DH inviting people over for dinner

You may see a few parallels here: my DH insisted we had joint money; I managed the finances; he left it to me to know how much money we had; he was dilatory about paying off the mortgage; having the debt bothered me.
So I sought advice, paid off the mortgage and presented the knowledge on Christmas Day. He couldn’t argue in front of family, could he?
I suggest you emphatically state that your sole priority is to pay off the mortgage and want sufficient contribution from him until this is achieved. The alternative is joint money which you manage. He can choose but he must agree on one. (If I were you I’d persuade him to go for the latter.)
Then, and only then, can you both have peace of mind: you’ll feel financially secure and he won’t hear your worries.

Sorry, Pink Cosmos, but this doesn't sound like a very happy relationship. There are marriages that do function with one partner shouldering an unequal share of responsibility to make it work, but you are clearly not satisfied with the current arrangements and rightly resent being called a whinger.

This is so horribly familiar: my ex-husband's attitude was 'live today and pay for it with tomorrow's money', or even better, someone else's. Never mind the debts he incurred; a good time was all that mattered.

Your husband knows your concerns about the mortgage yet he is 'unable' to contribute. He also knows you have savings. Don't rely on him being around if they are not enough to cover the lifestyle he enjoys.
You cannot make this work on your own, and at present you are not a team.

I can understand your dilemma Pink Cosmos, and I sympathise. It is very hard to see the situation for what it really is when you are emotionally stuck in the middle of it.
Others have covered many points which I hope have helped you but I would like to add another point.
What happens if you become ill with something that makes it impossible for you to continue managing the finances? No one knows if a stroke, cancer or something else will strike. Will he suddenly change his character and take care of matters or will he wait for you to recover, meanwhile losing your house and money.
IMHO, at the minute he is behaving like a child and thoroughly enjoying his life, why wouldn’t he be he has all the fun and none of the responsibilities and worries that he has put on your shoulders. You deserve the fun part too. A marriage is a partnership and as such fun and problems should be shared in equal proportions, you don’t seem to have that.
Can you think ahead ten years and see where you both will be? If you are concerned now, how much worse will it be then in ten, twenty or thirty years time. I think you need to get matters sorted now before it is too late for you to be effective. Good luck.

Sorry PinkCosmos didn't read all the posts (didn't load for some reason). If your still reading it is clear you aren't going to leave him and you probably already expected most of these answers. However, still I am still concerned you and your husband are heading for a financial disaster with the house. No guarantee you will be able to downsize (cost of buying and selling), you might not be able to secure a decent remortgage and when the current mortgage matures the bank will be happy to take your house and sell it at a loss to you. So a possible plan.

Step 1 sit down with your husband again and talk. Tell him your fears for your future. You are married so all money is joint. The savings are as much his as yours. When he is frittering away 'his' earnings that's your money he is spending!

Step 2 review your finances together and think about what you will need in retirement. This review by Which could be very helpful. (Note it assumes you own your own home.) Get your husband to look at it with you:

www.which.co.uk/money/pensions-and-retirement/starting-to-plan-your-retirement/how-much-will-you-need-to-retire-atu0z9k0lw3p

Step 3: make a plan to pay off the mortgage. So talk to the bank about remortgaging (as suggested already). Use the bulk of your savings to pay off a lump and then arrange a repayment mortgage for the remainder for as short a time as possible, say 5 years. As your equity is so high you should get a really low interest rate so this could even save you money!

Hopefully you can get a plan that gives you both financial security at this time of life. Then you can stop worrying about his spending and start enjoying his 'zest for life' again.