Gransnet forums


Managed by health

(53 Posts)
User7777 Mon 09-Aug-21 13:03:45

I think I am unreasonable. I have multiple health problems. And to be constantly harassed about my weight etc by those who know best. I feel as if it's a slide towards the care home or grave, when they want to measure me, take bloods, review me constantly. I know in my heart I still feel young but am restricted by health. I dont need reminding all the time. Ie. I cant have this that it the other unless I am reviewed. My life isnt my own anymore

Septimia Mon 09-Aug-21 13:07:28

No, not unreasonable. It's a pain to be harrassed like that.

Is it possible for you to review your situation to see what you feel is acceptable, then what is necessary, and negotiate how much intervention you actually get?

Or just shout at them !!

Peasblossom Mon 09-Aug-21 13:10:56

Well if you’re wanting something to be provided the medical person has a duty of care to make sure its the right thing for you.

Especially if you have multiple problems. Just dishing something out could kill you, if you’re taking other medication.

Not quite sure what you want to be honest.

User7777 Mon 09-Aug-21 13:11:11

Shout at them.... that's an idea. Why do health people think we need intervention all the time. I would rather die at home, happy, than go into care. And believe me they have tried

Riverwalk Mon 09-Aug-21 13:13:28

Or just shout at them !!

Shout at whom - the health professionals trying to help?

User7777 Mon 09-Aug-21 13:13:38

Peas blossom. I want to be free and decide my own fate. My gran was right, once we go into hospital, and they start cutting bits off or operating its downhill from there

GillT57 Mon 09-Aug-21 13:15:53

It sounds as if you are being treated as a group of symptoms rather than as a person. So, take charge, speak out, politely, and ask for answers. Maybe write things down so that you don't get flustered and emotional when worn down by it all?

Poppyred Mon 09-Aug-21 13:16:04

Not sure what you want? Medication is not the answer to all woes. You have to make an effort as well……

Peasblossom Mon 09-Aug-21 13:22:31

That’s ok then. You can just refuse any treatment. Anybody can do that.

What you can’t do is pick and chose what you will or won’t have because, as I said that could be dangerous.

And medical staff have a duty of care.

Peasblossom Mon 09-Aug-21 13:23:22

You can refuse all treatment

Blossoming Mon 09-Aug-21 13:36:06

It’s been my way of life since childhood. I’m very grateful for all those who watch out for me and enable me to live a full life.

I see it the opposite way round to the post title. I’m in control of my health and I do whatever it takes to stay as well as I can.

BigBertha1 Mon 09-Aug-21 14:17:44

User7777 I'm sorry you are unhappy with your care and feeling miserable about your situation but I think this is more about the relationship you have with the health care staff which is very much two way street. If you are pleasant and co-operative ( I do not mean passive) you will forge a better partnership and find the various 'interventions' more bearable. I always made a big effort to get to know patients and their unique situation but sometimes its very difficult on both sides. All your carers want is to help you.

SueDonim Mon 09-Aug-21 14:35:13

What kind of things do you want that you’re being denied? Professionals can’t be complicit in giving you things that could harm you, even if you want them.

I do think health problems can lead to feeling like a cog in the system but you are allowed to make your own decisions and can decline any treatment offered. My dd is a young hospital doctor and people refuse treatment surprisingly often

Peasblossom Mon 09-Aug-21 14:40:58

I think the OP has said elsewhere that she has refused several operations for her problems.

Dogsmakemesmile Mon 09-Aug-21 14:50:32

I am sorry you are feeling so diminished. People do have different agendas in these situations and having multiple health issues will complicate matters. Have you a good friend with whom to discuss the situation or family member? Could this person perhaps accompany you to advocate (not because you are not capable!) on your behalf. Or take notes? Can you ask for time to make any decisions being pressed upon you? Your autonomy should not be compromised. As others have said, you are entitled to refuse treatments. I hope things become easier. Take care.

Blossoming Mon 09-Aug-21 15:15:13

I remember the “Mortified in Boots” thread where the OP said she is obese (her word, not mine) and wanted to lose weight. Asking these interfering health professionals for help and advice seems like a positive step in the right direction.

MawBe Mon 09-Aug-21 16:38:14

My Dad used to say he never wanted to go into hospital because “ once they get their claws into you, you never get out” !
Mind you he also reckoned bed was one of the most dangerous places as “so may people die there”. grin

Go, girl User777/- live your life your way!

welbeck Mon 09-Aug-21 16:45:40

OP, do you have any support irl, anyone to go with you to medical appts.
it is useful to have another set of ears, and to write down what is said, by whom, designation etc.
sorry you are feeling got at.
are there any HCPs that you have been able to speak to helpfully.

