To think that a trend is starting here

I don't usually post on 'serious' threads. However, I have suffered terribly with my mental health to the point where I really didn't want to be here. Mine was due to a succession of traumatic events.
When I first saw these athletes pulling out, I thought 'Oh come off it'. Thinking about it, maybe they are doing the right thing nipping it in the bud before they break. Maybe if I'd done something sooner, I wouldn't have got so ill. I used to be one of the 'pull yourself together' brigade until it happened to me. It's horrendous and frightening. I no longer judge.

Germanshepherdmum said "But I do expect that if you aren’t the sort of person who can take stress, you find a less stressful occupation."

Sometimes the stress is not caused by the occupation. Sometimes the mental health problem is not stress.
Sometimes a young woman can sit in a concert hall and look beautiful but be quietly and painfully wishing herself dead.

We don't know do we.

Maybe much lifelong mental health is caused by the 'toughening up' process we endure as children inflicted by parents who operate in a compassion vaccuum.

To battle on is not always the wise or brave way.

Kate1949

I don't usually post on 'serious' threads. However, I have suffered terribly with my mental health to the point where I really didn't want to be here. Mine was due to a succession of traumatic events.
When I first saw these athletes pulling out, I thought 'Oh come off it'. Thinking about it, maybe they are doing the right thing nipping it in the bud before they break. Maybe if I'd done something sooner, I wouldn't have got so ill. I used to be one of the 'pull yourself together' brigade until it happened to me. It's horrendous and frightening. I no longer judge.

A beautiful and brave post Kate 1949. I hope you stay well.

Yes, we all inconvenience others at times. Of course we do, and yes, it goes with the territory of being human. I’m not complaining about that. Where I have an issue (and not with an athlete who realises that she can’t continue) is when colleagues regularly stay off work because they are not up to the job, or because there is something that they don’t like doing.

The idea that we should all protect our own mental health at the expense of others’ is never going to end well. There will be a snowball effect as if I stay off when the gizmos need feeding**, you have to feed both mine and your own, so the stress gets to you. You prioritise your own MH and stay off, so Miss Muggins gets to feed three lots and so it goes on. In the end either the gizmos die and no-one has a job, or someone has to step up and do it.

That’s not discriminating or being unsympathetic to people who can’t tolerate stress. What would you say to someone who developed an allergy to gizmos? Go and work with the grommets? That’s all I’m saying - just don’t cling to a job you can’t do and expect others to cover for you on a regular basis.

**insert any relevant stressful activity relevant to your line of work

Oh thank you Moorland. Your post brought a lump to my throat. Once, when I was working, a colleague implied that I was 'weak' because I had no confidence, little ambition apart from giving my child a decent upbringing which I never had.
I had to smile. This person had no idea what I had been through. Why would they? I just think not everyone is tiptoeing through the tulips. We should never assume everyone has had the same life experiences.

Kate1949

I don't usually post on 'serious' threads. However, I have suffered terribly with my mental health to the point where I really didn't want to be here. Mine was due to a succession of traumatic events.
When I first saw these athletes pulling out, I thought 'Oh come off it'. Thinking about it, maybe they are doing the right thing nipping it in the bud before they break. Maybe if I'd done something sooner, I wouldn't have got so ill. I used to be one of the 'pull yourself together' brigade until it happened to me. It's horrendous and frightening. I no longer judge.

Absolutely.

I had a complete mental breakdown at work, and looking back it was clear that the warning signs were there for at a number of years.

I ignored them. In fact I don’t think I appreciated what the signals were telling me. Stress headaches, anxiety, inability to stop working. Inability to say no, amongst other signals I should have recognised. I was also under pressure at home with my mother getting me to organise her house move and DH wanting to move to an area which made it extremely difficult for me to travel - I didn’t drive at the time. They were all there. One day I (apparently-I have no memory of it) I started to cry, and appeared to not know where I was or the people around me.

It took me 24 hours - the doctor said to DH x take her home and come back tomorrow after a rest- to begin to come out of the complete fog I was in. I requested that I not be given drugs and he complied with my request and organised CBT councillor for me. I was off sick for 8 weeks, and have never looked back.

I learned so much in that time and I felt mentally 100% stronger.

But the message to take away.

Recognise the signals - don’t ignore them. Take action to mitigate it as soon as you understand what is happening.

BlueBelle

Not sure what that means timetogo are you meaning she shouldn’t have gone to the olympics at all when she was on top form ??? Do you mean she should have said I won’t go and take up a place because I might, just might have a panic attack or I might, just might have flashbacks that make me unable to carry on She couldn’t foresee how it would go before the day any more than Zola Budd knew she was going to crash into someone and become a hated character for years
It happened, to lose her attention, or her confidence for a split second could leave her injured for life so she sensibly said no I m going to stand aside let someone else get a medal I m not up to it at this point of time
What on earth is wrong with that?

Indeed. I didn’t understand either, especially the “I agree Lucca”

Exactly Whitewave. I'm glad you got help and that you feel better.

timetogo2016

I agree Lucca,some poor soul would have loved the chance to be in the Olympics.

