Husband refusing to take COVID test

I can see both sides of this. If you're both jabbed and have no symptoms, I wouldn't be inclined to take a test either. But it's not a huge ask to do one either. I'm not sure what the right answer is but I hope you work it out.

I cant see why he wont take the test given your Mothers frailty, and your feelings on it.
If you are really worried say you are going on your own.

No test no visit

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.
We both took a home lateral flow test before we visited our daughter while she was pregnant. She hadn't been vaccinated at the time but we'd had both.
It reassured her and her partner.

It’s not about him, it’s about your dear mum, God bless her. Give your husband a kick up the behind and tell him to stop being so selfish.
If he won’t do it, make him stay at home.
Better safe than sorry. Even the double jabbed can still pass it on.

To be honest I think he should take the test to put your mind at rest at the very least....and the fact that he refuses would definitely make me say no test, no visit but also make me ponder on his lack of willingness to compromise to save me worry!

He is being totally unreasonable.
Has he got a reputation for being deliberately obstructive because if my OH became like that I would be reconsidering our relationship no matter how long we'd been together.

It's probably because he's read about the harmful chemicals in the test. Ask him if he's concerned about those.

It's best he stays at home. Your Mum, your rules.

If he is concerned about the strong chemicals used in the test, remind him that the chemicals never touch you - you add two drops to the sample after it leaves your mouth/nose and then wait for the reaction. You would need to be really stupid with it to come to any harm.

Sometimes it’s fear that stops us doing this. I think he’s doing the I’m ok so why should I test thing.?

Ethylene Oxide is the sterilising compound onward
Here's the info:
fullfact.org/online/lateral-flow-tests-ethylene-oxide/
less harmful than bleach with less residue

Why not ask him to stay inside for 2 weeks instead? That's what my daughter did when she visited her grandmother in pre-testing days.

Elegran

If he is concerned about the strong chemicals used in the test, remind him that the chemicals never touch you - you add two drops to the sample after it leaves your mouth/nose and then wait for the reaction. You would need to be really stupid with it to come to any harm.

It's the sterilization of the swabs that people are getting bothered about.

Awesome. Thanks for the info. I've never done a test because I dont mix apart from outdoors but I will need to take one soon in order to visit someone vulnerable and it has worried me since someone told me they caused cancer (mind you they were an anti vaxxer)

Top reply Infinity2.

I'd definitely say no test, no visit and stick to my guns.

TBH if he doesn't like her, he shouldn't go anyway.

How selfish he is considering he does not get on with your lovely mum.
Make him stay home and enjoy your mums company with out this awful man.

He is being absolutely pathetic.
But I wouldn’t argue. Firmly tell him no test no visit. And do not revisit the conversation.
If he tries to bring it up cut him off and tell him nothing has changed and it will not be discussed further.

I agree with you; no test no visit. Has he given you a reason why he doesn't want to do the test? They are so quick and easy - all high school students have been testing themselves twice a week all term, and he can't do just one for your mum?

I totally agree with glammanana. As you don’t seem to be able to reason with him, I’d be inclined to think of a reason why he shouldn’t go - girly talk, looking at old family photos, anything you know he can’t tolerate. Be obdurate. If you agree to him going you’ll only worry about protecting your mum and feel uncomfortable as you know he’s not keen on her. Who needs this? Fob him off then have a great time with your mum.

He shouldn’t visit her without a negative test. We met up with friends recently and one is clinically vulnerable. We all did LFTs beforehand. Common decency. I would leave him at home!

NotSpaghetti

Elegran

If he is concerned about the strong chemicals used in the test, remind him that the chemicals never touch you - you add two drops to the sample after it leaves your mouth/nose and then wait for the reaction. You would need to be really stupid with it to come to any harm.

It's the sterilization of the swabs that people are getting bothered about.

Is that used also in surgeries and hospitals to sterilise the thousands of instruments, swabs etc that are used every day?

Is he normally stubborn or unwilling to comply ?
I agree with all the above posts he should take the test with you watching (or he might just say he’s took one) or not go at all and if he doesn’t much like your mum be far best if he didn’t go you have to protect her
Just tell him because of her age and vulnerability it’s best to go alone and then enjoy your time with her without worrying about him
She does well with no help

In your husband’s eyes, then, people like me must be incredibly brave, taking a lateral flow test twice a week for months, enduring the pain, suffering and risks to health each time.

Alternatively, he’s being a wimp.

My money is on the latter.

Maybe he’s concerned about testing positive and having to isolate? Not a good reason, it’s a shame he won’t discuss it with you.