it’s was he being disrespectful.

if you make yourself a doormat, people will walk on you.

If this provoked a row you would both be upset. If your son had an accident the flowers would not mean a thing. You have a son whom you love, let it go.

Next time you make him his "nice meal", just before you serve it take a big spoon to it and destroy the lovely presentation......childish maybe, but if he asks what has happened, just say
very blasé "oh the same that happened to my clover patch, minus the wheels".

knspol

Surely it was just an accident. He probably doesn't even realise he's done it, why not just ask him??

That's what I thought too.