What do you agree with ? Certainly not me. Your comment shows a very narrow minded and intolerant attitude.

If you read what I said properly in answer to Monica…..

Similar to your flatmate, MOnica (07.27), one of the friends I've mentioned above isn't emotionally up to a lot of things she doesn't want to do. But she is up to nightclubs, bars, outings she's driven on, overseas holidays. So while I feel bad for her in the ways she's restricted her life, I rolled my eyes at her most recent self diagnosed condition. I genuinely hope for her sake her marriage doesn't break down, because otherwise she'll be v poor and totally unemployable, never having worked.

Kate1949

Exactly Whitewave. I'm glad you got help and that you feel better.

That was 20 years ago and I have never looked back?

What I do think is that depression take many forms. I would never have recognised that I was depressed as I was as far as I was concerned functioning perfectly ok - although sleep deprivation was a major factor.

No one should ever, ever stand in judgement over someone who says that they feel that they have mental health issues. You can’t possible know what is going on in their life.

I think the terminology around these problems need to be broadened.
'Mental health' has become a catch-all word covering, as in this instance, the effects of persistent intense pressure as well as identifiable and treatable clinical illness.

A few years ago we would have said, 's/he just can't take any more', or 'the pressure got too much'. This is now expressed in terms of 'mental health', without, I think, the sympathy felt being any different.

My mother didn’t operate in a compassion vacuum Moorlandmooner. She was the kindest person I’ve known. But she taught me the value of determination and it has served me well over the years. Of course not all mental health problems are caused by stress, and I have never suggested that they are, though that is what this thread is about. Of course someone can sit quietly and wish they were dead without anyone knowing, I have done that many times and I’m sure Kate has but if someone says they were weeping for some considerable time and then suddenly emerges with a full face of makeup and false lashes miraculously intact I question the truth of what they say. Anyone who’s wept for the time alleged, with or without makeup, would question it. People who make less than credible statements like that devalue those who genuinely suffer and give ammunition to those who do not have genuine mental health problems but for whatever reason simply think this is a good way to get attention. It seems that no matter what I say I cannot get across the point that there are genuine sufferers who need support and treatment (and perhaps to work in an occupation which they can handle) and those who simply find mental health a convenient and fashionable bandwagon on which to jump. They do not further the cause of those with real issues which require support and treatment, quite the reverse.

When my brother was struggling with his mental health (which sadly didn't end well) I'm ashamed to say I found him very difficult. I used to get annoyed with him and tell him to sort himself out. I couldn't understand it at all. Oh how I regret that.
I would just add that, as I now believe was the case with my brother, sometimes terrible things happen to people which they are too ashamed or scared to tell anyone about. It can go on to destroy them. Sorry if that's a bit 'heavy'.
I am fortunate that I have a husband and siblings who I can speak to. Doctors never been much help to be honest.

Is this really just another dig at M&H?

That to Germanshepherdsmum

It is so good that someone like Simone Biles can say NO.....I cannot continue competing at the moment. In the past this would not have happened, and she may well have been forced to continue with disastrous life effecting physical damage.

It has happened in the past where gymnasts were told to 'pull themselves together' etc, - in one horrifically bad case meaning that a young woman ended up as a paraplegic.

For me, this has made Biles a great role model, not just for her own sport, not just for females in sport - but for all sportsman, at all levels, who now know that they have ultimate control.

It might interest some people to know that it was unsafe for Simone Biles to continue.
Because of whatever has happened to her brain she has lost her Spatial awareness.
To see an athlete of her calibre dismounting from the parallel bar and falling flat on her back is very sad.

Were you asleep Alegrias

Galaxy

Were you asleep Alegrias

Apparently ? ?

Can anyone imagine any reason for Simone Biles to pull out other than her own genuine concerns for her mental health? Laziness? Attention-seeking? I don’t think so.

My dad was the life and soul of the party and loved by everyone when he was out and about, unfortunately that's characteristic of someone who is bi-polar. The public never saw the other side of him, his depression. He self medicated with alcohol until he had a major breakdown and required hospitalisation. Even after that when he was on major drug treatment and had electric shock treatment he was still sociable sometimes. Few people knew bout his real MHP.
No one can judge another persons mental health by their behaviour. Attending the Olympic Games must be a stressful experience and this year even more. It's better to recognise you have a problem and seek help than just to carry on until you collapse.

Sorry Lucca/Bluebelle.
I got the wrong end of the stick.
I meant it is such a shame someone couldn`t take her place.

It might interest some people to know that it was unsafe for Simone Biles to continue.

Which people?

Brave and kind posts Kate1949 and WW, thank you. Germanshepherdsmum I am sorry you have suffered with mental health problems for many years, but dare I say it, you are not very understanding of other people's problems, and come across as rather 'stiff upper lip' to the point of being rather dismissive. I fail to see the relevance of your comments about young people and wartime suffering of our grandparents generation, mainly because I truly dislike generational prejudice. Yes, there are undoubtedly some people who will cite mental health problems as their reason for not doing something, but they have always been with us, the same as the perpetual 'bad back' sufferers. Again, I am sorry you have had these problems.