User7777 Thu 12-Aug-21 23:50:30

It's now worse. Its them that dont engage with me, and I have always been pleasant. Drs upset the chemist, so now I have no tablets, while they refuse to apologise to each other

CafeAuLait Thu 12-Aug-21 23:56:35

User777, are you feeling overwhelmed by all the different interventions? Is it possible for you to sit down with your GP, tell them you're finding it too much, and work out a plan that fits with your needs but reduces the number of interventions? Even if they can't do much, maybe they can help you understand why they are doing what they are doing and find ways too make it easier for you?

JenniferEccles Fri 13-Aug-21 10:05:29

What a very strange thread.
How can you possibly be angry with medics who, presumably, are doing their best to help you with your various illnesses.

I wish you would take the recommendation to lose weight seriously as being overweight will undoubtedly impact negatively on your health generally.

The medical professionals you complain so bitterly about are the very ones with the potential to restore you to good health.

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 13-Aug-21 10:05:37

OP, I have multiple health problems too, and have spent my entire life, since I was a toddler, on medication. Without it I doubt I’d be here. I must take my medication for the rest of my life and can’t imagine what it must have been like for our ancestors when such medications hadn’t been invented, or when they needed a doctor but couldn’t afford to pay. These modern medications work wonders and mine enable me to live a pretty normal life but the doctor has to check us periodically for each one, blood tests to check the levels of medication in our system etc etc etc to ensure the medicines are working for us and don’t need changing or adjusting. It’s a thorough pain but essential. Perhaps you have a review coming up soon? They always put me on edge too. And they check our weight and tell us we really should lose some because being overweight leads to other illnesses, has been a factor in many people dying from covid, and of course it doesn’t help our mobility which again leads to more medical conditions. If the GP or nurse didn’t make these checks or advise us about our weight they would be negligent and we mightn’t get the right medication or dosage. I’m very grateful for the care I get and always treat the medical staff with gratitude and politeness. Making enemies doesn’t get us anywhere so I wouldn’t advise shouting at them! See if you can have a chat with your GP as CafeAuLait suggests, and if some problem between doctor and chemist has left you without your tablets that’s not good and you must phone the surgery about that straight away. Chin up, we are so lucky to have a life to call our own, even without perfect health it’s a lot better than the alternative!

Franbern Thu 19-Aug-21 08:49:40

Sorry, but I think you are being unreasonable. You do not want to hear good advice by health professionals as to how best to help your medical conditions - particularly with regard to you weight control.

I speak as someone who also has a constant battle with this - do know that if I do not take care as to what and how much I eat I worsen my existing health conditions and bring about new ones . (During first lockdown I came very close to type 2 diabetes - as I had used scrumptious food as comfort).

At 80 years of age, losing weight is not easy, but I have done so and moved a good way from being pre-diabetic .

As for that extremely silly quote about 'cutting bits off', etc. How very very silly is that. No surgery is ever undertaken lightly by health professionals, it is the last resort and can make the difference both between quality of life and life itself.

In my late thirties I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitus. For the next ten years I was on increasingly high doses of strong medications and increasingly ill. Finally gave in to medical advice and had a permament ileostomy. Once I recovered from that trauma I never looked back and was angry with myself for waiting so long. Virtually lost nearly ten years of my life. Had I not had that operation then, I would have long since been dead. So wished I had that carried out when first adviced by the Doctors.

Treat your own diet as part of your medication and control of your medical problems. And do listen to and act on medical advice.

Elegran Thu 19-Aug-21 09:12:52

Why do you think the doctors advise things, or want to give you tests or review you? They are snowed under with patients and red tape, don't you think they would be happier not bothering? Believe it or not, they do it because their job is to make you healthier and they are honour bound not to do anything that makes you worse. They don't want to take over your life, but when you go to them for help, they must consider all your ailments and conditions.

Every medical intervention has an effect, some effects are good and some bad. If they give you "this, that or the other" without reviewing ALL the effects it has on you, it could be that some other condition is getting worse.

You say yourself that you have multiple health problems. That must make it more difficult for them to prescribe treatment that will help one thing without affecting something else, and your weight is one thing that can have a lot of impact on everything else and also, most importantly, it is something that YOU can do a lot to improve.

If you don't want treatment, you can refuse it, but surely you can see that if you keep refusing to do something to contribute to your own body maintenance, you can't expect someone else to produce a magic wand from their medicine cupboard that will cure you with no side effects?

foxie48 Thu 19-Aug-21 09:19:22

I don't think it's unreasonable for a health professional to offer advice on how someone can improve their health, in fact I think they would be failing in their duty to their patient if they didn't. I don't know your circumstances but I do know that giving an obese patient a general anaesthetic is much more of a risk as a fat neck can be tricky to intubate, any operation is much riskier and carries a greater potential for poor wound healing especially if the patient is also diabetic etc My butcher desperately needs a hip replacement but suffers with vasculitis and they need to get that under control before they can operate. So, yes, I do think you are being unreasonable, sorry.